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My Mam

(114 Posts)
Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 18:31:58

Hello,

I dont know if you 'knew' my mam, I know she posted here occasionally.

Her name was Ella Keat (i think).

She had cancer and was struggling a bit because someone on here knew who she was and spread private information to the whole village.

My mam died yesterday.

I cannot believe I am saying that. I am sitting in her house, her home and saying she has gone. So quickly.
I dont know how much she was on here. I know she read a lot, but I dont know if she was one of you, if you know what I mean,
My mam was amazing. I will never be the woman she was. She died before she ebven made her sixties. She fostered dozens of children, a multitude of donkeys, goats and llamas (!), and worked tirelessly with both a foodbank and homeless charity.

She is irreplaceable.

I really do not know if you knew her, but I do knownthat she 'knew' you, somthought I would report in.

I cannot tell you how much she will be missed.

crazyH Sun 02-Feb-20 00:33:38

I remember her plans for a family holiday.
My condolences to you and the family. flowers

heavensjoys Sun 02-Feb-20 00:42:27

My sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved Mam I am in tears just reading your beautiful tribute to her.

Ella came across as such a lovely, kind, generous lady. Rest in peace dearest girl. You should be so proud of your wonderful family.

My heart goes out to all of you, Vicbar.

Sark Sun 02-Feb-20 07:38:01

Dear vicbar my thoughts are with you.
What a special and wonderful lady your Mum must have been and you must miss her like crazy.
Sending love and strength to you.

dragonfly46 Sun 02-Feb-20 07:56:29

My thoughts are with you vicbar. Ella was clearly a wonderful lady and a wonderful mum.
We will miss her on here.

Alygran Sun 02-Feb-20 07:58:24

I remember her too. A remarkable lady. Sending love flowers

Ginny42 Sun 02-Feb-20 08:06:07

Dear vicbar. I remember your Mum. I thought of her as the donkey lady and she spoke of them as though they were her friends.

What a a beautiful tribute to your amazing Mam. Of course you are like her. She was your Mam and you'll have that special bond for ever.

Big hugs for being so brave and kind to let us know. x

seasider Sun 02-Feb-20 08:13:44

I did not know your mum but she sounds amazing . My sincere condolences x

NotSpaghetti Sun 02-Feb-20 08:28:17

vicbar - thinking of you and your family at this so difficult time.
I remember her saying quite recently that she kept a diary for and about you and times with her grandchild/grandchildren (not sure if there are one or several). She said she was loving doing this and marking all the happy times.
It will be there for you somewhere, one day when you are ready and will maybe help a little, hearing of her love and joys in her own words.

Thinking of you. ?

Yiayia4 Sun 02-Feb-20 08:38:12

So sorry for your loss your mam was a lovely lady xx?

Pittcity Sun 02-Feb-20 09:12:10

Sending big hugs to you and your family vicbar xx

Susan56 Sun 02-Feb-20 09:35:12

Thinking of you and your family vicbar.
Your mam came across as a lovely,brave lady full of love for her family and animals.
Your tribute to her is truly beautiful.
Sending you my sincere condolences and love,thoughts.prayers and strength?

vegansrock Sun 02-Feb-20 09:41:47

What a lovely lady she sounds. We need more loving, selfless people in the world like her. Gone too soon but leaves a legacy of love.

Brunette10 Sun 02-Feb-20 09:55:42

Vicbar - thank you so much for letting us all know about your mam, it was very thoughtful of you. I can imagine how you must be feeling, I remember that feeling only too well. You have much to be proud of and I hope these special memories of her Gransnet days will help you through your sad loss. Take care flowers

harrigran Sun 02-Feb-20 10:00:37

My condolences to you vicbar, your mam was taken too soon.
The last time she posted she was distressed and I thought that was a great shame as she was on holiday.

Soozikinzi Sun 02-Feb-20 10:21:15

So
Sorry for
Your great loss your
Mam was a true diamond .You were so fortunate to have such a lovely Mam that it’s no wonder her loss is so hard to bear .Thinking of you .

Nandalot Sun 02-Feb-20 11:04:24

So sorry for your loss, Vicbar. Your mother sounds like she she was a wonderful lady.

morethan2 Sun 02-Feb-20 12:35:51

Condolences Vicbar your mam sounds wonderful. Your post was a testament of your love for her.

Daisyboots Sun 02-Feb-20 12:56:58

My condolences to you Vicbar on the loss of your Mam. I read some of her posts and remember her wanting to book a large house for a big family holiday and thinking what a lovely idea it was. You are obviously your mother's daughter to take the time to post on here to let us know when you must be suffering so much. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Vicbar Sun 02-Feb-20 17:35:41

10:00harrigran - can you tell me any more please?
My m came back off holiday very quiet - not like her at all- and just went down and down, not like her at all.
If she was distressed, do you know why?
I know her name on here was Ella Keat,but I can't find her posts?

Vicbar Sun 02-Feb-20 17:36:45

I just get this,

No search results

MawB Sun 02-Feb-20 17:41:18

www.google.com/url?client=internal-element-cse&cx=010995057459380558086:wn3vvylhmc4&q=https://signal-corridor.live/forums/aibu/1270350-AIBU-to-be-so-up-and-down%3Fpg=4&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwi2leugtLPnAhUmxYUKHU-ECVoQFjACegQICBAC&usg=AOvVaw3-qNAVoRoaWlyB8rYcN9no%3C/a%3E%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3EI see that PMs have disappeared and some threads have been withdrawn, I am assuming at your Mam’s request. But this might work.

Vicbar Sun 02-Feb-20 18:25:51

Oh Lord I can just hear her voice in that MawB, thank you so much.

I have just realised it was not
Ella Keat, but EllaKeat, so might be able to find more posts.

If only she had made it to a wet February morning?

She was so, well, almost flippant about it all. Booking holidays, filling the freezer ,' because we couldn't be trusted to feed ourselves', and generally just looking after everyone else. We knew she must have her bad times, but we never heard them. She obviously took solace here.

Someone mentioned a diary.

She had two grandchildren. She kept a memory book from the day they were born for both of them. They are filled with her. That's the only way I can describe them. Lots of memories, sketches, recipes that they made together, stuff that happened in the news, with her opinions alongside, photographs she had printed memories from when she was a child.... Honestly, they are masterpieces.
My daughter won't be getting hers until she is old enough to understand the love that went into it.
Both books had a note ( a neon yellow post it,) telling me and my brother we had to continue the stories in the books until her grandchildren were fourteen.....where she got fourteen from, God only knows, and we can never write the way she did.
Sorry, I know I am drivelling on, bit it is actually helping me come to terms, just writing it down?

Grannyjay Sun 02-Feb-20 18:41:47

I am so sorry for your loss but what a jewel of a mother you had! She has enriched your life and filled you with love and appreciation. You are blessed as many do not have that unconditional love in their lives. You will always have that feeling in your heart which is something you will never forget. To have a mother you absolutely adore is envious.

Vicbar Sun 02-Feb-20 18:46:41

Thank you. Believe me, I know how lucky we all were!

BUT, I simply cannot get anything on a search for her posts, even using EllaKeat rather than Ella Keat.

Someone said my mam was distressed when on holiday. Its like a scab. I really need to know what was wrong. She was so down when she came home, and never got back to being her.
Was she feeling ill? Was she in pain?

Sorry, my mind is churning!

Bathsheba Sun 02-Feb-20 18:52:31

Vicbar try doing a Google search instead - it's often more productive than the search function on GN. I just Googled "ellakeat gransnet" and it returned several results.