My Mam

We do care Vicbar. She was special and we on GN cared. Be proud of your Mam.

Vicbar in that thread that MawB posted a link to, I have posted that she should write on a letter Sod off the lot of you.

That did refer to a couple of her deleted posts where she said she had received a letter from, I think, an 'end of life' care team and it did upset her for reasons I can understand; the way it was written for one, which she described.

So if you were worrying that she had received a nasty letter from anyone, no, she had not, it was a nice letter but not one she wanted to read which was very understandable.

I don't know if that will help or not but I thought you should know in case you were worrying about that.

But she was........

Sorry - I was a wee bit wrong, and overguessed!
My brother says 40 of her people came to the bbq. Not the 46 I claimed ?

I know you dont really care, but I can just hear my mam shouting 'for Gods sake Vic, I wasnt THAT popular'

She was.

38Marydoll thank you
Just thank you so much.

Vicbar, it's good to hear more about your Mum. What a truly special lady she was. All those people she fostered, she obviously turned their lives around with her love and support. How great that so many of them turned up for the bbq, to show how they appreciated her. 46 of them, wow. Not many of us will leave such a legacy.

And she gave you and your family huge amounts of love. She had no choice but to go, but she will always be in your hearts.

Vicbar, I was in contact with your mum, as were a few others.
Your mum knew the end was near and poured out her heart on here and in PMs about her love for her family and her animals and how little time she had left with you all.
There was so much she still wanted to do and was shocked when she was given her prognosis, thinking she had more time.

She herself, was responsible for posts and PMs being deleted, as being the wonderful mother she was, she wanted to protect you all from how she was feeling on those days she was feeling very low. In saying that, there were also posts when she was very upbeat. That was why she deregistered, she loved you all so much and didn't want you to be upset, if you ever read them.

I was actually replying to a PM from her, when all her PMs started disappearing from my inbox, so I couldn't retrieve them if I tried.

A very brave lady indeed! Be proud of your mam and remember how she was before all this.

Not boring at all. You were lucky to have such a great mum, and your children such an amazing granny.

You reminisce away. We enjoy hearing it. ? ?

You were not boring us. She sounds very special. It was lovely to hear about her.

Oh, and the donkeys were in seventh heaven having so many people to boss about!

Thank you Curlywhirly - she was a force to be reckoned with!
Last August Bank Holiday, we, or I should say, she, had a big bbq. Goats and llamas invited, as well as all the people she had helped and fostered ( she did a bbq like this every 2 years).
I think, although I might be a few out, she short term fostered 51 young people. And there were two 'unofficial'before that.
At the bbq 46 of her charges turned up, along with partners and children of their own.
Some had travelled from the south coast to be here for her, it was incredible!
I think she did lose touch with 4 or 5 of her youngsters, but dont really know - she kept information about them very private.

I will go now. Sorry to bore for Britain about her?

Vicbar, so sorry to hear your sad news. I am relatively new to GN, but do remember your Mam's post regarding being up and down. What an amazing lady, and so brave to share her thoughts. And since you have told us about her fostering so many teenagers and how kind she was and how she loved animals, I am even more in awe of her. How lucky you are to have had such a remarkable Mam, what a star she was.

Thank you Bathsheba. Just tried that and it did give me some posts, none of which shocked me, in case anyone wondered, but there is nothing about my mam being distressed on holiday and I am rather stupidly fixating on this now?
Perhaps I should just leave it.
I don't know. I KNOW something was wrong when she came back. I KNOW you know what it was. Was she in pain? That just keeps going round in my mind.
As long as I know she was not in physical or mental pain, I don't need to know the details, if anyone can remember.

Vicbar try doing a Google search instead - it's often more productive than the search function on GN. I just Googled "ellakeat gransnet" and it returned several results.

Thank you. Believe me, I know how lucky we all were!

BUT, I simply cannot get anything on a search for her posts, even using EllaKeat rather than Ella Keat.

Someone said my mam was distressed when on holiday. Its like a scab. I really need to know what was wrong. She was so down when she came home, and never got back to being her.
Was she feeling ill? Was she in pain?

Sorry, my mind is churning!

I am so sorry for your loss but what a jewel of a mother you had! She has enriched your life and filled you with love and appreciation. You are blessed as many do not have that unconditional love in their lives. You will always have that feeling in your heart which is something you will never forget. To have a mother you absolutely adore is envious.

Oh Lord I can just hear her voice in that MawB, thank you so much.

I have just realised it was not
Ella Keat, but EllaKeat, so might be able to find more posts.

If only she had made it to a wet February morning?

She was so, well, almost flippant about it all. Booking holidays, filling the freezer ,' because we couldn't be trusted to feed ourselves', and generally just looking after everyone else. We knew she must have her bad times, but we never heard them. She obviously took solace here.

Someone mentioned a diary.

She had two grandchildren. She kept a memory book from the day they were born for both of them. They are filled with her. That's the only way I can describe them. Lots of memories, sketches, recipes that they made together, stuff that happened in the news, with her opinions alongside, photographs she had printed memories from when she was a child.... Honestly, they are masterpieces.
My daughter won't be getting hers until she is old enough to understand the love that went into it.
Both books had a note ( a neon yellow post it,) telling me and my brother we had to continue the stories in the books until her grandchildren were fourteen.....where she got fourteen from, God only knows, and we can never write the way she did.
Sorry, I know I am drivelling on, bit it is actually helping me come to terms, just writing it down?

www.google.com/url?client=internal-element-cse&cx=010995057459380558086:wn3vvylhmc4&q=https://signal-corridor.live/forums/aibu/1270350-AIBU-to-be-so-up-and-down%3Fpg=4&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwi2leugtLPnAhUmxYUKHU-ECVoQFjACegQICBAC&usg=AOvVaw3-qNAVoRoaWlyB8rYcN9no%3C/a%3E%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3EI see that PMs have disappeared and some threads have been withdrawn, I am assuming at your Mam’s request. But this might work.

I just get this,

No search results

10:00harrigran - can you tell me any more please?
My m came back off holiday very quiet - not like her at all- and just went down and down, not like her at all.
If she was distressed, do you know why?
I know her name on here was Ella Keat,but I can't find her posts?

My condolences to you Vicbar on the loss of your Mam. I read some of her posts and remember her wanting to book a large house for a big family holiday and thinking what a lovely idea it was. You are obviously your mother's daughter to take the time to post on here to let us know when you must be suffering so much. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Condolences Vicbar your mam sounds wonderful. Your post was a testament of your love for her.

So sorry for your loss, Vicbar. Your mother sounds like she she was a wonderful lady.

So
Sorry for
Your great loss your
Mam was a true diamond .You were so fortunate to have such a lovely Mam that it’s no wonder her loss is so hard to bear .Thinking of you .

My condolences to you vicbar, your mam was taken too soon.
The last time she posted she was distressed and I thought that was a great shame as she was on holiday.