My uncle used to coach basketball, and he had a player who he thought was slacking off. He made the kid run laps once. The kid took off around the gym, and suddenly there was a loud SNAP! The kid, completely unfazed, simply said, "Oh, broke a bolt". Turned out he had an artificial foot and a bolt in it had broken. He went to his locker, got out a few tools, and replaced the bolt.
Why can't I wear this to a wedding?
Ha! Ha! Haaaaaaaaa! An OBE in exchange for the State Pension?

