Dear KatyK. That is so sad. It is also not uncommon. I have met so many people upset by a cruel childhood or upset by the rigorous religious upbringing they received. Often the two things are intertwined. This of course is nothing to do with God, it is the work of people and the fact that we live in the world outside the Garden of Eden and where the Devil holds sway. We are weak and do not understand. It is terrible that children suffer and I am not in the least surprised that you have no time for any Christian faith.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Unlike many, I believe it was purely by chance that you were in a family which delivered this kind of upbringing. I do not believe the theory that we are set trials that we can endure or to make us stronger. I simply think it is the mark of the wickedness that exists in the world, call it whatever you like. I really wish I could say something that could comfort you. I am so sorry you had to live through such a terrible childhood. I do believe that Jesus is very distressed about it and angry with the perpetrators of the cruelty. Why he does not intervene is a mystery we cannot understand until we see the next world. I did not believe in God, having had a difficult childhood too, until I was shown the next life, very briefly, and then I saw plainly that this life is just a passing phase and that we are loved so much and life goes on so much more wonderfully after we leave this world. This changed me. If you can have just a tiny hope, a grain of belief as the Bible says, then the way ahead will be wonderful for you. Meanwhile try to make a good life for yourself, one you deserve, and do not let the unhappiness of childhood throw its shadow over your life now.
With much love, Elle. ?? ?
