Gransnet forums

Chat

What did your parents think?

(97 Posts)
MissAdventure Tue 14-Jan-20 15:50:17

When they first met your husband/wife?
My mum always had a love/hate relationship with my ex.
Apparently he took great big steps all around her living room (one of her reasons!)

Eglantine21 Wed 15-Jan-20 08:35:26

They liked him. Of course they did, they liked all my boyfriends.

My sister and I would often come home with the current boyfriends to find a collection of past boyfriends inhabiting the kitchen, stuffing themselves with dinner or cake, watching football en masse in the living room or carrying out odd jobs.

The most irritating thing was that the current boyfriends would drift off to join them........

Willow500 Wed 15-Jan-20 08:05:44

As we were only 15 when we met they liked him and grew to love him as the son they never had. They weren't too pleased at my pregnancy at 16 but after we were married supported us wholeheartedly as did his parents. He was the first person to realise they needed support when they developed dementia and we both shared the burden of care for them in their final years.

grannyactivist Wed 15-Jan-20 01:52:23

My mother likes my husband enormously, but when she first met him she wondered (initially out loud) why on earth he married me when he could have married a girl of his own age who didn’t come with a ready made family. She has never ceased telling me how lucky I am that he’s stayed married to me (for 33 years). It really sets my husband’s teeth on edge that she is so genuinely puzzled about what he sees in me, but he’s a very kind man and understands that I have long since come to terms with it and he accepts that if I can cope with her attitude, he must too.

ladymuck Tue 14-Jan-20 21:30:09

My father and my husband worked in the same place, and my father seemed to think well of him. However, he changed his opinion when we started dating and he got to know him properly.

BradfordLass72 Tue 14-Jan-20 20:35:22

My parents made it very clear they disliked him the very first time they ever met.
The reason? He was a Catholic. They never changed their minds.

They also disliked Jews, people of colour, and "foreigners" - none of whm they actually knew.

They didn't go to church and had no religious beliefs and in fact scorned mine when, as a teenager, I wanted to join a Baptist church.

My in-laws were warm, loving people who took to me, despite their disappointment that their son had chosen a non Catholic.
They never pressed me to convert and we had a good relationship all my married life.

Scentia Tue 14-Jan-20 20:09:45

My whole family disliked my DH. He was divorced and very good looking, they said it won’t last 5 minutes he will be off with another women if he gets the chance. Funny that, out of 6 children we are the only ones still together after 30 years, he hates my family they have always tried to break us apart, they still do if I ever see them, which doesn’t happen very often!!!

Barmeyoldbat Tue 14-Jan-20 19:04:16

My mum never liked any of her sil

Charleygirl5 Tue 14-Jan-20 19:03:51

Nobody was really good enough to marry their daughter. They did appear to get on but I managed to keep both sets of parents apart.

My parents died in 1979, we divorced in 1988 and thank God they were not around because all I would have heard was "I told you so" and we knew it would not last".

Hetty58 Tue 14-Jan-20 19:02:29

My mother disliked both my husbands (but she found fault with everyone). My father was so polite, I never really knew what he was thinking.

MissAdventure Tue 14-Jan-20 18:53:11

smile
I suppose he gave them quite a surprise.

ninathenana Tue 14-Jan-20 18:52:16

They liked him. Thought he was a cheeky cockney chap. Mum didn't like his swearing (his whole family freely used the f bomb) he soon learn't not to swear.

He and mum were close until the day she died. He would do anything for her after dad died.

BBbevan Tue 14-Jan-20 18:45:29

My mum was horrified. Bearing in mind we were art students in the 60s, DH had shoulder length hair, tight striped jeans. A leather waistcoat and knee high suede theatrical boots. They did get to love him though and quickly recognised his good qualities. Mum wasn’t too keen on walking out with me either. Fringe like Claudia Winkleman and enormous black jumper and ski pants. Plus a bag full of paintbrushes and pencils. We thought we were the bees knees . ??

Grandma70s Tue 14-Jan-20 18:42:18

They thought he was suitable for me, right sort of background and job. He was Australian, though, so I think they feared we would go to Australia (we didn’t). Although they liked him well enough, they wouldn’t have chosen him for me themselves, and my father, of course, didn’t really think he was good enough for me. Hardly anybody ever would have been!

BlueSky Tue 14-Jan-20 18:38:23

They tried hard to get on with him (Husband no1) but it was mission impossible due to his weird and erratic behaviour. But I was young and knew best so went ahead, married him and lived to regret it. They would have loved husband no2, sadly they died before I even met him.

CanadianGran Tue 14-Jan-20 18:31:28

My mother never met my DH until she came for the wedding. I moved to the west coast from central Canada, where i met DH.

Once here she admitted he was from a good family and was a nice young man with a steady trade. She wasn't one to throw praise about easily. I think she was happy that I 'landed on my feet".

SirChenjin Tue 14-Jan-20 18:22:29

They were both very polite and welcoming considering the first time they met him was when we’d visited to tell them we were getting engaged - three months after meeting! They opened the champagne and were very happy for us, and they seemed to like him a lot.

MissAdventure Tue 14-Jan-20 18:21:08

That's lovely.. and sad.

cornergran Tue 14-Jan-20 18:16:12

They got on well once they were used to each other, in fact I suspect a degree of relief in my parents after my previous boyfriend. When my Dad who rarely expressed an emotion knew he was dying he phoned to speak to Mr C, told him how much he loved him and what a good husband he was. Had us both in tears.

Kalu Tue 14-Jan-20 18:06:26

DH was my Mother’s blue eyed boy. DH in turn, adored my DM. I jokingly asked on occasion, whose Mother are you? ?

So lucky that SiL and I have the same relationship.

The sons we never had.

Artdecogran Tue 14-Jan-20 17:52:28

My dad said ‘oh you’re the new flavour of the month then’. My dad was a stern disciplinarian of the Victorian variety, even though he was born in 1934. My flavour lasted for 40 years until 2018 when he died of cancer.

CraftyGranny Tue 14-Jan-20 17:47:18

My mum and stepdad really didn't like him. But eventually came to love him. Fifty years later he is now looking after my mum in heaven now - I hope!

FlexibleFriend Tue 14-Jan-20 17:36:57

My parents never met my Husband as they died in my early teens but I think they would have loved him and him them.

Yennifer Tue 14-Jan-20 17:21:33

Hated (mother and stepfather) but because they were abusive and controlling not because of him. Never sent him a birthday or Christmas card, never invited him anywhere, said he was rude and antisocial despite not inviting him and once offered to buy me a car if I left him x

Witzend Tue 14-Jan-20 17:15:33

Mind didn't like my dh, partly because of his (to them) too long hair and a very rough and rather smelly sheepskin jacket he'd picked up for peanuts on his travels, but largely because they thought he'd treated me badly.

By the time we married, about 7 years later, my father approved entirely, and my mother thought the sun shone out of his backside.

sodapop Tue 14-Jan-20 17:15:21

My father was dead by then but my mother hated my husband as I was pregnant when I married. My family were staunch Methodists so no alcohol at the wedding, my husband's family could be heard asking loudly where the beer was. Not a union made in heaven.