How attitudes have changed towards women?

And where would the Church of England be if they hadn’t allowed the ordination of women?

I started work in a bank in 1969. Female staff were not allowed to answer the door if anyone rang the doorbell, it had to be a male member of staff. A male member of staff always had to be on the premises, i.e. at lunchtime. I had a ‘staff’ account, but if I had been married, my husband could not be on the account as well, but male staff could have their wife on their staff account! Men always got promotion ahead of the women, even if the woman was better suited to the job.
Happy days!

Buying a car which was put in my Husband's name.

Being told there will always be plenty of work for good secretaries and replying I will let my Secretary know that She will be very pleased.

Putting some last minute papers out for a meeting and being asked if I was minuting the meeting to which I replied no and left the room. Walked back in, introduced myself gave my job title and said I am chairing the meeting today.

Being expected to make tea for male colleagues and get their lunch for them from the cafe.

Being told by a male colleague that in his day women stayed at home and cared for their elderly relatives. Fine I said but if I give my job up I can't afford the mortgage on my house and will have to move into a one bedroom flat so they would not be able to live with me. They did not want to anyway as they were very independent.

Things can only get better!

Yes it's a puzzle to me but then each to their own.

In 1974 my husband I bought our first flat. I went to the electricity and gas boards to register new accounts at that address but they would not allow a women to do this. The accounts had to be in the husband's name.
I married at 19 (foolishly!) and a few people asked if I planned to give up work. I would never have thought of giving up work just because I was married in the 1970s.
At interviews I was always asked if I was planning to have a baby as I was married.
Things are so much better now.

KatyK where have these women been for the past 50+ years? It does annoy me when they say such things: my husband doesn't like me doing that or wearing such and such. Please!

Katyk, I’ve known one or two like that. I think they must secretly want to be Stepford Wives ?

One I particularly remember came to the library counter where I worked, with several audio books.
A friend with her asked why all audio and no proper books.

She made an apologetic sort of face. ‘He doesn’t like me reading.’
She was probably only about my age, too. Honestly it was all I. could do not to reach across the counter, give her a good shake and ask her why on earth she didn’t just tell him to sod off!

In 1992 in Portugal I went to open a bank account, we had a joint business one but I wanted my own.
I was told I could only have an account in my Husbands name with my name in brackets underneath his. Only he could sign checks and all my bank statements would be sent to him.
I pointed out that under EU law I could open my own account. the reply was, Women here know that men are better than they are and accept that.
I kicked up with the Lisbon HQ and got a quick apology told that that law had been changed 20 years previously.
I went back to the old goat at the bank in the Algarve with the letter and got my account.

Oh, yes, banks - when I married in 1974 and told the bank (Lloyd’s) about my change of name, they said they would need my husband’s details, inc. his occupation.
@#** off!

I closed the account and went current a/c joint with dh - as it’s been ever since. I’ve since had my own savings accounts, but only for tax purposes - it’s all always been ‘ours’.

One other thing I hope has changed for the better. 1970s a neighbour was going into hospital for a big operation. She made sure her DH had enough frozen meals for everyday she would be away.

When I suggested that perhaps he could cook for himself she replied that she never let him in the kitchen.

I suggest that womens' attitudes have changed almost more than those of the men?

1977 ...getting married, both had bank accounts with 2 different banks. Decided together to make both accounts joint. His bank ....just added me to his account. My bank ...wanted to close my account , open one in his name and add me!!!! I told them to forget it and closed my account! We just had one joint account from then on which worked out fine. Still got the same one

You’ll be glad to know that women no longer need to give their permission for their husband to have a vasectomy! Or certainly not 12 years ago when DH had his.

Oopsminty. Your post reminded me that someone I know, turned up for her first day in a new job, wearing blue trousers and was told she should go home and not to wear jeans in future.
This was a clerical job in a school. 2019!!!

On the other hand, I had to agree to my (now ex) husband having a vasectomy. In the event, he chickened out of the procedure and I had my tubes tied and he agreed to that. Thank goodness he became 'ex'.

I've got a friend who is almost 70. She's intelligent, slim and attractive but she often says 'I'd love to do (whatever) but my husband won't let me.' I don't understand that.

True BlueSky. It was so pathetic to be an unmarried mother. Always the girl's fault too.

No nice man will want to marry you, I was told by my rather enlightened DM. How silly that sounds now.

Apart from what has already been mentioned by other posters, I think one of major changes was the attitude to people living together 'in sin' and having a baby ' out of wedlock' not to mention gay people. Luckily, in this country at least, it's a thing of the past.

I can remember when the family planning clinics were open only to married couples. I think you were told to wear a wedding ring.

I went to have a coil fitted in the 70's and told my husband needed to sign the consent form. I took it, signed with his name and handed it back. The woman Dr just smiled and took it.

In the 90's I use to cycle to work, 22 miles round trip. My neighbour thought it terrible that my husband allowed it.

Elegran and Kalu
But it really was like that.
I can remember my DM saying to us girls: You are so lucky you have the pill now. We looked at each other but neither told DM that we didn't want to take it because, in those early days, it caused headaches, weight gain, lack of libido etc. How ungrateful were we!!

I think the friend who was surprised that I had the use of the family car Oopsminty was only used to the man who had the job needing the car for his work and the woman at home - well she would be too busy cooking and ironing to go anywhere!

In the very early 70s I applied for a job I thought sounded interesting, and where I could use my languages.

Reply came back, Sorry, they hadn’t made it clear in the advertisement, but the job was not open to women because it would involve travel and successful applicants might ‘even’ have to drive a car!
(Though to be entirely fair I had yet to pass my test at the time!)

A few years later I worked as cabin crew for an airline, where they had only very recently stopped forcing people to leave once they married, because your husband wouldn’t like you having to be away - who was going to cook his dinner and iron his shirts?

Also, probably late 60s, I remember my mother absolutely spitting feathers after she’d phoned HMRC about a tax rebate due to her ((she’d gone back to work several years previously) only to be told that this wasn’t her money, it was her husband’s!

Pregnancy outside of marriage is no longer shameful and the fault of the woman.

There is no requirement for women to give up working when they get married or have children.

Childcare is quite rightly seen as a joint responsibility - and not a cost that a woman needs to consider before she returns to work but rather a joint expense.

That women can wear what they want without being seen as ‘asking for it’ (although this viewpoint still exists more than it should )

I wanted to be sterilised in 1979 so I had to go private.
Even though I was separated but not divorced I had to get my husbands signature.
That wasn't happening, so I just took the consent form and signed it myself.

I experienced exactly the same thing Kalu even though I complained at length about this the Consultant said, "you can complain all you like but that is the law "

I order some bedroom fitments from Sharps which I was paying for and was told that my husband had to co sign the easy terms agreement. I had a full time salaried job.

I went along with DD2 when she was looking for a car. Stood in full view of all ‘salesmen’ , one who was at his desk doing a crossword, looked at us then continued with his pastime!

I spoke to the manager who had also noticed us, asking him if it was against company policy to sell cars to females. That woke him up. Very apologetic but I told him I would wait for an apology from his company HQ in reply to my letter of complaint. We walked out. This was mid 1990