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How attitudes have changed towards women?

(159 Posts)
Grammaretto Fri 03-Jan-20 11:33:40

Thinking back over my life I have experienced plenty of changing attitudes and expectations. For the most part I would say things are better for women than they were 40 or 50 years ago.
My examples are:
from 1970:
On trying to set up a creche at the college I attended
" Even if there was any interest, it would be for our staff - not our students but there is no call for such a thing!"
The college subsequently opened a creche which was very well used but not in time for me.
1980
I offered to drive some female friends and one asked me" "Does your husband let you have the car?"
1990
I was teaching and organised a creche at work, which was taken for granted by the users. I suppose I felt a mix of pleasure but also envy that they had not had to fight!
than ever before.

What experiences can you share of things worse or better now?

GrannySomerset Sat 04-Jan-20 13:25:38

Before getting married in 1962 I went to the local family planning clinic to get kitted out. At just 20, I certainly didn’t want a honeymoon baby and in those days the risks of sex before marriage were all too obvious. I had to produce evidence in the form of the engagement announcement in The Times and a (printed) wedding invitations before I was treated! I don’t know how you fared if you didn’t have a printed engagement announcement and/or a properly printed invitation - and presumably most people didn’t.

BlueSky Sat 04-Jan-20 13:17:57

While on holiday somewhere I walked into a shop to admire an item. The saleswoman promptly remarked:" Get your husband to come in with his cheque book and buy it for you!" To which I replied: " I've got my own cheque book thanks and I can buy it myself if I want to!" And no I didn't bother!

SirChenjin Sat 04-Jan-20 13:08:57

I remember my mum telling me how impressed she was with my “man’s salary” shock. I had to tell her that NHS salary scales didn’t differentiate on the grounds of sex.

nipsmum Sat 04-Jan-20 12:57:16

I was told by the Matron in the local cottage hospital that she couldn't give me a job because my husband worked in the oil industry and as I was new in the town there was no one to look after my children if they had to be sent home from school. My daughters were 13 and 9.in 1989 I got a job in the local nursing home instead and never had to miss work because my children were I'll. I also had a boss in 1997 that told me he had to pay a male staff nurse more than the female staff nurses because he had a wife and children. The females were all keeping husbands and homes with children. Hopefully that has changed now with the equality act.

aonk Sat 04-Jan-20 12:27:57

A few months ago I had an eye test in my local branch of Vision Express. I stayed on to look at new frames. I told the manager that I liked a particular pair. He said “ yes they do suit you but I don’t expect you’ll decide today as Mr K isn’t here.” I immediately ordered the frames and paid in full! Later my DH said that he was a good salesman!

Annanan Sat 04-Jan-20 11:42:33

I had to pretend I was engaged and had a date for my wedding.

trisher Sat 04-Jan-20 11:39:54

You were lucky okimerenow when I was doing some supply teaching in 1975 I went into the school in a trouser suit one day (it was a very nice dark blue one) and the deputy head was very worried because the head didn't let staff wear trousers. There was a long discussion and the head decided that instead of sending me home I could sit in the staff room and take groups whlst she supervised the class but she would not allow trousers in the classroom.
When we were sent out on teaching practice we were inspected to make sure our skirts weren't too short and given all sorts of warnings about what not to do, like not sit down in the staff room until everyone was in. One head refused someone as a student because her make up was too strong "and she frightened the children"!!!

okimherenow Sat 04-Jan-20 11:25:46

My first teaching job had a strict dress code no trousers.
This changed in the 70s when we were very graciously allowed to wear a "nice trouser suit"..

okimherenow Sat 04-Jan-20 11:19:39

As a full time teacher late 60s I wanted to buy a new washing machine from local coop on HP.
Was told I needed my husbands signature on the contract. Well...
Outraged I protested and was finally allowed to sign the agreement on my own BECAUSE I WAS A TEACHER..

Americanpie Sat 04-Jan-20 11:19:06

Things haven't changed that much in the car showrooms of Scotland. We went last year to a big dealership and the older than me, salesman greeted my husband and ignored me completely. My husband and I walked out after telling him how rude he was. His loss of sales bonus went to another dealer and we were greeted with open arms. He was much younger!

TerryM Sat 04-Jan-20 11:11:12

With my first husband applying for a mortgage in the early 80s. They would only take 75% of my wage as I was female ! I was the main earner in the household
Second husband and I again on a mortgage . We had a call back from the bank asking why I had said I was married when I had a different surname !. This was in 2007. I was stunned.

chattykathy Sat 04-Jan-20 11:09:02

In the mid 1970s the Headmaster of the school in which I worked said that the female teachers couldn't wear trousers! I ignored him and wore them anyway. Guess what, he didn't say a word because he knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. He was heard to mutter I was one of those union types grin

Chewbacca Sat 04-Jan-20 11:03:23

That's just reminded me janetashbolt; when I went to work for a bank in early 1970s, I was told that female staff were not allowed to wear trousers at all; only dresses or skirts. It was whilst I was working there that I was first sexually assaulted by a senior manager.

Happygirl79 Sat 04-Jan-20 11:03:04

I forgot to mention that in the early 70s I contacted my tax office as I knew I was owed a tax rebate only to be told that since I was married and my husbands chattel they needed to be sure he didn't owe them any money before releasing my tax rebate to me! This was the law in the early 70s!
P. S. I got the tax refund in the end

Janetashbolt Sat 04-Jan-20 10:57:29

My first job in 1972 women could only wear trousers if part of a tailored suit

Happygirl79 Sat 04-Jan-20 10:57:28

In the 70s I wanted to buy a new washing machine and asked for credit to be told to come back with my husband. Even after pointing out that I earned twice as much as my husband did the salesman would not relent. I walked out of the shop and didn't return
In the late 70s I took a position as sales manager on a new housing development. Within a week I was accosted by a man asking why I had taken a man's job!
I later became the first female financial advisor for a well known insurance organisation
The men openly took bets as to how long I would last in the job
I outlasted most of them and did very well
I realised very early on in my life that men were getting paid a lot more than women in certain careers so tailored my career choices to jobs offering equality of earnings
I could go on and on but I would be here all day
My daughter is aghast when I mention these things
Things have improved so much for women today and yet there's room for improvement

curlilox Sat 04-Jan-20 10:53:16

Back in 1970 when I went up to a girls high school, when I asked about continuing my trumpet lessons, I was told by my headmistress that it was "unladylike" to play the trumpet!

inishowen Sat 04-Jan-20 10:52:07

I had a serious car accident aged 20. I was off work for six weeks then my boss turned up at my home with my typewriter and asked me to do some typing. I was nowhere near well enough but agreed. A few days later it was suggested that another colleague could collect me from home and drive me to work. Again I agreed. This lasted a week then I was expected to get myself to work on the bus. I could barely walk. Being the only female in the office it was a given that I made the tea for the men and carried it up three flights of stairs. I waited for one of them to offer help but in the end took over that job , struggling upstairs with a tray. Looking back those men were a disgrace. They turned a blind eye to my injuries. I was too young to stand up for myself.

Chewbacca Sat 04-Jan-20 10:51:46

1979, at an interview for a job, I was asked how long I'd been married and if I had children. I replied that I'd been married 5 years and had no children. At the end of the interview I was told that I wouldn't be offered the job because it was "obvious you'll be starting a family soon and will go on maternity leave". It was another 6 years before I started a family.

Molly10 Sat 04-Jan-20 10:44:58

I can recall when some pubs still didn't allow woman in the bar only the lounge.

I also recall woman/girls used to wait for a group of friends before entering a pub never meeting inside a pub. Very different now and it's not unusual to see a lone woman having a spot of lunch in a pub.

Oh and the looks when girls walked through the bar to get to the lounge.

Yes times have definitely changed and there are some shockers above.

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Grammaretto Fri 03-Jan-20 15:51:13

I agree Kalu they are /were their own worst enemies but my MiL who is in her mid 90s wouldn't really expect her DH to cook. It was her domain and she was and is, proud of her skills.
I have only ever known FiL to open a tin of beans and beer. He is in charge of the drinks, she would never open a bottle of wine.
I'll bet there are plenty on here who have "his" and "her" jobs in the house and the garden. Maybe our DC not so much but we'll have to wait and see what our DGC expect.
4yr old DGD says she doesn't want children!

Kalu Fri 03-Jan-20 15:34:11

Never lets him in the kitchen!!!! Beggars belief Grammaretto. I could only listen in amazement whenever I heard these martyrs. Similarly, chatting to a friend who had to get going to the fishmonger as her DH liked to have fish on a Tuesday, every Tuesday? I had to bite my lip and not ask what she would like for dinner on Tuesdays?.

Some really are their own worst enemies.

Since retirement DH has taken over all cooking now, woohoo? Suits me after Having to think up meals for over forty years.

I had the same experience upon getting married in 1974, regardless of the fact I was having to close my account under my maiden name.sheesh.

Grammaretto Fri 03-Jan-20 15:31:39

Did you choose that uni? Jura?
I hope not and told them why.

I was asked to give up one job because a man needed it more! I did too.

jura2 Fri 03-Jan-20 15:18:52

When I applied to go to Uni, aged 29, and with 2 children at school, the Senior Lecturer who interviewed me said 'surely your OH has enough on his plate without you coming to play at being a student' - OH was even more furious than me.