feeling judged by a supposed non judgemental organisation

I have always worked and need the over time and am happy to do it. Never claimed benefits in over 25 yrs.
I have no interest to name and shame as that is unfair to the rest of the organisation.
@PamelaJ1 @grannygranby @oldglimmer1 @starbird @sarahellenwhitney @BlueBelle @harrigran @grannytotwins it was deiberatly shared on public social media so that the people I had collected it from could see I had passed it on as promised never expected a comeback from a charitable organisation for it, but the posts did state it was stuff I had collected.
@molly10 nothing exciting but some tins packets and bread in the freezer thanks
@quizqueen a car might seem like a luxury but living rural as I do it is an essential, today I had an MRI and was a 98 mile round trip to the hospital, got my expenses back but could not do it on public transport. My "local job centre" is only 12 miles away but 2 buses and 2 hours away the route the buses go and is dearer than the car. and when I am working start work at 8am on a Sunday with the first bus leaving here at 9am and is 2 buses away. As for my internet I am only 12 months into an 18 month contract and also have to have internet to communicate with the job centre.
@oldglimmer1 not seen a work coach yet apart from my original appointment
Thank you all for your comments.

Me too, Purplepoppies. Some of the comments on this thread are making me very sad for the way this country is going. Even worse, the people making them obviously see themselves as charitable and righteous. Judge not, lest ye also be judged, and all that.

grannytotwins surely this family you describe have been referred to the food bank you volunteer for? I'm slightly uncomfortable that you are writing about them on here in a defamatory manner tbh. Nobody really knows what happens inside others houses, do they? I would hate to be judged in such a way.

That's disgraceful. You obviously fulfil the criteria for receiving help. How dare some jumped up, small minded person decide you are not worthy? So you gave things to charity. Are we to return to the days when we have to sell everything we were deemed to 'not need' before we can receive help?

I have a friend who gives his time to the CAB. They also give out food bank vouchers.
He says that they have to take the applicants word for needing the vouchers. They have no way of checking if someone has already had vouchers.
I’m sure that there are those that abuse the system, there usually is, but if that means that those who really is desperate gets help then the price has to be paid.

I don’t use social media, except for this site where I hope I am anonymous. I cannot understand why anyone would open up their lives to all and sundry.

@sarahellen I think it was bbc2. About 8pm I think.

Wasn't worth watching imho. I think they've dated really badly.

oldgimmer1
What channel showed M&W?Went to bed with tablet, no not the sort you swallow. Disappointing xmas tv

Has to be a moral in this, avoid social media.

Yes, I suspect that a lot of tales of how people take advantage of food banks are, erm, exaggerated.

I wonder why there were any hampers left at 10.00pm on Christmas Eve. If I had donated to one, I'd be pretty annoyed to think that someone had decided not to distribute them all on the grounds that some of the intended recipients weren't needy enough.

Actually, doodledog has a point. Most (but probably not all) food banks require vouchers to verify the need and also the person's identity.

I think the behaviour of the Charity was pretty good, under the circumstances. The CEO contacted the OP at 10pm on Christmas Eve to apologise in person AND to offer her a hamper, which the OP decided against as she did not want to drive to collect it.

Most organisations would say "stuff you" and refer you to their complaints procedure. Especially on Christmas Eve, when, let's face it, most workers are tucked up with Morecambe and Wise.

Apologies for my misspelling and grammar I should have reread before posting.

This is very sad pooohbear. The person of responsibility in the charity who did this to you should be ashamed of there behaviour.

Just because someone is in need of a little help at a difficult time does not mean that they do not have a good heart and can give themselves.

Have you got enough food to see you through at this stage?

You can't just 'decide to go to the foodbank'. You have to be referred by a GP or social worker, or the DWP, and this only happens if you are in need.

Horrible experience for you, and a badly handled situation from the charity. I hope you did have some goodies for the holiday; also that your work situation sorts out before too long. This in no way excuses your upsetting experience, but there are people, sadly, who decide to go to the food bank instead of the supermarket. When I was employed in the public sector there were a couple of people openly saying they would get all their basic stuff from the foodbank, and clearly thought they were 'clever'. They had the whistle blown on them and one I heard got shown up in front of a queue when she tried it the next time; as ever the few cheats often make charities suspicious of all.

Poohbear2811, like many others have said, I'm so sorry that you had this difficult experience. Yet in spite of how hurt you felt I admire the way you recounted it, without naming anyone nor fluffing it up with melodrama. The mark of a great heart!

I am saddened and shocked by that sort of behaviour pooohbear2811, and yet not so surprised these days.

Your sad tale reminds me of a scene from the J.B. Priestley play "An Inspector Calls" - where the rich and well-heeled ladies dispense the charitable handouts or not, dependent on their myopic view of the "worthiness" of the young lady who was in need.

Sometimes I just despair for the future of this country - aided and abetted by recent events we are becoming ever more judgemental.

I can only wish you a speedy recovery and hope that it does work out well for you in the end.

starboard many of those cars are on PCP lease deals. They're seen as a cheap way of getting a newish car at a low monthly price.

It's not a sound choice financially but hey ho...

PS: pooohbear2811 I hope you will be able to return to work soon, but it must be hard to have to rely on overtime.

Refusing to help is one thing but repeatedly promising and lying is contemptible and cruel.
There should be a Trustpilot for charities. They could have left you with nothing.
I had housing problems after being hospitalisee with depression and was made to feel worse by a smug volunteer. They can be wonderful but all too often are doing it for the wrong reason. Terms like 'do gooder' or 'white lady bountiful' don't arise out of nowhere.

I am surprised at the number of people who have open social media - on my fb page you see nothing unless you are a friend and you are only a friend if I know you.

The charity’s behaviour in not speaking to you was definitely wrong, but it sounds as though someone who knows you ( an acquaintance or neighbour) might have put the idea into their head which made them check.

Some people in smart cars might have just changed jobs - they could have started a new job and be waiting for payday, so have managed to hang onto their car ( or it could be a fleet car that goes with the new job).

Our local food bank instructs volunteers not to judge people - we can never know the full story from outside appearances, but it is sometimes hard not to!

@dublin: I'm not sure what you mean about my comment on "maximising income"? I certainly meant no offence.

I'm not going to disclose where I work on a public forum but in my neck of the woods, maximising income is part and parcel of claiming UC. That could include offering budgeting skills, ensuring that a claimant is aware of any additional benefits entitlement, charity assistance, and localised help (such as food banks).

Quite unexpectedly my daughter received a package from a charity because her daughter is a young carer and they are living on a low income. There were a number of things in the package that she would never use so she either wrapped them up as Christmas presents or donated them back to charity. She could have popped the things in the cupboard and forgotten about them but giving them away didn't make her any less broke!

I do think that the charity behaved quite badly, if they had doubts, surely they could have contacted you to ask about your current circumstances fully before making a decision?
Again though, it's a minority of people creating problems for those who need some support.
In my area there's a warehouse that sells furniture very cheaply to those in receipt of benefits and it is, very good quality. People will go with a friend 'on benefits' to get items and then sell them on.

@jo I agree with your summing-up of some workers in the charity sector. There are many who volunteer simply to make themselves feel better, this being achieved by lauding it over others who are "not so fortunate as themselves". .

Bluebelle - many people offload items such as those you found in your bin as they have neither the means or the motivation to cook them.

@oldgimmerl. I mostly agree with your response on the food package situation, but a bit perturbed about your comment on the “Work Coach”, at Jobcentre & “maximising your income”? Do you work for DWP? Rather a patronising & presumptuous comment on someone you don’t know.