Christmas ....meh....for some of us

Thanks maw

we were lucky, 45 years and lovely memories

5th christmas and the first time I have been able to face carols from kings. I am embracing it this season and thankful for my new home and my relatively good health, being warm, having enough to eat.

When I went out with my walking group pre-Christmas quite a few of us agreed that we weren't keen on all the festivities. Mostly because we had been through some difficult circumstances and it was just "not the same." A few years have passed and although I can't say I really enjoy it, I feel much better about it than I did. As my son said "it's not the same when you grow up!" I agree.

What a good line SirChenjin

Christmas isn’t compulsory?

Too peaceful! Just DH and I. Tomorrow we are invited to my daughter’s but he will only agree to go between meals.

This is a lovely thread and thanks for starting it inkcog My take on it is this - feel the way you want to feel, whether that’s meh, with a brave smile plastered on, having a damn good cry, happy, sad or anything in between. Christmas isn’t compulsory and anything goes, so enjoy or don’t enjoy it and go with the flow. For those who have chosen to mark it, I hope you’re having a peaceful and lovely time ?

Gosh, I’m in tears reading this. Those who are able to enjoy it, please do, and for others well, things will soon be back to “normal”.

Well done folks for sharing. Sorry if that sounds patronising or foolish. There is so much pressure, sometimes just writing it down can help.

Irene, you mention an unhappy childhood. Me too, it rears its' ugly head sometimes.

Hugs ? tiger grove. As you say .. it comes.. it goes. You get through it xx

Yes agree with all. I am feeling a mixture this year (mum was very ill last Christmas and died early Jan). Really didn’t want to do anything! All my kids were sorted, hubby working. Thought I would just have a quiet one. But was accused of being Christmas grinch so have been “ordered” to join in the fun at one daughter’s house! I will go, make the most of it and as you say MAW - REMEMBER all the fabulous Christmases I had with mum and dad both growing up and as an adult. I am so lucky.

Peace and love to you all x

This is one of the saddest days of the year for me. It’s my late husband’s birthday and my wedding anniversary. We thought we were so clever choosing this date, of course, never thinking that one day it would come to haunt me. 64 years ago at this time I was getting ready for my wedding. My one thought is tomorrow will be better and I will have another 12 months before it comes round again.

Christmas is usually meh for me. I'm not a fan. But with the birth of darling grandson, it is much, much lovelier. He will be little for what will feel like 5 minutes so I am trying to make the most of him.

I lost my dear husband to MND in mid December nine years ago. I am grateful that we had 30 happy years together.
I always raise a glass to 'absent friends' at lunch time and try to be grateful for what I have.

I have a little saying from Dr Seuss, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

It is a sad time for such a lot of people at this time of year but as MawB has said we must remember the happy times. We always used to go to Mum and Dad's for Christmas and I miss them. My DD1 and DGC1 are due to arrive shortly, DD2 - no.

A Happy and Peaceful Christmas to you all

As we get older, it’s inevitable that there are people we miss at Christmas. I remember my father in law, with great affection, not liking the festivities at all, but putting a brave face on it. My grandparents, who never stopped remarking on how spoilt the children were, two very dear friends, always the life and soul of our Boxing Day parties, I could go on.

I heard some terribly sad news yesterday from a friend, I can’t stop thinking about it, but it just makes me more determined to enjoy things while I can

Happy Christmas to you all?

I'm not a huge fan of Christmas ( no specific reason) but will make a special effort tomorrow at our family meal as it might be the last one we have Mum with us. She has Alzheimer's and has also just been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Lovely thread inkcog thank you. This is the only place I have joined, ever, online. It’s amazing.

I always find Xmas a sad time of year these days ...for a variety of reasons. But I know I have blessings and I do a lot of counting!

It’s nearly 2 years since DH died. His brother just 3 weeks before. That’s when he started to really fail. His heart was broken.I miss them both terribly but Christmas has always been a bit off for me anyway.
Unhappy, abusive childhood. Another story. But it stays with me.
I have saved jobs up for today. Bought new bedding to put on. Cheese selection for tea and cats to cuddle.
Stepson is calling Boxing Day with the GC. As soon as they have opened their presents they whine to go to the other Grannies for dinner. And to ride the ponies and quad bikes ! I can’t compete with it all. But at least I will see them.
I feel a bit sorry for myself if I’m honest even though I’ve a lot to be grateful for. It’s worse at Christmas.
So, I am thinking about folks at this time who are unhappy and say extra prayers tonight.
???

I think most people have a moment of sadness at Christmas. I would have loved my parents to meet my DGDs . Butas Maw says we can smile at the very many happy memories and anticipate those to come

I am aware that lots of you can struggle at this time of year and I give thanks (not sure to whom) that we are still all together. We have had desperately unhappy times at Christmas but nothing like some of you are experiencing.

I've just seen a fundraising post from DD2's friend who has MND (aged 38). It is such an uplifting post from a lovely young man but one wonders if he will be here next year and how poignant for his lovely parents, young wife and all his friends this year will be.

What a kind thought inkcog

It must be so difficult to escape what will be a sad day for those recalling happier times with loved ones.

A day when, seemingly, everyone else is having such a happy time but you are dealing with troubles and illness.

My heartfelt best wishes to those who are not in such a good place at this time of year ?

My heart isn't in it but I slap a big smile on my face for the family. I count my blessings, too, every Christmas, and try my best. I'm thinking of you all and sending love. XX

My D made me cry this morning, she got the memories of last Christmas Eve up on her Facebook page.
She and my GD went to see my H in his care home and stayed for the party.
The photographs of him looking so happy with both of them and enjoying the entertainment made us both weep.
We didn’t know then that he had cancer which would take him from us just a few months later.
I can’t get into Christmas at all this year and send my very best wishes to everyone feeling the same.

Thank you for your words MawB and Sunseeker lots of people are sad at this time of year. Some have more reasons to feel this way than others, some are better off and some are worse off than us, but it's still an emotional time. Merry Christmas!

I agree MawB - I have been alone for 8 years now - every Christmas morning I cry because he is no longer with me, but then remember all the times he made me laugh, remember his wonderful chuckle which could always make me smile no matter how annoyed I was with him.

I prefer to think how lucky I was to have him with me for over 40 years.