Christmas card sadness

Yes, I can commiserate with many of the posters here. I too, keep a Christmas Card book and year by year have to cross out those who are no longer with us. This year, I had a message from the wife of my old Manager from the Company I worked at for 27 years, saying that he is now in a Nursing Home, and she is moving from their old address in the new year.
Today, I saw two old friends I hadn't seen in quite a while, in the Restaurant where we went for lunch, only to discover that the lady now has dementia and doesn't remember us, and her husband is now profoundly deaf. So very sad, but at least I got to wish her a Happy Birthday (the reason for the outing) and to say "Merry Christmas" to her husband, who can at least follow that short phrase.

I felt so sad when I got out the Christmas card list that I nearly didn't send any at all.

It is one thing I find having to cross out the names of those who have died since last year, but what I find even more difficult is knowing what to do about those I no longer hearfrom.

Do I assume they are alive and well and send a card, or do I assume that no-one has bothered to inform me of a death?

We have moved, so there are a lot of people I no longer see, so when the emails stop I am in a quandary.

bellanonna

Most of my friends were younger than me so my list has dwindled considerably.
I have a book in which I have for years written a list of names and addresses of people to whom I have sent cards and presents and tick of those from whom I have received cards. So often have I not received cards back so presume they have died.
This book also has bank account numbers etc. and relevant information for my son when I die.

Emilie wow that’s a very harsh post, glad you are not on my Christmas card list, hugs for all the posters that are hurting

Floradora9, I do that....... put up nice cards from previous years. And I also put one up that Mummy painted......even though my parents have both been dead for many years.

Yes it is always a sharp reminder at this time of year. Our address book is many years old, and it is awful seeing just how many have died over the years. I have only one set of aunt and uncle left, from the many, many that I once had. This however, is not nearly so bad as it is for those of you who have lost spouses in this last year, and I send you my heartfelt sympathy.

I think emilie possibly lives under a Nordic bridge. Sorry to be obscure but I gather I’m not allowed to say more than that.

For goodness sake grow up.Be realistic;people do not live for ever

Pots and kettles (about growing up)

I've only sent two cards this year....everyone else has died!

It's even worse having to write just your own name, because your husband has died. Even after 13 years it still doesn't seem right, I've had to screw up a few cards because I've included his without thinking.
So just be glad that your husband is still alive and with you, give him a big hug and tell him how much you love him.

I totally understand how you feel urmstrongran Christmas carols set me off in the same way. I saw some children singing (out of tune and beat but very sweet and enthusiastic) at the village centre the day before yesterday and it made me tear up thinking of all those who won’t be here this Christmas that the family have lost over the years.

Emilie!! I am shocked at your lack of care/ concern.
Flowers and hugs for all those who are hurting.

I sympathise, Doodle. I wrote my cards in October, as I was going to Australia in November, and left them with my daughter. Since then a lovely couple I know has died with three weeks of each other. Luckily I saw the news on Facebook. Double luckily my daughter had not yet posted their Christmas card. I was able to ask her to send a sympathy card instead, but I expect that their family will receive many cards from people who haven’t heard the sad news.
Planning ahead for my own demise I have a list, for my family, of names and addresses/phone numbers/ email addresses of everyone who will need notifying when I ‘pop my clogs.’ Sadly, that list has quite a few names crossed off too.

That doesn't mean we can't mourn the loss.
Perhaps you could take your own advice re: growing up.

For goodness sake grow up.Be realistic;people do not live for ever.

Condolences to you * Molly*.
It is a sad, reflective time Urmston. This Christmas is the first with out my husband's parents and it is very hard. DH went to his cousin's funeral yesterday, he was a teacher and many of his former pupils have posted how he had always made time for them.
We had our post just an hour ago. There was a card from an old friend of DH's from his batchelor days, he said that his wife had died two years ago but that he had been in an awful state following her death. He apologised for not letting us know, bless him. I still feel awful for sending a card addressed to them both though, including this year's just last week.

? for everyone on here. So many sadnesses to bear.

I was feeling just the same as I was doing mine,lost my DH earlier this year and spent a lot of time in tears having to write this in,and as someone said receiving cards addressed to both of us,and yesterday was our 32'nd wedding anniversary so roll on 2020.

Yes, can you think of the joy you are spreading? I know it is hard.

I've just written a card for friends who's brother has just died, but they have young children and still have to try and celebrate Christmas. So the Christmas card I bought is a thinking of you at Christmas card. With lovely caring words inside.

That is heartbreaking Molly, I feel for you. I hope you can find peace at her funeral and beyond.

Yes, I think time of year always emphasises others who are less lucky than I am. I know I found it hard to send cards from just myself after my husband left me.

I have still to write my cards this year. I want to reduce the number I give out and donate to a charity instead. I will still post a few to very close friends who don't live near me but who I still visit.

My mum now cannot write her own cards due to Alzheimers and I will send cards to some of our family to update them as I know they care about her but it's sad to have to add her name to my cards.

Molly10, awfully sorry, condolences to you. Hard enough at anytime of year, but at this time of year even more difficult.