Sign of the times? No one offered me a seat.

Harris27
Its 'nit' a sign 'if' the times?
Have you been watching too much 'allo allo'

I’m glad, after reading this to use my wheelchair. At least I get a seat that way.

Don’t forget that 60 is “old”!to most young people.I always accept if someone offers a seat as it seems churlish to refuse.

Plenty of young people have hidden disabilities. You can ask people if they are able to stand if you are not. But the less able arent necessarly the older travellers.

Well we trained the generation down, so our children trained the next one down, so who failed? Lots of elderly people are exceedingly unpleasant and entitled. How can it be remedied? My daughter is a train guard, when connections are going to be tight she announces for disembarking passengers to give a hand to those less able to help and because often it will be a crowded train they are embarking on to they may have to be friendly and talk to each other. It works and she often wins plaudits. Sometimes a pleasant nudge works.

Daddima, the first time DH was offered a seat (and I was offered one too) was on a tram in Prague. We refused, politely and with thanks, because, as we explained, we are both short and we wanted to see as much out of the windows as we could. Our Czech is nonexistent, but fortunately the young people understood and we all ended up on good terms. We have both been offered seats in this country too, it must be said.

When in France, I was very taken by the courtesy of the young. I walk with a stick and, on Metro or mainline trains, was always offered a seat. Not sure it would happen here... I have a rather cross memory, from 35 years ago, of being massively pregnant on a very crowded bus. No-one offered me a seat till a kind foreign guy called me all the way to the back to take his place. I was so grateful.

OK, it shouldn't rankle still but, when I was young and fit and not 9 months pregnant, I would never sit if someone needed a seat. Made my kids stand for people too.

There's a big difference between giving your seat up on a tube or a bus, and doing the same on an overland train journey from King's Cross to Cambridge. Why would anyone want to do that - it's a long journey whereas bus and tubes are much shorter and there's so much getting on and getting off that seats do become available. I'm 70 and regularly use the tubes, buses, DLR and overland trains in London. I myself have given up a tube seat to a pregnant woman, and equally have been offered a seat by someone else. I always take it if offered, but if not I make a point of not looking around the carriage disapprovingly at those who choose to keep their seats. If, however, I were on a train journey going some distance and had paid the fare, I would never dream of standing up for anyone. Funny how this all boils down to individual values - really it should be a matter of public transport systems being able to cope with demand. We tend to forget this.

Overland people may have paid extra to reserve seats. I do not believe people should give up reserved seats: they'll have had their reasons for reserving AND anyone less able on a full train will usually get a free upgrade if they let staff know anyway.

Yes, that's a good point GoldenAge.

On a train, it is usually possible to book a seat, so there is no reason why people should expect others to suffer for their convenience. It's the same principle as the one I raised earlier about not arriving until the last minute. If you want to be sure of a seat because you can't stand, then arrive ahead of time and take your place in the queue. Don't expect those who have already waited for the best part of an hour to stand aside whilst you push your way to the front.

@MamaCaz “I wonder if the fact that pensioners nowadays are travelling for free on buses makes young, full-fare-paying passengers much less willing to give up their seat?”
You could be right Mama. I know of a group of ladies who travel by bus every day, as they don’t have to pay, often just getting off one bus and straight onto another. Fair enough, but they travel on the buses where children are traveling back and forward to school, or the ones getting people to and from work. They are very vocal, about how bad mannered people are if they can’t get a seat, shaming some people who aren’t much younger than them to get up and give them their seat! IMO this is very selfish and they should have consideration for those who don’t have a choice of journey.

The English of all hues and colours, once in London seem to become inconsiderate and rude with very few exceptions from what I see. However most foreigners seem to have been far better educated in that regards and are immune to that horrible aspect of that city.

MOnica

Your post made me smile! You sound indignant to be offered a seat. Obviously I don’t know you or what you look like, you say you are 76, but I get the impression you feel you look younger, which is why you seem a bit offended.
I think many of us feel the same.?

What about the Welsh, Irish and Scots.......are they rude?

My children were always taught to stand for anyone less able to do so and now adults still do it but a few of years ago when I could still use a bus, only walking stick and hand braces then though not steady on my feet, an older lady got on the bus, it was full with school children and the driver said he wouldn’t move until someone let her sit down, no one moved, I got worried about my husband as he was due to be being bough back from the day centre so I stood myself, the stares from the children and the giggles as I was trying to stand really upset me, maybe good I’m in a wheelchair now, can take my own seat ?

I think I have become invisible to young people. As I go towards a door of a shop, a young person, usually young women, go ahead of me.

Oh no, I am not remotely indignant, but I have aged well and I am phsically fit. It is just when so many people say they never get offered a seat, I am saying that, despite not looking particularly elderly, or frail and unfit, where I live, and on the tube in London, my experience is that people do offer older people seats on public transport.

It is common politeness not especially an age thing.
I was travelling to Cambridge from Ely a few weeks ago, the train was packed I thought I would have to stand for the few stops, but no, a nice young lady immediately gave up her seat,I was really thrilled, some people still have manners.

4allweknow - you wouldn't offer a seat to a pregnant woman? What kind of person are you, for heaven's sake?

4allweknow, I do hope you never suffer from a hidden disability. There are a lot of people around whose disability is not obvious to others

As for your silly remarks about women. I have in the past happily offered, and would still offer, a seat to man where it is clear that he needs a seat more than I do. That has included men who were clearly not well, fathers with young children and, once, a man trying to stand on a bumpy tube while carrying a very large heavy manual typewriter.

As far as I am concerned, gender doesn't come into it, it is whether the person, clearly needs a seat more than I do. A heavily pregnant woman needs a seat. Try walking around and using public transport with 2 stones of baby and gubbins strapped to your body at the front.

While I often get offered n take the seat gratefully I'd always offer it to an older/frail person.
Lack of manners really annoys me. It's thoughtful and considerate.
Yes, many disabilities are hidden but too many rude people about. Parents with children??? Taking many seats. Not toddlers either.
Our son would offer his seatnplys open doors. He has seen us do so, learned at school also (the door thing). Dh has asked him to open car door for me, take shopping and I've drilled it in to him that some girls might dismiss such manners but they love being treated well too. It works both ways of course. I'd hold a door open for anyone. Always thank the holder too

Meant 'good manners' are thoughtful n considerate

I am 69 and very able bodied , and I give up my seat if necessary to anyone who looks to need it. As would my son, my daughter ..... and recently my 12 year old grandson , when I was with him on a bus. One nod from me was enough to remind him of his manners! We all need reminding of our manners.... I have no compunction in doing it!

The older gentlemen still hold the door open, give up seats, even stand up when a lady approaches the table. I used to know such a gent when I was much younger but I still accepted/refused with a smile and a thank you. Nowadays a lot of women scorn such old fashioned manners, so a man is no longer sure his actions will be appreciated.

The Chinese students on the bus that serves the university usually offer me a seat but several times I have found a young person sitting on one of the front seats that have a priority sign for the elderly but sitting on the outside of the seat so no access to the window seat. And seemingly oblivious. Often the students have loads of luggage which take up seats. They usually have their ears blocked up so conversation is impossible.