Sign of the times? No one offered me a seat.

4allweknow - you wouldn't offer a seat to a pregnant woman? What kind of person are you, for heaven's sake?

It is common politeness not especially an age thing.
I was travelling to Cambridge from Ely a few weeks ago, the train was packed I thought I would have to stand for the few stops, but no, a nice young lady immediately gave up her seat,I was really thrilled, some people still have manners.

Oh no, I am not remotely indignant, but I have aged well and I am phsically fit. It is just when so many people say they never get offered a seat, I am saying that, despite not looking particularly elderly, or frail and unfit, where I live, and on the tube in London, my experience is that people do offer older people seats on public transport.

I think I have become invisible to young people. As I go towards a door of a shop, a young person, usually young women, go ahead of me.

My children were always taught to stand for anyone less able to do so and now adults still do it but a few of years ago when I could still use a bus, only walking stick and hand braces then though not steady on my feet, an older lady got on the bus, it was full with school children and the driver said he wouldn’t move until someone let her sit down, no one moved, I got worried about my husband as he was due to be being bough back from the day centre so I stood myself, the stares from the children and the giggles as I was trying to stand really upset me, maybe good I’m in a wheelchair now, can take my own seat ?

What about the Welsh, Irish and Scots.......are they rude?

MOnica

Your post made me smile! You sound indignant to be offered a seat. Obviously I don’t know you or what you look like, you say you are 76, but I get the impression you feel you look younger, which is why you seem a bit offended.
I think many of us feel the same.?

The English of all hues and colours, once in London seem to become inconsiderate and rude with very few exceptions from what I see. However most foreigners seem to have been far better educated in that regards and are immune to that horrible aspect of that city.

@MamaCaz “I wonder if the fact that pensioners nowadays are travelling for free on buses makes young, full-fare-paying passengers much less willing to give up their seat?”
You could be right Mama. I know of a group of ladies who travel by bus every day, as they don’t have to pay, often just getting off one bus and straight onto another. Fair enough, but they travel on the buses where children are traveling back and forward to school, or the ones getting people to and from work. They are very vocal, about how bad mannered people are if they can’t get a seat, shaming some people who aren’t much younger than them to get up and give them their seat! IMO this is very selfish and they should have consideration for those who don’t have a choice of journey.

Yes, that's a good point GoldenAge.

On a train, it is usually possible to book a seat, so there is no reason why people should expect others to suffer for their convenience. It's the same principle as the one I raised earlier about not arriving until the last minute. If you want to be sure of a seat because you can't stand, then arrive ahead of time and take your place in the queue. Don't expect those who have already waited for the best part of an hour to stand aside whilst you push your way to the front.

Overland people may have paid extra to reserve seats. I do not believe people should give up reserved seats: they'll have had their reasons for reserving AND anyone less able on a full train will usually get a free upgrade if they let staff know anyway.

There's a big difference between giving your seat up on a tube or a bus, and doing the same on an overland train journey from King's Cross to Cambridge. Why would anyone want to do that - it's a long journey whereas bus and tubes are much shorter and there's so much getting on and getting off that seats do become available. I'm 70 and regularly use the tubes, buses, DLR and overland trains in London. I myself have given up a tube seat to a pregnant woman, and equally have been offered a seat by someone else. I always take it if offered, but if not I make a point of not looking around the carriage disapprovingly at those who choose to keep their seats. If, however, I were on a train journey going some distance and had paid the fare, I would never dream of standing up for anyone. Funny how this all boils down to individual values - really it should be a matter of public transport systems being able to cope with demand. We tend to forget this.

When in France, I was very taken by the courtesy of the young. I walk with a stick and, on Metro or mainline trains, was always offered a seat. Not sure it would happen here... I have a rather cross memory, from 35 years ago, of being massively pregnant on a very crowded bus. No-one offered me a seat till a kind foreign guy called me all the way to the back to take his place. I was so grateful.

OK, it shouldn't rankle still but, when I was young and fit and not 9 months pregnant, I would never sit if someone needed a seat. Made my kids stand for people too.

Daddima, the first time DH was offered a seat (and I was offered one too) was on a tram in Prague. We refused, politely and with thanks, because, as we explained, we are both short and we wanted to see as much out of the windows as we could. Our Czech is nonexistent, but fortunately the young people understood and we all ended up on good terms. We have both been offered seats in this country too, it must be said.

Well we trained the generation down, so our children trained the next one down, so who failed? Lots of elderly people are exceedingly unpleasant and entitled. How can it be remedied? My daughter is a train guard, when connections are going to be tight she announces for disembarking passengers to give a hand to those less able to help and because often it will be a crowded train they are embarking on to they may have to be friendly and talk to each other. It works and she often wins plaudits. Sometimes a pleasant nudge works.

Plenty of young people have hidden disabilities. You can ask people if they are able to stand if you are not. But the less able arent necessarly the older travellers.

Don’t forget that 60 is “old”!to most young people.I always accept if someone offers a seat as it seems churlish to refuse.

I’m glad, after reading this to use my wheelchair. At least I get a seat that way.

Harris27
Its 'nit' a sign 'if' the times?
Have you been watching too much 'allo allo'

If someone offered me a seat and I was struggling I might borrow it but I'd offer it back after a while. Often people who give up their seats, could do with a rest too. Because someone is polite and considerate, doesn't mean they are always extremely fit themselves. Its seems unfair for some to be standing endlessly while others are sitting happily, so perhaps sharing more is a better and fairer idea.

For those of you worried about my coat- I had a shopping bag with 2 calendars in it. That went down first. My bottom was quite comfy.
4allweknow, Greta and I are so alike!

When I was young I was always being offered a seat on public transport. Mainly from men, to be fair

Not been on public transport for many a year so no idea who I'd fare today.

Not quite as well, probably

A friend who is living in the Czech Republic tells me the levels of courtesy & general generosity to others is remarkably higher there than in Britain. I have had young men ( I'm a semi- disabled 76 - year -old) abuse me verbally in car parks, outside my house as I unloaded my car ( it's a single track road) push me to one side in super markets and show such disrespect to a Granny that I'm rendered speechless. I KNOW my own sons would never behave like this to the elderly, so what's gone wrong with our formerly considerate society?

No, I do not think it a sign of the times. Back in 1971 when I was heavily pregnant no-one ever offered me s eat.

A year earlier, approximately, and unpregnant, I suddenly developed a very bad nose bleed on the tube. Blood was pouring all over me and my clothing. No one even offered me a hankie or tissue or did anything to help me. I stayed on the train until I reached Waterloo, went up the escaltor and found the First Aid room for myself.

I find I now often get offered a seat, despite having dark hair and eye brows to match. My face is not lined and I am not overweight. I am 76.

This is an article in The Week Magazine. ‘Millennials are developing their own rules of etiquette: 42% wouldn’t give up their seat on a bus or train to an elderly or pregnant person, 28% day its acceptable to jump a queue ...... However 34% think ghosting on social media is rude and 20% think it’s bad manners to share TV spoilers’. Not sure what to make of these statistics. Looks like the majority of millennials have good manners.