Who chooses new curtains etc?

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Spot the colourful feature wall!

The biggest problem is art, especially maritime art. We have three pictures waiting to be found space and one, I am quietly trying to 'lose'
My husband has his music room (The small bedroom in our 3 bedroom semi). It would probably go here.
Sometimes objections can be valid, and I do listen. I'm not unreasonable. eg a strong feature wall would make the living room look smaller, chrome wouldn't match the floor lamp...
But the last curtains we bought he said the material looked like it would pluck easily. I bought them anyway, I told him I was paying for them. For some reason this made him accept my choice. And please don't think he's mean. He just bought me a new foldup bicycle even though I told him I may not use it (health probs)

The thing is he says he doesn't care and given the choice he would never replace anything unless it broke, just like Springychicken's OH. But then as soon as we have to buy he wants to have the last word. I do all the research for everything just like Sillygrandma, visiting shops and searching online which is very tiring and make a shortlist of ones I like which he might like.
But I have to compromise so much. I never get to buy anything I really like. There's always some reason not to. The detail on the brass isn't as fine as the one we have (what does that even mean?) Antique brass is too dark a contrast with the ceiling.
Yesterday a Christmas doormat a doormat OH "plastic backing, it holds the rain too much....not having that". This morning I looked at the one we already have, and it is has a backing.
Hall is yellow and kitchen is terracotta, his choice, not what I wanted. I wanted a feature wall in the living room. Spot the feature wall.
Sometimes his taste is nice, but like Sillygrandma, I feel a little bit controlled, although her OH sounds much more so.
He is rarely enthusiastic about any of my choices, I actually feel sick sometimes when I am choosing things now. There is no pleasure in it. When I was on my own I enjoyed shopping.

Listening to everyone, the conclusion seems to be some husbands like to be consulted and have a say, and that should be considered.
I think I need to do the research, present a list of what I really like and insist that he chooses one of them and doesn't reject them all, unless he gives me a valid reason for doing so. And then does some research himself.
And sometimes I am just going to bring some things home and see how he takes it. (not that we shop that often, it sounds like I'm forever buying stuff)
Sorry to moan so much, It's good to be able to talk about it.
And sorry to bring up bad memories Sillygrandma

Fortunately DH and I have the same taste.

Recently had the house redecorated and I do run any ideas etc. by DH.

On the whole, I usually make the final decision unless it is something DH really dislikes.

When I told my boyfriend I would like some new wallpaper and curtains for the lounge in the New Year, I knew just what he would reply.

"What's wrong with the ones you've got now?" His house is in a time warp.

Some people do sound rather controlling - but reading these threads, that label seems to apply to women as much as men!

DH will nearly always get involved in decisions over such purchases and yes, things can get very complicated because of it, but when these are things that he will have to look at or use as often as I do, it seems only fair that his likes and dislikes have as much sway as my own.
Admittedly, it does become very frustrating if we can't find a compromise!

I've always chosen home furnishings and just gone ahead and bought them. Never had an OH who was faintly interested in such things.

Smaller items like curtains me, but larger and expensive items we choose together.

I'll stick with being a dictator here. After all, it's my house so I'll choose what I want (never was much good with compromise anyway - it just means nobody gets what they really like).

DH and I are very alike in our preference for decor and furnishings, he usually says if I like it then it will be fine. I got to choose the whole house makeover but accepted his input on practical things like plumbing and electricals.

OH will come shopping now he is retired but acknowledges that his colour sense is hopeless!
He says he doesn't know why I ask his opinion because I always choose what I like anyway.
He does tend to buy pictures though and our tastes are not the same there either.

OH always been far too busy- and very happy for me to choose.

In my opinion my DH had far too much say at the beginning of our marriage about what we bought; it was never my choice and if DH didn't like it we didn't have it. (This was in things like choice of colours, styles, designs etc for furnishings, paint and so on.) But items like electricals we made joint decisions.

Gradually things changed so that we made more joint decisions about everything, and eventually it became about 75% my choice! I always gave him a few options, but he would then say "if you're happy, I'm happy".

Thanks everyone. I'll get back after appointment.....

Who do you think chooses?! I do, of course.

We do it together and sometimes we go with DH’s choice eg new sofas and sometimes mine eg new light fittings. I am very pleased with the result!

Depends what it is. I had to insist on the cooker of my choice last year when we had to replace the previous one.

With things like curtains my technique is to present four or five options which I really like & which I’ve researched online. This is win-win as it means MrA doesn’t have to go shopping which he loathes, and I get something I like.

The killer is paint colour for walls. We go through a rigmarole which can take up to 3 months as we try out about 10 different taster pots in various lighting conditions before finally choosing one.
The last time we did this, after the process was almost exhausted, we happened to go to DD’s & decided we would have the very nice colour she had on her walls

Generally I choose but consult my husband and would not buy something if he really disliked it. I tend to look at the aesthetics of furniture etc but my husband will check it over and decide if its well made and fit for purpose. Works for us.
Our house is in the middle of the village and people pass close by so I have net curtains for privacy. My husband hates them with a vengeance..

I’ve always done most of the decor choosing, the kitchen choosing. Last time I bought a new hoover DH had his say but it hasn’t turned out too well!

I usually defer on car and fishing purchases as I have little interest in either.

I’d really like (in my dreams) someone who enjoyed choosing household stuff together but it is not to be.

We bought new curtains for our bedroom recently and looked at many, many. It’s usually a joint decision, but he defers to the fact that I have a “good eye” for these things. However, he was so very taken with a particular fabric that I didn’t care for that we bought them on the understanding that if we got them home and they didn’t suit the room, as long as they went back into the packaging properly, we could return them for a refund. In fact, they were lovely; a very good match for the paintwork. So much for my “good eye”. If I had said I really didn’t like them, he wouldn’t have argued. He knows how to pick his battles!

We choose together.Pretty much like cornergran,wander,coffee,shop,coffee,decide!

I’m a lot more daring than he would be, but I think he’s usually happy with the results.

We choose together, luckily our taste is similar.

On the rare occasions where we really can’t agree, we take in turns to choose.

It’s usually me who starts the ball rolling by mentioning it’s time to replace something. If it was down to H, we’d probably be in a 80’s time warp.

Are your husband’s objections to your choices valid? If not, it’s time assert yourself. Give and take on both sides.

Exactly the same Kitty

We do it together. Although we often agree that my original choice was the right one.

Televisions are a different thing!

I tend to hang on to them as long as possible, because I don’t want to have to choose a new one.

We are lucky in having a brilliant family owned business in a neighbouring village, we buy what they advise, and they deliver it and set everything up. But every time it seems more complicated!