Food inspiration for an "eats nothing" child

Hurdy Gurdy, thanks for your response to the comments here and for the update on Children's Services involvement. So pleased his paternal family have made themselves known to Children's Services, it's good to be involved. Hope things improve for your grandson and for all of you

Thank you all for your lovely posts, and there are some very good suggestions which we can try. Also very interesting to read about other experiences with children and food likes/dislikes etc.

A bit of background – but I don’t want it to come across as though I have a problem with his mum, because I absolutely don’t. I think, bearing in mind that she is dealing with a challenging child on her own, 24 hours a day, she is doing the very best she can.

We meet halfway to handover at a service station. She will tell us what she’s been trying with foods and other things, so that we can continue it at our house. She’s also happy for us to try anything new whilst he’s with us, so that she can try it at home. Today, we were able to tell her about the Peppa Pig yogurt, which she was delighted about, and that we bought him a pair of wellies and went jumping up and down in muddy puddles, which she'd previously said he'd never do - so a little more progress there

We always give him a bit of everything that we have for dinner, but he will pick it up, sniff it, and nine times out of ten, just put it down again. We’ve tried dry cereal, but I think the ones we’ve tried have been too sweet. I think we'll try bran flakes next time. He’s not interested in sweet stuff – except, apparently, as mum told us today, he will occasionally eat Parma Violets! Last time we had him, we got him onto cheese straws, which he devoured. This time – not interested!

He will come to the supermarket with us, but all he wants to do is push the trolley and scan the items at the self service checkout. He can identify every fruit and vegetable going, but after the “sniff test” they have so far all been rejected.

When he has his French fries, we encourage him to “dip the chip” and he will just about let the chip touch the ketchup, but won’t dip it as such.

However, there are some issues at his home. I say we “think” there is a diagnosis of autism, because although when he was about four years old, he saw a paediatrician (my son went along to the appointment) it turns out that there is nothing on paper to say that the diagnosis was autism. Mum told my son that he is autistic, and he had no reason to disbelieve her, so we’ve always worked on the basis that he is autistic. She told him that she was discharged from the paediatrician, but has now said that no paperwork was sent, so there is nothing in writing.

Mum took him out of school 18 months ago, as she felt that the school was not meeting his needs. She is (allegedly) home schooling him.

He is still in pull-ups and won’t wee or poo on a potty or toilet. He comes to us every time with his bottom red raw, and we end up taking him to our doctor to get some cream to clear it up. He goes home with an almost cleared up bottom, and then when he’s next back . . . . there’s the “nappy” rash again.

Then there is the issue of the diet.

Anyway, she kept telling my son that she was trying to get help for their son, but that no one was doing anything. I work in Children’s Services in our area, so I knew what kind of help she would be getting if she lived here. With her agreement, I called their children’s services as a worried grandmother, as it seemed my grandson was being failed by their system.

Upshot is, she was allocated a worker from the early help team. We have now found out that she did not engage with that worker, and that worker had concerns around the little boy, the lack of engagement and the home conditions, and they have now been stepped up to social care, with an allocated social worker. My son found this out when the social worker called him to get his views on the current position.

The social worker is chasing up the referrals to the bladder and bowel team (to try and get the toileting sorted), the dietician, the Speech and Language Therapy team to try and improve his speech, and then the focus will be on trying to get him back into school.

Hopefully mum will engage with the process now and keep the appointments for the various clinics and professionals, and we can move a few steps forward with the little boy.

Sorry for the extraordinarily long post, but I thank everyone who has contributed to the thread. I'm definitely going to try a few of the suggestions - the tempura batter sounds like a great idea!

I think it’s hard for you to be involved in changing his diet seeing him so infrequently and I really think this should be led by his mum to be honest. Would she not feel that you are interring or would she be pleased for the help?

Also, has your grandson seen a specialist? I think if he’s so small it’s worth having him assessed just to check he’s growing ok etc? My friend’s son had growth problems and needed steroids to help growth.

HurdyGurdy, one of my granddaughters is pretty much the same, although she likes cucumber, blueberries and (must be black) grapes.

She has to sit at the table with us (at least, for ten minutes) - but is not required to eat. She likes to help me get the food ready. We make a selection of dishes to share. I give her something to do at the table 'to help'. (It gets her over the big hurdle of sitting for a meal) She usually eats something, but not much.

Nobody is allowed to nag her to 'eat up', in fact, sometimes, I leave little snacks around and say, jokingly, 'Don't you dare eat them, they're mine - and I've counted them'. She often 'steals' them when I'm not looking!

Recently, she's taken to hummus dipping, which helps. She also likes smoothies (but not milk) so I blast strawberries with bananas and sneak a little peanut butter in when she can't see.

I think the really important thing is that they see you enjoying your food and chatting away, while completely ignoring their fussiness as far as possible. I always make sure that there's something she likes, put near her, on the table, though.

@basicallygrace12 Your house sounds exactly like my house! 2 adult dc with ASD diagnosis they both have a sensory processing disorder and control food. My ds will only eat Heinz ketchup but thankfully over time has developed a better but still restricted diet. Tonight is cottage pie, (with hidden veggies) he loves mash but it has to be loaded with butter and milk and completely smooth. I use an ikea potato ricer but finally after 28 years he will now eat 'regular' food even a roast dinner, the list of things he won't eat is massive but so much improvement from childhood. Unless he's under stress then we're back on fries to go (microwave chips) and chicken nuggets (have to be from Aldi).

I haven't read all the posts so if anyone has already said this, I apologise for the repetition. I think the foods that some autistic children prefer are 'beige' as well as being dry. Anything colourful, wet/moist or sticky is rejected. As others have said, it can't be forced or it causes anxiety verging on panic. OP Why do you say you only think there's a diagnosis of autism? Surely your son should have been informed of any medical/psychological conditions his own son suffers from!

My grandson is 9 and has had an autism diagnosis since the age of 5. He is a tall boy, but quite skinny. He had a restricted diet too.
Once when we were eating out, his order was chips and mashed potatoes. The restaurant was very accommodating and gave him exactly what he asked for.
He likes plain food such as the aforementioned potatoes, bread, cake, baked beans (but only Brantson beans). He will also eat broccoli.
He doesn't like his food to touch, so everything has to be separate on his plate. I serve him his beans in a bowl, along with whatever is on his plate.
I really wouldn't worry about your grandson. As long as he will take vitamin supplements he'll be okay.

I have an 8 year old granddaughter who eats anything and her elder brother 12 is the same. From day one they were introduced to different foods and it seems to have worked . The only ‘ blot’ on the landscape is fresh tomatoes..... neither of them seems to like or be able to digest them!! My own kids were the same , and my own generation of 6 siblings were same . If you didn’t eat what was on the plate.... you didn’t eat! No drama,no fuss, mum just took it away and you went hungry til next meal. I’ve no advice accept sometimes the old ways are better. No child of that age will starve themselves , if food is there for the eating. Try not to worry , he’s made it 5his Caron his restricted diet. I have a friend of 56 who hasn’t eaten a vegetable since she was 5..... she’s fine and healthy.

HurdyGurdy - would your grandson be able to do a bit of cooking himself?
You could start by taking him to the supermarket and letting him select ingredients, whether fresh and healthy or not.
Then at home, use your imagination to create a recipe he can cook himself.
He's more likely to want to eat something he has prepared himself . Or a combination of raw foods.

Tesco or any of the big stores sell them and they're cheap enough to replace if they get damaged.

When I was a child I was seriously ill with whooping cough, and refused to eat or drink. My lovely dad grated a bar of chocolate onto a plate in front of me. He left the room not saying a word. Apparently curiosity got the better of me and I sampled a bit. This in turn made me thirsty so I asked for a drink. Just saying, maybe a bit of a trickery might work.

Divided plates are a great idea.
I saw some Christmas ones the other day, widely available I hope, as I can't remember where it was.

My GS is 7 years old and diagnosed as Autistic very early on. We went through the stage of him not eating much at all and he can still be fairly picky if he doesn't like the look of something. I bought one of those round trays with dividers in that you put party nibbles in and I put different foods in each section (there's 7 sections), some have fruit (which he loves) or grated cheese, cucumber, tomatoes, slices of chicken. He loves a bowl of gravy to dip bread into or buttered crackers but won't touch yoghurts or anything like that. Breadsticks are another thing he will eat, you can put little bits of different things in and see what he likes and what he doesn't but it gives him a choice. He was non-verbal until he was about 3 years old but is now speaking and has come on leaps and bounds. He won't eat hot food at all.

You didn't mention biscuits /cookies, so does that mean that he won't eat those either, despite their crispness?

If he does, it might be worth some experimental baking to see what ingredients you might be able to sneak into them - such as puréd vegetables -even if only in small quantities.

Don't worry too much. My grandson is the same way. Although since he has been in school his pickiness has gotten better. We also don't see him very often but we ask him to try new things. We want to enjoy our time together rather than worry about food. I used to eat butter and sugar sandwiches and am lucky I have a good metabolism! As you all know the human body is able to cope and adapt to so much.

I don’t think it’s helpful for people with no experience of autism to comment here. My fifth son has autism and his eating habits have always been completely different to his older brothers. He is 28 now and still won’t eat fruit or veg, just things with a fairly dry or firm texture. My other boys would and still do eat most things.

Ginjeannie
vegtables made into a soup or smoothie
The little lad only eats food with a texture.

Some supermarkets offer a specific time weekly for autistic shoppers, no music, bright lights dimmed down, staff made aware, etc. My adult son is autistic and could never face soups or hot drinks and doesn't to this day. He has an aversion to certain colours & fabrics too. One thing I learned is that 'one size does not fit all' they're all wonderful unique beings. He's lucky you see him as such and are doing your utmost for him. It can be challenging especially as likes may change. My son tells me that although he loves & appreciates me - I do seem 'odd'to him!He's learned 'normal' but its an immense strain for him to assume 'normal' for any length of time & prefers his own company. He has never judged others especially the elderly & showed incredible patience to his grandparents. Alas he was bullied at mainstream secondary school. Thankfully there is more awareness now.

Oh no,timetogo! Never take someone elses child for any tests of any kind,( not even if your the 'other parent' or a grandparent.)My sons,none of them like needles( 4 sons) but youngest is completely needle phobic! Can you imagine the impact of that on a child with original posters issues and visiting too,poor child would never want to visit ever again! Im sure his mum and own drs or consultants etc already have this covered,as my sons drs do.He is checked as regularly as he needs,but they try to not overdo blood tests now him having so many have produced the phobia.He does elect to have an injection though for flu jab,as he dislike anything sprayed up his nose.He &his brother also have certain dislikes of fabrics textures with some clothing,neither like long sleeves on shirts/t-shirts,or wooly jumpers etc.one wears only jeans but one wont etc.its a sensory thing.youngest has problems with loud noise when he gets ill so much it causes pain in his ears.

Can you find other foodstuffs with Peppa Pig on them, or Winnie-the-Pooh or whoever?

He seems to like crunchy foods, so how about rice krispies or cornflakes without milk?

Have you tried raw vegetables? My sister utterly refused to eat cook carrots or cauliflower when we were small but loved them raw.

I would make sure there is a bowl of something he will eat on the kitchen table all the time, and not comment upon whether it disappears or not

My Grandson like yours is a very limited eater and is in clothes smaller than his eight years. He has autism and in common with many others eats only beige food and cannot even sit at the table if someone else has sauce or a strong smelling food. He gets a sensory overload if he is encouraged to cook and shopping is a huge stress inducer. He can always tell the difference between brands of food and is not easily fooled into trying something new. He also has a cupboard of his own where he keeps his food separate from everyone else’s.

My DD took him to the doctor who said not to worry as he is at the low end of a healthy weight but she insisted on a referral to a dietitian. She was then told to ensure he had vitamins and then allow him to eat what he wanted and not to insist on a wider range of foods even though he eats no fruit or veg. So that is what she is doing and he continues to thrive.

This is not child abuse!!

Try to enjoy your time with him and as he grows he may be able to communicate more effectively re his food choices and your anxiety will ease.

Vegetables made into a soup or smoothie?

Mean.lol

I assume you men SNACK TIMES Riggie?

My sons are same,(21&16 now) they were 900g&950g when born 3 months early,youngest one has had a lifetime of drs,dieticians,etc,who incidentally said dont worry about WHAT he will,just try feed him up,when he gains weight he will grow.she was right.and like your grandson he dislikes certain foods,due to textures,wont have veg at all,only fruit apples,but only very occasionally,doesnt like sauce or gravies of any kind,and will only ever drink cola( though he will have sugar free,but not diet version)has milk occasionally,but not regularly,(theres loads more i could add to his list of dont do's or dont wants) but when he was 15 they found he has mild cerebral palsy and aspergers is listed on his medical notes,though no one ever mentioned that before,my elder son,also has no sauces,gravies,etc,has to have his foods separated,but will now at least eat some veg,but not others,likes plain foods,meat, fish,but only chicken without bones,not in any gravy or sauce just dry,wont have butter or spread unless on toast,but will at least have a variety of drinks, he had mild cerebral palsy from birth but has OCD and ASD issues in some things,mostly to do with textures,hes about average size & weight now,and youngest is now growing taller than older one since he left school.Both are capable of most things,got GCSE's,are at college and university now,older one driving too.Children are amazingly adaptable and im told they adapt their diet to suit their own preferences of what they can& cant eat,( my youngest also seemed to 'shape' his diet to what did/ didnt cause tummy pain) after 7yrs the drs diagnosed his reflux problem! Try not to force different foods on your GS, he will only get upset,then he wont want to visit next time.im sure his mum and dietician will be on top of this,and even the one new taste he did try is a big breakthrough,its enough for him for now.