Friends- cost of meeting up

Is there a late-opening museum or art gallery nearby? They are great places to meet and tend to have coffee bars.

LullyDully how did you find a grand net Meetup group x

whywhywhy whereabouts are you?

Maybe check out the places that do 3 courses for -- or 2 courses for -- in your area? Lots of places do this now or pre-theatre deals. Or go for soup and pudding and say you are not very hungry. I meet my friend for a walk and coffee once a month and that is expensive enough though it is in the morning on a Saturday.

There’s no shame in admitting that you find it difficult to afford to eat in restaurants regularly.

charleygirl some areas don’t have any meet-ups The area I live in doesn’t seem to have any active meet ups

Be honest

Although - if it is just once A month and you do think of it as a lovely treat... could you not just think of it as a once a month indulgence?

whywhywhy you do not mention where you live but could you not meet up with other GNs for coffee/lunch? I have been very lucky and 4 of us have been meeting locally monthly or so for 5 years for a coffee or two.

And pubs have changed a lot. Many are more like cafes now and you can go just for coffee and not be out of place or surrounded by drinkers. Drinking is less fashionable nowadays and with the smoking ban too its now quite nice to go to pubs for a coffee and maybe a bar snack

A cheap way to eat out is to just go for desert.

When DH and I wanted a cheap date we would have a quick cheap dinner then go to a fancy restaurant for desert and coffee

I think that you need to explain to your friend that your budget is reduced and maybe arrange to go to places that are a bit more off the beaten track - restaurants in main roads have to pay higher business rates, council tax etc, while others , where the footfall may be less, charge less but the quality of the food may be just as good, if not better!
Or arrange to meet up in a pub at a different time - not one of the chains , but maybe a free house that is not tied in with any brewery. Their food is often excellent!

I would be totally honest and tell that you would rather go so n so . I’m sure she will understand if she’s a good friend.

I wish I had a friend to meet up with and I would pay for the meal every time. I feel so lonely and would love a friend in this area instead of 200 miles away. Thank your lucky stars.

I sometimes think it works out more expensive to stop for a coffee or cup of tea, which usually ends up being accompanied by scones or cake, than a meal.

I would suggest, if possible, to take turns at each others home for a little something to eat to keep costs down.

Not at all glamorous but what about the café in a large supermarket? You can usually get a decent cup of coffee plus sandwiches or light snacks for a reasonable price and, ime, they tend to be fairly quiet after mid-afternoon.

My circle of friends operate the system where we all take turns at choosing the venue. Works rather well in that we all have pretty different preferences. Yes, sometimes upmarket but these are friends in every sense of the word and I would simply say 'budget doesn't permit next month' or something like that. They'd understand, accept and probably amend the plan.

It is actually not easy to find somewhere straight after work for a quiet chat where you can just get a coffee, apart from the rather noisy chains like Costa and Starbucks. I often wonder, especially in the summer, why so many tea rooms shut at 4.30pm.
However many pubs these days focus on food, and the eating area is more prominent than the bar area. Could she not be persuaded, as they often do some two for one offers, especially the chains?

Totally agree with you all. Mostly these days we meet friends at a bar or pub (or coffee shop occasionally!) ‘just for drinks. I just say it’s great to have a proper catch up without menus and the discussions about food getting in the way!

I remember feeling this way when Paw was unable to work but not yet able to claim his pension and money was frankly tight. It’s when you have to be careful that you can feel more sensitive about it showing.
Nowadays I find it easier to suggest a cheap alternative - coffee and cake at a Garden Centre might be an idea?

Yes I agree with momb just be honest with your friend and make an alternative suggestion.

If she’s a friend surely you can just be honest with her and she’ll understand completely You don’t know she might be hoping you suggest a change too

This is such a difficult one isn’t it ineedamum? I do different things with various friends, some things cheap, some not so much.

Whenever I suggest something, I always check it’s affordable with them (regardless of how much money they have coming in) as people have different financial priorities.

Could you try hosting an M&S meal at home? Not much work involved and less expense than a restaurant.

When we do our gransnet meet up we go for an Italian meal deal around £10 and have a good chat. The national trust also do a cheap lunch and you can have a walk.

(Not to mention enjoying the glorious decorations for Christmas. Mottisfont looks beautiful with winter Flower Fairies and the original paintings.)

Why not just be honest " Hi, can't possibly budget for a meal this month, how about meeting at x coffee shop for a change". If she's a friend then she shouldn't bat an eyelid.

I think it is best to just be honest and say you would like to meet up but can it just be for a drink or coffee as you have a lot of expenses at the moment.