Own up ! Do you do this ?

To annpl. Amongst others !
Yes that’s a good point. Typing your replies does give you time to think and frame your thoughts . It makes you think about what you say and how it might be received.
What do people think about those ( not necessarily on here ) who maintain ‘ What you see is what you get ‘ ? A slightly different thing from anonymity . The opposite in fact but people like that believe they are being ‘real’ but I think it’s an excuse to be rude.
One of my friends recently decided to be more assertive after seeing a life coach. It changed her ( lovely ) personality into that of someone who felt she had to tell people what she thought. Now I don’t like her as much. Sad to say.
Now I’m retired I only seem to meet nice people. I can avoid the others. My first impression of Granset was how posters were really helpful and I thought I was going to enjoy being on here. Having read more of the other kind of threads on here I realise it depends what you are discussing. But I have a confession to make. I enjoy reading the Mrs Angry type posts as they are more entertaining. My guilty pleasure . ?

I don’t care for this thread either. I think it’s what Mumsnetters would call goady.

But if you are Father Christmas, I have of course been very, very good this year.

I'm hoping I'm just the same in RL as I am on here. I can't remember the last time I had a cross word with anyone apart from was my cat yesterday

I was saddened to read your post MawB and wish you wouldn't get so upset if/when people direct their barbs at you.

They don't know you and there may be something seriously wrong with them - just let it wash over you dear, it's not worth your tears. And you seem to have such a lovely, close family - something they may lack and be envious of.

I have a positive advantage over most people here as I've been a fat person all my life and believe me, the very worst, cruellest and most vicious comments are reserved for fat people.

And not always anonymously either - I've met vitriol face to face for no better reason than I have a larget body.

Now, I doubt anyone could say anything to me that would hurt or even slightly bother me - I've heard it all and still come up smiling.

The best revenge is success.

Well I am going to own up to being brave enough to say things on GN that I wouldn't say in real life, not nasty I hope, but just speaking my mind. I'm a walkover in real life, not assertive at all, timid even, rarely say what I think, which is why I ended up with the concert problem (noise) if anyone remembers.
GN is helping me to change.

I hate when people are rude to others, and even on GN if someone is rude to me I am really affected by it.

Not daft at all, Gemini789, it's a question worth thinking about, even if just as individuals! I often wonder if people on social media and news posts would be just as rude and nasty to someone face-to-face. I'm pretty sure some would and others would shrivel under the harsh light. On Gransnet, most posters come across as quite genuine, if a bit "more so" at times. I'm guessing some let their "telling it like it is" (to them) tendency rule while maybe others are just having a bad day, are triggered by the topic, etc. I've read posts on here that I thought were pretty hurtful and then noticed that same poster be very compassionate and kind on a different thread so who knows, right?

I suppose it was a bit of a daft post because who was going to own up to being nasty ? We all think we are doing the right thing.

That is so true , Bridgeit .
I’m new on here as some will realise. I don’t do twitter or fb and there’s been quite a lot of comment in the media about the nastiness MPs are subjected to under the cloak of anonymity and some of the comments on You Tube are awful.

Having read a few threads I realised that some people seem to know each other very well . And of course the meet ups mean people aren’t anonymous. I hadn’t thought about that.

I can’t be bothered to argue very much these days but I am really interested in what other people think . Some posters have very strong opinions and it’s obvious they don’t want to hear a different view.
I wondered if , because some of us are older , we are more understanding of people’s differences.
And once or twice a poster has really surprised me with their directness and I’ve thought , ‘ How rude ! “

I believe of you have a complaint about another poster and wish to express it via a thread, then you should have the decency to name names. Not just cast adpersions about the many.

Nonnie I simply don't understand your most recent post on this thread. If you are making veiled comments directed at me, please feel free to say so. I know you objected to something I said recently but I can't remember what it was about.

Well done Jane10 sometimes you just need to get the point across don't you.

Well I confess that in RL I snapped today and told someone what I thought of what they had just said to me! I was already sorely tried by this person and what she said and then repeated was a last straw! She was very taken aback and went to complain about me to others but got pretty short shrift from them! I felt momentarily bad but she was 'needin telt' and I 'telt' her!!

Gone yes, definitely more of the same. Shame but we all learn who they are and see how they destroy their credibility.

Shame there are some, even on a thread like this, who simply don't understand you can get your point across pleasantly.

More of the same. Sigh.

I try to say nothing that I wouldn't say in real life, while I'm online.

I do that too oldwoman

dahlia and let's not forget Mrs Doasyouwouldbedoneby.

I know sometimes it is hard not to bite back but we should try. Shame there are some, even on a thread like this, who simply don't understand you can get your point across pleasantly.

I don't think I have ever written anything rude or hurtful on this website, or any other. "If you can't say anything real nice, don't say anything at all" was OK for Thumper's mother, so I try to stick to this rule on line. Confess to being more critical/bossy/judgemental in my "Real" life, but never knowingly unkind, though I am known for stating my case.

I don't post that often but if a thread I am on becomes unpleasant I leave it. I appreciate people can be very committed to their beliefs and opinions, however, they should accept that others can and will have opinions that differ.

Daft thread.

Sad Gransnet is going this way.

Good grief -we have all been less than kind at times in our lives, it's called growing up !
I hope that with maturity comes a certain degree of empathy and worldliness that influences how we now react. If not , so very sad.

Having been at the receiving end of some acerbic (to put it mildly) put downs from certain posters, whether in this or previous incarnations, to the point where I felt obliged to deregister, there are clearly some who are either nasty in real life or save their venom for social media.
It is strange how upset you can be at rudeness or bullying by someone you would not give the time of day to in RL, but it is not hard to feel vulnerable.
So there may be few or none to “own up” as OP asks, but many more who have been the butt of such posts.

Ziggy62 instead of casting aspersions please would you say what you mean. It would be so much kinder and helpful.

I try to be pleasant and give constructive advice if it's asked for. I would love to be clever enough to be an 'ethical hacker' so that I could unmask the nasty trolls and I'll bet I'm not alone in that.

Ziggy62 your post is a classic example of what I said in my post of 08:52:07.

MawB Fri 01-Nov-19 09:30:41 I agree, I think that some use SM to be nasty in a way they wouldn't normally. Twitter is worse.

Twice in the last few days I have been referred to as polite on GN so I will leave that there.

May we widen this? What can we do, those of us who don't need to be unpleasant to get our message across, to encourage others to be more tempered in their language? Sometimes things which start small can spread. Maybe I'm too optimistic?

Here are some things I have seen on GN which I personally find offensive and think we would be better off without:

Brexshiteers
Remoaners
Liars
Maybot and other nasty things about Bercow etc.
Make an accusation and when proved wrong not apologising.

and the really annoying one: interpreting another's post and saying they said something they didn't.

Perhaps I should stop there.