Xmas gifts

I shop for Xmas and birthdays throughout the year. I buy my Christmas card in a sale in January and when I see something i think someone would like I buy it, put it in a box in the bottom of the wardrobe and about this time of year, sort it out to see what is in there. That way I do not have huge expense all at once. Yes sometimes I end up with more than one item for the same person but then it can usually be given for a birthday. I now write a list in the back of a diary what I have purchased for who. This helps.

How about 'making memories' so get theatre tickets and have a day out with the GC. They'll remember those days far more than a load of toys.

I never worry at all about what others are buying.

The other grandparents are absolutely out of my league, money wise, so it would be silly to try and match what they spend.

My husband and myself are on a limited budget I try and save throughout the year with lark and that helps me but I don’t get upset now about it I buy what I can afford always asking about anything specific they want. I don’t get upset now I’m not getting into debt for gc. They know we love them.

This year we have decided along with the parents of our grandchildren that each family (3 families) will buy the other families a family size box of chocolates or biscuits.
Both my children buy lovely presents for their children and we simply cannot compete. Anything we buy, although recently I have asked both mothers for guidance, looks like very little compared to the electronic wonders etc. that they get from their parents.
We have five birthdays all around Christmas to buy for.
The parents also worry about the costs of Christmas. We are trying this for this Christmas and hope it will set the pattern for the future. I was talking to my daughter and mentioned that in a couple of years we will have a much reduced income and we would find it embarrassing not to be able to buy everyone nice presents, so it felt better to make the decision now from a position of strength rather than in two years from a position of necessity. Two of my grandchildren overheard the conversation and both immediately said we must not feel embarrassed and they were not worried about presents. They are 12 years old.

Now some of my grandchildren are older, I buy subscriptions to magazines. Aquila was enjoyed in the past but this year I’m paying for a weekly newspaper for my nine year old GS. It’s called The Week Junior and the first six copies are free, if you take out a subscription. You then pay £21.50 every 13 issues, which helps to spread the cost.
My seven year old GD attends several dance/theatre classes so I pay towards some of her lessons. Both appreciate receiving small gifts from me on my long weekends at their home, perhaps more than at Christmas when they have so much!

This year I am buying a token present probably from the works as they have some good craft kits and science kits and a premium bond. My dgc get a lot of stuff who knows I maybe the grandma who makes them a millionaire lol

Sally, I think that's great. I wish I had been so aware when I had the chance. Too late now alas.

I just buy my grandchildren a token present to open at Christmas and birthdays as I buy their shoes throughout the year. My daughter prefers this as they get so much and hardly bother with any of it! The other grandparents buy them expensive toys but that’s their choice. I see them a lot and we go out, play games, bake etc and that’s what they love best.

Spending several hundred is just plain stupid.
I certainly think that £30 is more than enough. It's the spirit of giving not the cost that matters.

I think the idea of wrapping a shoebox in Christmas paper and filling it with lots of little wrapped presents would delight most young kids.
A friend stayed recently and I gave her a load of cards I had been given with my Sainsburys shop. She said her GS loved them and played with them for ages!

All of us grandparent in the way that comes naturally to us.

When your grandchildren grow up and look back on their childhood and grandparents, they will not remember you for how much money you spent on them. They will recognise the economic differences between their 2 sets of grandparents, but what they will remember most is who you were, what you did with them - mainly giving them your time and listening and talking and sympathising with them, and how you loved them.

The rest will be irrelevant.

I am in much the same position and try to find really amusing or interesting things for my grand-son.
One year I bought him a crystal-growing kit and that led to learning how to make crystals from all sort of household things.
And I made Fart Trombone, those things you cobble up from cardboard rolls and a plastic glove. Hours of hilarity.

Children don't usually think in terms of money, unless they've been brainwashed into doing so; they are far more interested in fun, laugher, learning and activities.

So buy or make things which will remined them for years how much fun they had enjoying your gifts.

My friend got caught up in a battle between her parents and his. Total madness. Her mother worked in a toy wholesalers so the others didn’t stand a chance. Her mother also bought a pair of Clark’s lace up shoes for the GS when he was six months old, The couple ended up divorced partly because of grandparents interference.

Just do what you can afford and what seems right to you. My SM used to send pictures through the post of anything she thought may be of interest. They used to look out for the postman and loved receiving envelopes addressed to them.

I find it difficult to choose things for DGD and am thinking of buying some premium bonds and a smaller present this year.

She has been pleased with dresses I've made her.

The most successful present seems to have been a subscription to a monthly educational magazine (8 years and over ). She loves it and gets a regular reminder of me!

Sally, my DGC live overseas and some time ago (when I was there with them) I bought them each a "scrapbook for storing the cards, postcards, etc which they receive. (Each scrapbook is actually a large ring-binder folder; each page has a "peely" protective cover, so that items can be moved and re-replaced.) These have been a great success, and when I visit, they will show me how their scrapbook is going. I don't know how old you DGC are, but I buy a regular subscription to "Aquila" (children's "educational" magazine) which DGS in particular, really loves.

Sally
Whatever we do, however much we spend or don’t spend, we never know if we are doing the right thing, and someone is always ready to criticise.

Just do what feels comfortable for you, don’t think about what anyone else is doing or spending.

Children love colouring books and crayons/pencils, drawing books, stencils and things on that line. I used to love the " magic " paint books where you just used a paintbrush and water. Scrap books and child-friendly glue. A plastic cloth to preserve furnishings etc. Perhaps an annual too.
Things like this look a lot, are enjoyed and don't cost a fortune.

I send fortnightly letters to them as I believe that its a skill being lost with the advent of emails etc.

I have purchased subscriptions for Geo Kids in the past which was successful but the other grandparents decided to do the same!

It's really hard as my relationship with my son in law is strained (a case of mutual toleration though we are friendly on a face to face basis), & they live around 3 hrs from us, and I don't drive (hubby is a reluctant driver).

My daughter and I chat most days on line (I can't use the phone), but I don't want to put her under pressure . She worries about upsetting people.

Deep sigh, life is so difficult .......

I don’t think the amount of money you spend on the GC matters at all. Our other GP gave the children so much money last year that even the GC decided it was ridiculous and put half in the back and gave the other half to charity. Children don’t value money like adults. I give my GC £1 pw each . At first they thought it was silly but now they have seen how it mounts up in their money boxes they are grateful. Give them something personal or quirky and they will be quite happy. If you can’t visit do you FaceTime/ Skype or text to keep in touch?

could you deal with the situation by sending little letters to them with pictures, something to entertain them and receive through the post. The kids will like that at least as much as presents that cost a hundred pounds. If the little letters arrive throughout the year then Xmas will be another nice letter with small gift. I bet the other grand parents don't do this!

You’re worrying about nothing, Sally. Your budget is fine and you obviously put time and thought into spending it. I would actually have been very annoyed if any of my DC’s grandparents had spent hundreds of pounds on them at Christmas. It’s not classy to outdo Santa!

We have set a budget for each grandson for Christmas and birthdays, and always check with their parents as to what to get them. They have so many presents anyway that this often means we end up giving them something costing around £15, but it’ll always be something they actually want and are happy to get. The rest of the money goes to their savings, or to whatever their parents want to treat them to later on.

Maybe you could include a "year long" present. Making a promise in a Christmas letter to send a postcard or letter every week until next Christmas. Or knitting a small toy for Christmas and sending additional ones that match throughout the year.

A subscription to a children's "comic" would also make your gift last longer. There are a lot of seni-educational ones now and you could ask their parents which they would like.

You already know that money isn't important - and the other GP are spending far too much. Don't ever feel sad about that.

I seriously don’t think it matters. With one set of grandchildren, their other grandparents spend roughly the same as us. The other children, I would think we spend considerably more, I don’t know for certain, but I think there are a lot of grandchildren, and so little is spent on each one. I don’t let that make any difference to what I spend, but I don’t think it bothers the children at all. I think they’re wise enough to know she spends what she can afford, and are grateful for it.

The others spend several HUNDRED? Why on earth? What you are spending is more than enough.