Ladies who like to be driven to places - why?

I drive but don’t often enjoy it. I know my confidence is lower than it was a few years ago. It puzzles me as I don’t drive any less and there have been no accidents. On long journeys Mr C and I share the driving equally, he enjoys his share, I tolerate mine.

I love to drive and have my own car, infact I don't know what I would do without it.

I don’t think I’ve ever been a natural driver, and I can’t ever say I’ve ever really enjoyed it.

But for many years I covered a lot of miles with three children at different schools, all a good distance from each other, and weekends I would drive to sports events in places I didn’t know, long before the joy of google maps!

But now, I do prefer to be driven on long journeys, my husband enjoys driving, and is always irritated by my refusal to overtake anything, even a tractor, but I will definitely keep my hand in .

My second daughter and her husband each have a car, but he doesn`t like driving, the only time he does is to go to work. Whenever they go out anywhere she always drives.

I take two non driving friends out, one never learned to drive, the other has lost all confidence.
DH enjoys driving, I simply do it to get from a to b.

I would have thought so Maw....the days of taking Mother for a spin are over, cars no longer a novelty.

I still have to drive locally and long distances, , but I can imagine that some people lose confidence as they get older and perhaps feel nervous about driving their friends.
Not a good move in my opinion, that independence will be hard to regain once lost.
Going out for a “nice drive” is a bit of an oxymoron these days though isn’t it?

Im 65 and drive as part of my work. Driving is sooo boring stuck in traffic every day but when im not working i love driving over the northumberland moors and lanes. I also take my mother for shopping my daughter for shopping dgd to swimming and school so everyone would be stuck if i gave up driving. I have considered getting rid of the car when im 66 and can get a bus pass. Maybe

Offering lifts/ car sharing is environmentally sound, but expecting others to do all the driving is selfish.

I try to avoid journeys where parking is tricky and I never drive for more than about 1.5 hours, and I try to avoid journeys after dark on unfamiliar roads. I use my bus pass a lot and take the train for longer trips, much less stressful.

Having said that, I am a good driver but a terrible passenger. My husband drives too fast and brakes too late for my comfort. I feel tense when we are out on a journey but he insists on driving every time. The time will come when he needs me to drive him so that I can drop him off eg at the doctors, then go and park, as he can’t walk very far.
I am not sure what is going on with your friend Margaret, but it seems a bit odd to me.

no she doesn't offer but that's not the issue

Maybe it is.
Margaret ought to offer even if you don't accept. Why doesn't she?
Maybe she's trying to economise by not using her car and therefore doesn't want to offer?

Maybe she suggests an ordinary café as she thinks that won't put either of you to too much expense?

Her 'exploding' sounds very unreasonable, tho, but I don't think there'll be any improvement unless you talk to her about it.

I often ask for lifts if our choir are going anywhere. It seems a waste driving alone in my car if there are 20 others going the same way. And parking is usually at a premium at most venues anyway.

I do also offer to drive others so I take my turn as well.

So far I am not worried about driving and drive on the left and the right with no problem. Will be driving less in the UK now my mother has died, and the price of hire cars is getting beyond me.

My enforced time of not driving was helpful in a way. I really made full use of my bus pass and taxis as required. It was good practice I think.
I gave myself a fright trying to drive in the dark one evening. My eyes were dazzled very badly by oncoming traffic and I had to get home at snails pace.
DH kindly drives me to my evening talks these days and I 'see him right' in other ways as thanks. Meals out I should say!

Your friend sounds a bit weird.
I drive thousands of miles each year, in fact I left home at 6 today and drove to Devon.... I prefer to drive than be driven although I do feel happy when being driven by my 3 DDs. I always volunteer to drive friends when we go out as A it prevents me from drinking which is no bad thing and B my friends are pretty useless drivers ?. Lane sliding and slowing down to an almost stop when talking being the main misdemeanours! If I want to leave my village I have to drive as there’s no public transport which I would use if it were available. I dread the time I may have to hang up the car keys and lose my independence

Well Margaret has it all worked out and those that dance to her tune have only themselves to blame. Perhaps her real problem is that she needs to feel wanted and thinks this is the way to do it. She may well have lost her confidence driving and is afraid to tell anyone. Perhaps her eyesight has deteriorated but she doesn't want to say so as she would have to face up to it.
I know that I don't like driving but do locally and further if I have planned my route. It's not so much the driving but trying to park somewhere. If I can I will go on the bus as I have a bus pass and also it is more of a day out and I am not in a hurry to get home.
I have a friend who loves to drive so when we meet once a month I pay for coffee and cake in lieu of his time and petrol.
I also like to make my DH drive when we go out for a meal so that his drinking is severely restricted and my night at least is therefore enjoyable!

Well said Hm999 - I don’t understand some women’s need to restrict themselves which is what refusing to drive does.

I don't mind shorter journeys of up to half an hour but the longer three or four hour journeys hurt my back now. Unfortunately as my dh is waiting for brain surgery and cannot drive anywhere i have to do all of the driving and I hate it, especially in busy traffic or when it is dark.

I don't know if it's my irritation at women who say that they need their husband to take them to the shops, but I worry about some women will do when they (statistically speaking) outlive their husbands, or he becomes incapacitated in some way, temporarily or permanently. Driving is a skill that needs practising at least occasionally.

janeainsworth - blimey that's a bit of a leap isn't it?!

Sometimes we just have to accept people with all their foibles. - Hetty58 is right - that's why I am friends with her because she has some great qualities and we have a laugh together, but I can't understand the driving thing.

Feelingmyage55 I'd never accept anything, no she doesn't offer but that's not the issue. Unless its a very long journey indeed I prefer if people don't offer petrol etc, but those offers are of course very kind.

So most people here are saying, like me, that they do drive and many prefer to drive, or if they cant they wished they could - its definitely the independence it gives you that is so important. I think its just Mararet's "thing" then. I'm afraid it will have to remain her "thing" as I'm not going to start offering days out - its not a coach service! But if she wanted to arrange something special, other than coffee at the local supermarket cafe, then I'd be happy to agree a date etc and of course I would drive so that we could enjoy it together.

This lady sounds like she is taking things to extremes. Is there some underlying cause, I would be concerned about this being such a focus in her life.
I hate cooking so my husband does it all at home, we all have our idiosyncrasies I think. Your friend seems to use this as a means of controlling things mrsnonsmoker and to have friends with her..

I like driving but often take turns with friends, therefore if I drive she pays and vice versa. Does your friend treat you at the coffee shop? Would you feel better if she paid for lunch as you are driving and paying for petrol? She would be showing appreciation and you would not feel being taken advantage of.

I only drive if I have to. When I worked I was happy to drive anywhere, for myself and for the firm, but after I retired I had a nasty near miss on a motorway that shook me to the core, and have never driven a motorway since. I’m not even a good passenger on motorways. DH loves to drive so it is not a hardship and, if there came a time when he couldn’t drive I expect I would step up to the plate.

I will drive anything, anywhere.

I am not very good at not being in control in a car so I tell my husband he is much better at navigating than I am so I get to drive most of the time!

I am 67

There were some statistics published recently that showed that older women were some twice or three times more likely to have accidents when driving than similar aged men.

It was put down to the tendency for men to take over the driving seat once they retire and for women to drive much less. This undermines women's confidence in their driving, they get out of practice and when they become widowed (if they do), they are very rusty when they need to start driving further than just immediately locally.

We have set out to make that never happens to me. We both share the driving on longer journeys and recently I have driven to York, and back, driven from North Wales to Oxford in pouring rain on narrow windy roads and this last weekend went to France and back for four days with DD and a friend, where I did all the driving.

This pattern of driving meant that when DH was advised not to drive for two months for medical reasons this summer, I was able to take over all our driving without batting an eyelid (or having any accidents).

My husband and I have been retired for 12 years, since when, he has done most of the driving. (We both have cars.) I do wish I hadn't let him, as I have now lost all confidence and rarely drive anywhere.

Got to get my mojo back! I've thought of driving, just locally, every day to ease myself back into it.

Any other ideas ...?

Sometimes we just have to accept people with all their foibles. Maybe you'll just have to offer sometimes and you'll never find out exactly why she's like that. I used to work with a woman who'd driven for years but stopped when she had a minor crash - due to a 'blank moment' - and was too scared to drive again.