Ladies who like to be driven to places - why?

I just think I will be percieved as the Margaret quite often because people think the one getting the lift is the one getting a favour and its not always the case! Ive gotten lifts to places I didnt want to go to as a favour

E.g. a lovely friend who I dont see much of because she only wants to go places that require me getting a lift to. There is no comprimise with the location is always her choice. Usually a national trust place. She never wants to go for a nice (free) local walk! To her thats not a proper walk.

So I sit in her car so we can go where she wants to go.

I do like her company. But am I really the "taker" there?

My husband doesnt drive. Luckily I dont mind or our disabled son would either never go anywhere or spend a fortune in taxis. It would be nice to share the driving on a long journey but I doubt it will change. And I used to think it would be nice if I could have a drink or two if we were out for a meal or something, but as Im now off the booze due to my medication I guess it makes no difference.
However all my friends and our families drive too so I dont get lumbered with being chauffeur.

Like you Scribbles I no longer drive as I found it so stressful. I was fine as a driver but was overimaginative as to what could go wrong so never felt relaxed and restricted myself to just short well known journeys. I feel that plenty of confidence is needed for driving these days and I knew my limitations.

I think people who are very attached to their cars think people who dont have one have restricted lives!

I dont feel restricted. I dont understand who some of my friends do hour long drives to walking spots! IMO you un-do the walk with all the car sitting! I really WOULD rather go for a walk that I can WALK to so these big favours they offer are not really about me..

But I dont just dislike driving I dislike car travel.

And I think me not driving somewhat callenged those colleagues who lived as near to work as me (you could actually walk it if you had time!) Insisting they needed their car and parking spaces at work. So there may have been selfish reasons for making me look like I needed lifts!

So I dont know about the Margaret thing. But do know that people who cant imagine not driving do often think that non drivers want and need lifts!

So if in conversation you say "oh I never go to X shopping centre its too many bus changes, I go to Y shopping centre as its ons bus" then you can find yourself being offered lots of lifts to X IYKWIM.

And people who cant imagine not driving dont always believe you when you say you'ld rather shop locally or get the bus. They insist sometimes to justify their own car use!

It can make a tremendous difference to a chronically ill, disabled or frail or elderly person who is not able to drive to be offered a lift. I am in this position. I know it is a burden on the other person though and therefore I do not ask for lifts because other people may not like to refuse. But, if, on occasion, you would not mind, but it has not occurred to you to offer a lift to someone in my position, do please consider it. Some people in my position will have a blue badge, which they can use as a passenger in your car, which will help you to park more easily if you are both going to a place where it is difficult to park and that could be a little bonus for your good deed.

I think I shall drive until I think I’m unsafe to do so.

Had an eye test a month ago to make sure they were safe to drive.

I’m 74 soon, and this year drove to Cornwall from the South East. Last year to the Lake District.

All the time I feel confident to do that and do so without incident then I shall drive. It isn’t just me to think about but imagine if I involved some other poor driver in an accident because I failed to recognise my inadequacy. I’d be mortified.

There is a difference though. I get tireder quicker now so stop more regularly and in fact did the Lake District over two days.

I neither like nor hate driving it is something that gets me from a to b.

For those of you who feel you are losing your confidence - RoSPA do driving assessments for 'older people' - over 60 I think - it's very helpful and non confrontational - and will give you pointers if you need to brush up on anything. I'm a road safety officer and haven't done this myself (yet!) but know people that have done it, and are full of praise. Regarding other halves doing the driving - we moved to a different area 5 years ago, and without realising it, my husband started 'taking over' at weekends - he passed his test comparitively recently and it's still a bit of a novelty for him! But when I had to drive somewhere without him locally, I realised I didn't have a clue of the local area! So now I'm driving more at weekends - I have a 45 mile round trip to work every day, so I'm not out of practice generally!

Does she do anything for you in return?

She's not a friend, but a mean manipulative woman who likes others to run around after her. Stop making yourself so available.
The solution is simple, she can learn to drive or take a taxi!
I don't suppose she contributes to the wear and tear on your car, the tax, buying a new car, the fuel...!?

You are not being unkind just fruistrated i think that she keeps doing this. I have a friend (she can drive but hasn’t got a car at the moment) I pick her up from her house, take her home again although she lives on a good bus route and think nothing of it - but what does wind me up is she will sit there and allow me every single time to pay for the car parking. If the shoe was on the other foot I would want to pay for the car parking in thanks for the lift. I was short of a £1 once for the car parking, she gave it to me saying I could pay her back later when I got change.

I hate driving. But also hate the notion that all non drivers are lift scroyngers. I would honestly rather walk od get the bus!

I had 2 colleagues who were convinved I was always sitting there waiting for life offers after work. One would insist on dropping me "home" if it was raining... except she wouldnt do the 4 min detour to actually drop me at the door, which is fine but I never asked her to give me a lift or go out of her way, yet she always insisted I needed one if it rained, then dropped me off further from my house than the bus stop! I did say I preferred the bus but she didnt listen. I ended up finding reasons to work on a bit on rainy days to avoid her.

Another colleague lived very near me and did similar. Offered lifts which I would sometimes accept if we happen to walk out the door at the same time, but then I found out she was being a martyr about it and telling people she had to give me lifts! I think I accepted less than 10 lifts from her the whole time I worked with her!

Other people think that if I say no to going somewhere thats not public transport accessable, it means I want them to drive. It doesnt. It means I would rather not go or rather arrange somewhere more accessable.

I hate getting lifts. Youre on the lift givers time table even if youre paying for petrol

And there is also the issue of people who like driving always wanting to go places thats a drive away and being reluctant to just go for a coffee locally

I hope Margaret stumps up some petrol money. She doesn’t sound like a very nice person at all and I’m amazed she has any friends left.

This lady does sound as if she has a problem, but then over the years I have realised that 'Everybody is somebody's wierdo' - we all have odd foibles that some won't notice, but enrage others. I am happy to drive, but equally if someone else wants to they are welcome. I have a friend who can't be driven by anyone else, and another acquaintance who will do anything to get a lift with someone rather than drive himself. (In that case I think it's meaness with petrol!)

I don’t particularly like driving but with living in the countryside my life would be very difficult without it. Just leaving now for a 90 min drive to one of my sons for the weekend and I’d go by train if not for the bus replacement services turning the journey into twice the time.

I love driving but have recently moved to a new area so don’t know the routes so well. Like MiniMoon I have a cataract growing which makes me less confident and I don’t like driving in the dark too much. I insist on having my own car as I need to feel I’m not relying on others. I think “Margaret” needs a good talking to!!

Never reamlly understand why so many people give up driving if they are fit and well. I am 84, a widow, and still drive everywhere. If I want to see many of my friends, now widespread rather than local, I have to drive as they have given up. No public transport where I live and very dodgy single track roads so no choice but still would want to drive for the sheer convenience of coming and going when I want.

Good grief I’m heading down to 60 fast and I drive everywhere. Sounds like getting old before her time!

I wonder if she has developed a fear of driving but doesn't like to admit it. I drive but avoid city centres as we have such good public transport here.
The fact that she explodes says something, doesn't it?

I ve never driven never owned a car but I ve never expected lifts either I have my cycle my bus pass and my legs and feel totally capable to get from A to Z without any expectations
If it’s too far or off the bus route I either won’t go or get a taxi if anyone is going and offers a lift I would accept but I would never expect or look fir one
For instance in a couple of weeks I m going to an evening party about three quarters of a mile away I will walk there if anyone offers me a lift home I ll gladly accept if not I ll walk back if just isn’t in my head to be concerned about not having a car I m sure I d have a much fuller life if I could just pop from here to there but that’s just how it is

It sounds to me that Margaret is worried about money. And maybe likes to manipulate people just a little.

Those of my friends who don’t drive never learnt, but my DD1 who isn’t a natural behind the wheel, hates driving so much she’s announced that she isn’t going to anymore. Everyone tries to persuade her to just have a practice once in a while ‘just in case’, but she prevaricated and now it’s become too big a hurdle for her to face. The funny thing is that because she has (had) to think carefully all the time when behind the wheel she was an excellent and very safe driver.

When we go out together DH usually drives - he’s a terrible passenger, I have to drive like a chauffeur to stop him wincing and then he tells me off for being too slow or not keeping up!

Bradfordlass

Margaret literally explodes

Problem solved then

That is odd behaviour from Margaret. If she's lost confidence with driving maybe she'd be better off selling her car and taking taxis instead.

For myself, my car will have to be prised from my cold, dead hands before I give up driving, barring for health reasons. I enjoy driving and this past twelve months have driven 15k, only a small portion of which dh has done (he has his own car). Between us, we drove 620 miles on Monday just gone, taking about 12 hours. We'll do 620 miles back home again this coming Monday.

Has something perhaps happened to Margaret while she was driving? Perhaps she is losing confidence but doesn't wish to tell you the circumstances.

Other than that, I do think it's strange behaviour.

I am a confident driver and drive long distances but I do take the train or coach sometimes if I'm not going to use the car when I get to my destination.

I would take the train to London.