where along the meaness to generosity range are you ?

Not mean never.
Family say I`m too generous and what was lovely was when my Grandson came up to me and said " grandma why are you so kind and lovely".i had to turn away as my eyes filled up.

Generous with others mean with myself. Would give the proverbial shirt off my back to anyone I genuinely thought was in need. Try to give anonymously if possible. X

I haven't always had much money but I have always been generous with time and assistance. I used to be generous financially with my family but then found it was being taken for granted and then expected so that has stopped. I have over 20 grandchildren so now birthday and Christmas money stops when they are 18. I like to donate to smaller charities where I think the donation really goes to help rather than the bigger ones where it just goes to pay for the administration.

I think that as a couple we are quite generous with help and hospitality.
I am always aware that if a friend gives me a lift then I pay for parking and a coffee.

However I am mean spirited in that I notice when others don’t.
I have found that most people who don’t have much always offer. It’s the ones who are financially secure but don’t offer that I’m not keen on.
I play tennis with 3 other people. One of them never buys balls! We’ve been playing for years and have made the odd comment to no avail. We all play very well together so the 3 of us put up with it but behaving that that would make me feel so uncomfortable.

I love giving presents/money to my family but I'm careful too.
However if one of my children needs help they get it immediately.

DH and I share everything, so it is really how generous are we. We give a monthly amount to our DS and DiL to fund DGDs extra curricular stuff. Also our eldest GD gets £50 a month into her bank account. When her younger sister follows her to secondary school, she will get the same. My DD and DS get a large amount of money as a Christmas present. On the other hand DH and especially me buy a lot of stuff, mainly clothes from e bay. Whilst we are able we will continue to help our children. We are fortunate to be in the position to do this.

To go back to the original question, I think, fortunately that my husband and I have much the same attitude to money. If we’ve got it, and someone in the family needs it, they can have it.

My parents weren’t very generous, if I borrowed any money, I’d have to pay back every penny. My husband finds it hilarious, that if they invited us to tea, we’d be expected to contribute something towards the meal.

Early in our marriage I borrowed some money from my father in law, to get the boiler repaired, I paid back so much a week, when I got about half way, he said it was fine, forgot the rest, I couldn’t believe someone would be so generous.

I heard a snippet on R4 this morning with regard to financial donations to charities from wage slips, apparently highest earners give the least. Of course people donate directly, or in other ways too.

Money is only useful if you can exchange it for a necessity or something that gives you pleasure. Possibly giving to others gives the most satisfying pleasure?

So interesting reading your replies. I find it fascinating and read that mental tapes in your head about money are set in childhood. Generous people seem to have a happier life a more active social life and good karma generally. When our 3 children met and married their better halves over 10 yrs ago I watched them form their own levels of generosity and feel they have got a balance which means they are not mean but not over generous with their resources of time skills and money. I have to say the transition was not always easy. With my dear hubby and me our family rules are so different in this aspect that it still has to be managed. Hence the question.

Somewhere middling I suppose. It depends how guilty I’m feeling.

I think I’m probably a bit too generous with my grandchildren, but I love to spoil them.

One of my daughters is in a bad relationship, always very short of money and time, so I help out a lot with both, sometimes I feel like I’m enabling her to carry on with it, but I can’t bear to see her or the children going without.

I would do the same for my closest friends, knowing they would do the same for me.

He who waters others will himself be watered. Proverbs 11.24 (and she, obviously!).

Calendargirl You're right, it does make us sound awful but I've never met a Yorkshire person who conforms to the characteristics in that rhyme.

Yes, lemongrove I agree.

I don't have much dosh, being on a basic State pension with a high rent to pay but when I have something to give (either money or goods) it is to the smaller, local charities.

There is one in particular that I love.
It's called Koha Kai (A Gift of Food) which began in 2013 as a means of helping people with a disability (intellectual or/and physical) learn cooking skills for confidence and independence.

This quickly went into not just eating what was prepared but providing needy children in schools with good, nourishing hot meals at $1 each (49p).

Now they not only grow much of the food they cook but also teach children about the joys of doing so.

I feel very proud of them and that I've been able to support them, albeit in a minscule way, since their small beginnings.

If anyone is interested in reading about Koha Kai...

www.theimpactinitiative.org.nz/case-studies/koha-kai

I give whatever I can to DD and grandkids...money or more so, my time. Don't have much money as just get by myself month to month but always have time when not working to help. Nothing more valuable than seeing them happy and smiling

I never lend money and am careful with requests for help.
If I think it's likely that it will become a habit, I decline.
If I promise to do or give something, I will absolutely keep that promise.

I if of.

I think it's ridiculous to remind someone to thank you. I

Should anyone not thank me when I go out if my way to help, I just stop the help.
A one-time friend became so used to asking me for lifts because her husband refused to leave the TV and glass of whisky or lunchtime drink at his local, that she went too far and objected to me not picking her up outside the supermarket entrance. She left the trolley pushing and packing to me, although perfectly capable of doing it herself.
I bought flowers and left a note saying it was nice while it lasted but I'm unavailable in future.
Her children didn't visit for the same reason.

I tend to be generous, verging on over generous with the 'kids'. I have to watch that I dont spoil them. I find it perplexing when I go out with girlfriends for a meal and some of them will only pay for exactly what they had, on the grounds that if we split the bill equally someone might get a better deal because they had a glass of wine. I quite literally couldnt care less, although I keep quiet in the interests of diplomacy. I roll out the red carpet for visiting friends because I like to do it. Whether they reciprocate is irrelevant to me, indeed one couple have been visiting us for twenty years (as part of a group of eight) and have never ever invited us back. Its weird, but it doesnt stop us inviting them over and they always accept.

Oops!
Friends and family can have the shirt off my back. ?

Family and friends can the shirt off back .?

I spend money on anyone and everything. Then I tell my DH off when we are a bit short! To be honest, I cannot stand mean people. It is one character trait I just loathe.

I am in generous in spirit, will help anyone with time but not always money, it depends. I have helped both my children out and do't expect it back. My GC, well I haven't given presents for years but they have all had the chance of driving lessons and help buying a o no I am not mean.

I'm another who fluctuates have been generous to nearest and dearest with large amounts but can be penny pinching too, a trait I perceive I inherited from my father who was parsimonious a lot of the time except if he wanted something then he wasted money, I grew up thinking it was normal to go off to the theatre and ballet from time to time whilst simultaneously having clothes that were too small and shoes that had seen better days.

I fluctuate on both things. I am careful but not mean.

Generous to our close family give to charity when can: I am at the moment going through cupboards draws things I don’t use anymore will be going to whoever needs it : I get a real sense of satisfaction to do that