causing offense?

Think you answered your own question there by saying you were called names. Off course it’s offensive.

Our daughter had ginger hair when she was a baby. It was gorgeous.

I have never understood why people have a problem with ginger hair. It all boils down to ignorance and intolerance of difference I suppose. Saying 'ginger nut' belongs way back in the un-pc past though, because of the connotations of 'nut'. My m-i-l used to say that if her son had been born ginger, she would have dyed his hair! This was back in the 60s. I think we have moved on since then and there are enough celebrities championing their ginger locks. At the sec school where I work, no child seems offended if their hair colour is called 'ginger'. I think saying someone's hair is 'mousey' however, is really insulting.

Only time will tell if our " ginger biscuits " will have to change their name if some bright spark comes along on the defensive.

Yes, and before we know it we won't be able to say blackboard, or celebrate Christmas?

Ridiculous. A ginger biscuit is a biscuit flavoured with ginger, and there is no reason why anyone would change the name. Mocking those who want to be more considerate of others is unkind and usually based on ignorance.

I feel a bit sorry for Fennel. I agree with the consensus that she shouldn't have made a personal comment; but she only asked whether she was really in the wrong. We can only learn by experience, and it is clear that Fennel genuinely wanted to know why her comment was ill-received.

If people who ask about this sort of thing are lambasted over and over, it won't encourage anyone else to try to open their minds, will it?

I was delighted when I had a beautiful red haired baby (auburn hair on both sides of the family) but, years later, my poor DS told me he had been bullied every day of his school life for being 'a ginger'.

How horrible!

A fellow ginger / auburn here. As a child I hated my curly auburn mop. I was teased a lot for my hair, pale completion, glasses and bring a little bit over weight.
Now I love my hair as at almost 40 I have a our 3/4 grey hairs, whilst my friends of the same age are quite grey.
My partner calls me ginge and teases me in a loving way which is fine. If a stranger did said the same I don't think I would like it. I do get many compliments now about my hair.
My elder daughter is strawberry blonde - her hair is gorgeous and she is complimented too. Second child is dark blonde / mouse colour.
I am wondering what colour hair our new arrival will have?

MawB I wouldn't comment about about an "undersized child" child although I did have comments about my height made to me as a child, in fact I wouldn't comment about childrens hair colour, teeth, eyes, I was just trying to point out that these days people can be too quick to be offended. My husband was apparently called "speccy short a**e" when he was young and has he has just said it hasn't done him any harm.

jennyvg Would you comment on an “undersized” child I wonder?
As adults we are generally well able to defend ourselves or find a riposte for a patronising comment, but our children...?

Could some posters read tavimamas comments? This is where bullying leads and it's never acceptable, it's never 'just a joke'.

I love auburn/ red hair, but it may be a bit rude to say ginger nuts.I remember when my brother was little he had carrot coloured hair and did people comment on his "carrot head" I felt sorry for him but then his hair changed colour later and there were no more comments.

Tavimama - that's truly awful. I thought that schools had policies and procedures to deal with this sort of bullying?

Sussex born couldn't agree more, your comments are exactly how I feel about society today, I am only five foot tall and over the years I must have heard every short person joke and comment I just took it and smiled, life is too short to get offended, some of the comments on here about being offended over hair colour are just over the top

The youngest of my twins has the most beautiful red hair - every shade of red you can think of, plus browns, whites, blondes and even jet black. She has been bullied mercilessly since nursery school - she is now almost 16. My poor baby has been punched, kicked, had things thrown at her and been verbally abused all throughout school - purely because she is a red-head.

However innocent your comment, please think of the heartbreak an awful lot of people have to contend with JUST because of their hair colour, skin colour, sexual orientation and more.

Some people still just don't get it!

its sad really how we have to watch everything we say in case someone is offended, no one wants to hurt anyones feeling but I really think that things have been taken much too far now, after all, what happend to free speech, one of the football pundits called a lady reporter , love, she complained to her superiours , said he was being patronising, I wish someone had called me love

EllanVallin, I too remember the term 'Carrot Top' and it was always meant to be a compliment and in those days mostly taken as such.

I would not have been happy either if you had called my beautiful grandson a gingernut. You should have been a bit more sensitive, as you had the same hair colour.

'Gingernut' and 'Carrot top' were some of the names DD endured at school. Along with 'bugs bunny teeth' before she had a brace fitted. None if these helped her confidence and were downright unkind. She's 50 now and is known for her gorgeous shoulder length red hair.

As a child with red hair, I hated being called ginger nut.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7Umw70Yulw

Remember, only a ginger can call you a ginger!
I too have a DGS with the most amazing head of auburn hair, but I would never let the “g” word pass my lips. The only comment I have made is that I spent many years and even more money emulating that shade!

I can not for the life of me see why you needed to comment on the colour of his hair. If you wanted to comment why not say "what a lovely baby" or in my part of the country "he's a bonny bairn".
My DH had bright red hair when we first met and I loved it but a lot of people made comments about the colour. The downside to the red hair is the pale skin that burns easily and redheads tend to be bleeders.

Of course the woman would be offended, why call the child any kind of a name. I fail to understand why having red hair would make it ok for anyone to call a child anything. Saying what beautiful hair would have been complimentary, calling him a ginger it was not

For all you posters saying ‘sign of the times’ ‘pc brigade’ and ‘people take offence too much these days’ you have missed the point completely
Personal remarks about appearance are not acceptable many were tolerated in the past and probably started out almost as endearments but over the years have been taken over by the hate brigade so words about appearance have been used to point out differences, to offend and also to divide Look at descriptions of ethnicity and disability that have been twisted into words of hatred and poking fun Would you use the word spastic or cripple any more no because they were hijacked to become words of derision Just like the dreaded N word or P to describe an Asian they were used in the worst way possible which has made them no go words
Its not PC brigade it’s about what a word has come to stand for through it’s dreadful usage
Just keep off commenting on people appearance unless it’s an honest compliment

You would have been eaten alive on Mumsnet! I’m in my 60s and from the northeast- ginger nut has never been a complimentary term to me. ‘Gorgeous hair’ would have been a better way of putting it.

Ginger-nuts in Scotland and the north of England are ten a penny

They are - but it’s still not a nice thing to call a child up here, especially if you don’t know that child. It never has been the sort of thing you say to a stranger about their child or grandchildren unless you don’t care about how they’ll take it.

A good way to approach things if you’re worried about causing offence is just to say nothing. Alternatively you could ask yourself - would I say this to a grown man in the supermarket I don’t know? If the answer is ‘probably not’ then it’s a good idea not to comment on another person’s appearance in that way.