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causing offense?

(230 Posts)
Fennel Fri 04-Oct-19 12:00:16

I was in the lift going up to Tesco yesterday, with a Gran and her grandson in a push chair.
The little boy had beautiful auburn hair so I said "He's a real gingernut!" At first I thought the Gran didn't look too pleased, so I said "My hair used to be that colour". After a pause, she said "So was mine".
Do some people take offense at being called Ginger? I got called many teasing names.

SueDonim Sat 05-Oct-19 19:34:56

Ain't that the truth, Summerlove.

Summerlove Sat 05-Oct-19 19:30:46

I mean I get it. It’s hard to change.
It’s much easier to be rude, and then blame people for being offended

Summerlove Sat 05-Oct-19 19:28:21

sue people don’t care that they are being offensive though. they meant it nicely and anyone offended just needs to get over it.

Basically, unwilling to change but blaming it on others.

SueDonim Sat 05-Oct-19 19:10:02

For those of you who still don't get why terms such as ginger nut are offensive, please read this. www.unilad.co.uk/featured/why-is-ginger-bullying-one-of-the-last-acceptable-prejudices/

I don't think people are more offended nowadays over this than they used to be. What's new is that people feel more able to speak out about it offending them. I was a shy child and being pointed out as having an unusual colour of hair was excruciatingly to me, because I hated the attention focused on me.

Also, it's never just the one person that makes these comments. It's every bl**dy day, it never stops.

Tris68 Sat 05-Oct-19 19:08:04

My youngest 4 yo DGD is ginger, (she says orange!) Her dad sometimes calls her ginge & by very close family she'll (often) get called a ginger whinger but on the main we compliment her about her hair. It's different shades or orange & waist length & I adore it. I'm constantly stroking it & telling her what beautiful colour hair she has & if I ever saw a child with red hair I would say the same.

Summerlove Sat 05-Oct-19 18:53:48

MawB, that was my point.

I thought my eye roll emojis showed my sarcasm

BlueBelle Sat 05-Oct-19 18:45:25

Well that got lost doodlebug
taralou that was irony (holds hands to head) ?

MawB Sat 05-Oct-19 18:36:35

It’s called being kind Summerlove - age is no excuse for rudeness.

Summerlove Sat 05-Oct-19 18:21:40

I can’t think of anything worse than having to carefully choose my words so as not to cause someone offense
???

Jishere Sat 05-Oct-19 17:55:42

This is misplaced judgement. I gather when you was called this then it was from people you knew, so it may have been said in an affectionate way or you just wasn't that bothered about this term.
I think you recovered from this situation but you should be more mindful.

welbeck Sat 05-Oct-19 17:55:15

I am in my 60s, had literally never heard of this prejudice til I was quite grown up, and it was a news item about bullying in school. took me a while to even understand what they were talking about. but I realise not this was unusual, though my older brother, 3 different schools, also had never come across it, and he went to a much larger, rougher school. and neither of us had such hair colour.
but obviously other people have/ do suffer because of these attitudes.
maybe the person who said it's the association with celts is right. remember the notices, no blacks/coloureds, no irish, no dogs.
we have to take note, and learn to be more civilised, and try to teach children to value people's character over their appearance.
I remember seeing tv of small children, aged about 4, friends, one black, one white. the interviewer was pushing them to say what the difference was between them. they answered in terms of likes, food, games, when pushed further the black boy exclaimed triumphantly, I know, Joshua lives at the bottom of the hill and I live at the top !

MawB Sat 05-Oct-19 17:38:31

Doodledog gringrin

Carolpaint Sat 05-Oct-19 17:32:51

I am with you Taralou. As we age does the venom concentrate?

grapefruitpip Sat 05-Oct-19 17:18:19

Doodledog, I fear you wit may be lost on some.

Taralou Sat 05-Oct-19 17:05:27

Well said doodledog. I cannot believe how nasty people are on here. I don’t post for this reason however I read the posts most days. I think most of you have got nothing bett

Doodledog Sat 05-Oct-19 16:51:45

We've become such a P C country now. It's probably wrong to say good morning to someone in case they're having a bad morning !!!

It's terrible, isn't it? People can't even be offensive nowadays without someone pulling them up on it. It was so much better back in the day when we could all be as vile as we wanted and all those minority types knew their place.

tickingbird Sat 05-Oct-19 16:47:40

For a start Auburn hair isn’t ginger and I’m surprised you’ve had to ask as ‘gingernut’ has always been used in a derogatory way as far as I’m aware. My late mum had red hair and my father always called her Red. I used to believe that was her name when I was a child.

NannyG123 Sat 05-Oct-19 16:42:51

When I first met my husband I worked on the switchboard with another person with the same name, when he called he used to ask for ginger gill. Now blond thanks to my hairdresser

wicklowwinnie Sat 05-Oct-19 16:36:50

No, Grapefruitpip, They haven't, but I think we all know we have to be so careful these days when choosing our words. Though it appears whatever we say someone will be offended.

I wouldn't have remarked on the child's hair colour though.

What happened to the British sense of humour?

grandtanteJE65 Sat 05-Oct-19 16:13:25

I had red hair as a child in the 1950s and anyone who had then considered "ginger" "carrots" or even "red-head" as hurtful.

We didn't mind having our hair described as copper, or auburn.

Those who used ginger or carrots always said it in a derogatory tone of voice.

SirChenjin Sat 05-Oct-19 16:11:50

People are not too sensitive - times change and language evolves, it’s no good complaining about it. Just accept it and move on, otherwise you run the risk of sounding like one of those old people who complain about ‘things not being like that in my day’

I presume you don’t still use words like paki, spastic, retarded, negro and so on - if you can manage that you can manage not to call a child ginger nut.

Avor2 Sat 05-Oct-19 16:03:34

I am a 'Ginger' it was the freckles that were commented upon mostly, when I was younger it used to bother me but now that I am old and still 'Ginger' (no grey) I don't care, in fact I love to see people with my colour hair. If we were all the same wouldn't life be dull. People are much to sensitive nowadays, they need to get a grip !!!!!!!!

grapefruitpip Sat 05-Oct-19 15:53:49

What is a PC country? How do I know I'm in one? Has anybody ever taken you to one side and said something along the lines of " Sorry that's probably not the best phrase to use"..ever???

Saggi Sat 05-Oct-19 15:41:11

‘Ginger nut ‘ is up there with ‘four-eyes’....I shouted it as a child at redheads and four eyes! We all did it cos that’s how kids are! It was NEVER meant as a compliment ...always an insult !! So if you want to comment on this delightful colour ...let it be auburn or red!

EthelJ Sat 05-Oct-19 15:36:51

But I know that you didn't mean to insult the child. But better to have said something like 'what beautiful hair he has'then there can be no question about your intention.