Such a bad day - just a weepy heap

As others have said, a care home would give you both a break and a chance to recover a little. I know the cost is a big concern. See an independent IFA. Ask around for a personal recommendation? Also, get those daughters more involved. This is their parents and they're struggling!

Respite and/or care away from the home is not necessarily an ending.

So sorry.Wishing you both lots of strength and love xx

A sad and painful day lucky, but hope you come to a decision and get a plan agreed with your husband and the family, hard though that is. Hoping that tomorrow is a little better than today.
Thinking of you and Sending a hug.

Luckygirl, like some others, I have just caught up with your thread.
I am so sorry for you, as you have tried so long, and so hard to make the situation work for your DH, and yourself.
But it is now beyond you, and you must give in.
Thankfully your DH has said he understands, and I know your heart is breaking for the decision that has to be made.
You must take care of yourself, as you are absolutely at the end of your tether.
Please take care, as has been said, the GN family are all here for you, so come and off load here.
Bless you and wishing you a calm time for the journey ahead.

Hello Luckygirl, just sending good wishes to you and your husband during this awful and unimaginable time. I am sorry there is nothing I can do to help you, except a virtual hug.

When my late husband and I went to India the guide quoted his saying for times of extreme stress, "everything will be alright in the end, if it's not alright, it's not the end". Thinking of you, I will look forward to your next post xx

Sending love to you xxxx

Not much more I can say - but do take note of what Annsixty says and bear in mind that with professional care for your DH and the respite it brings you, you may find some peace of mind and that this may reignite your love for each other without the sheer gruelling physical exhaustion you are going through.

Luckygirl sending you virtual hugs ??

Oh Luckygirl just caught up with this thread . Nothing to add really, except to say that I am so sorry for you both . It’s a good job none of us know what’s hiding around the corner isn’t it? You have given so much and you don’t deserve to have to make such a heart wrenching decision . I hope you get the strength you need from somewhere. You are in my thoughts xx

My thoughts are with you at this to e,these decisions are never easy. Please take comfort and support from your family.

Luckgirl there is nothing I can add to what has been said, I am so very sorry x

So sorry, what an emotional time for you. Maybe comfort yourself, and your DH that you will now have the time and energy to spend enjoyable time together. If you can now have a good night's sleep, you will have the energy to chat and read to DH, to share some good times. You still have a long way to go, but the first step has been made and remember GN runs a 24 hour virtual tea and sympathy service, there is always someone here.

Bless you x

I’m so very sorry. I wish I could say something, anything to comfort you. and a gentle ((((hug)))

My friend was in your position about 4 years ago. Luckily she and their AC found a nursing home close enough to allow visiting every day.
He had his own room with some of his familiar things.
It wwas a compromise but such a relief for my friend. I saw her visibly relax for the first time in years .
She had more energy. She wasn't getting up several times a night.
His condition gradually deteriorated and he died last year.
He was popular at the home and some members of staff came to his funeral.

Just do it Luckygirl
It is hard , you will feel guilt and regret but you know it must be done.
I gave until I could give no more, my health has suffered and I should have made the decision sooner.
It is only you can do it, your H must be made to see it will benefit you both.
He will not like it but he will settle, you can recover your strength and get some of your old life back.
I really did leave it too late, don’t do the same.
Good luck.

Luckygirl Nothing I can say is going to change your and your husbands situation, but I am so sorry you are going through such a sad situation.
I'll be thinking of you both

I have a little understanding of the pressure you have been under as I moved in with my parents to care for my father, who was bedridden, for the last 6 months of his life.

The situation throws up unexpected emotions and is physically demanding. Which in itself is hard.

Once again my sympathies.

Hello luckygirl. Dragonfly has just used the word I was going to write - professional - care. I know it is different as your OH is just that, your other half, but when my parent reached this point, we were no longer treasuring the time together. It was all too fraught. Although moving to the nursing home was heart breaking, unbelievably within two days, she was settled and did not want to go home. We were then able to enjoy time together. My mum, who had multiple health issues said that she was better looked after than by me (that stung) but found that being able to have staff help at the press of a button especially during the night, doctor in several times a week as a matter of course, choice of food, and the security of help and company on hand made the new situation better than the situation at home. She was also able to be taken out as it needed two of us, and could spend a lot of time sitting in the garden. I guess that you have reached this turn in the road and I am very sad for you both.

What a time for you Luckygirl. I thank the Lord that I was spared of all that pain you're going through. I can't begin to know how you must be feeling, though I understand that the present situation isn't a realistic one for either yourself or your husband. You've tried and done your very best until you can't do any more, and nobody can say otherwise.
Time to look to your own health and well-being to gather the strength to visit him.

What everyone else has said, Lucky.

Sending you lots of love and (((hugs)))

Luckygirl ....so very sorry to hear this, what a decision for you both to make.

Don’t know what to say , so sad.?

Lucky, I have no words, you have my heartfelt good wishes and sympathy.

Lucky Sorry to hear this