If this blooming carer....

Lucky, sorry if I sound harsh, it just makes me cross on your behalf. You are an employer, not a carer for the carer!

Oh Lucky, if it's not one thing it's another.

But, by the time you get the bug, if you get it, she will be feeling much better and can look after you as well as your DH.

You need a bit of looking after, so try and relax and go with the flow.
Sorry, I didn't mean to sound flippant, but do take care.

I will ferret around in the cupboards and see if I can find any.

We take high strength echinacea at the beginning of autumn and continue throughout the winter. If you get a cold you can double the dose.

So difficult to keep away from viruses as winter approaches. Fingers crossed you don't get it.

Difficult to set a boundary round viruses! They tend to go their own way!

Life's not easy for you Luckygirl. I hope you and DH stay well.

Ok so she has hardly even entered your home and there are issues with boundaries.

Probably too late lucky but a Consultant recommenced the nasal spray (Dual Defence) that Boots sell, it apparently kills the bugs that invade the nose. Sceptical as ever I tried it and it does seem to work. Not sure how. The agency really hasn’t played fair to you or the carer, good that the carer seems nice though, here’s hoping you and your husband stay well and she recovers quickly.

To be fair to her, she told the agency and asked them to contact me so I could decide what to do - but they did not make contact. It is difficult as I can see she is ill.

i am so very sorry for your dilemma but maybe time to reconsider the situation.

Not the result you were hoping for! Hope you can avoid infection though how she could just turn up like that baffles me. Still, let’s hope she is good at her job and recovers quickly.

New carer has arrived and she is lovely, but..............she is ill!! She has streaming cold and hacking cough!

The previous carer arrived in the same state and I have only just recovered from the bronchitis that ensued for me.

I went to fetch her from the station and she asked if the agency had told me about her bug, as she had been concerned about spreading it, and asked them to tell me, which they didn't. I have just driven her here from the station in the car so will no doubt get the bug.

Should I have turned her round and told her to get on the next train back? - gawd knows. But we cannot manage without a carer.

OH has very strong immune system and seldom gets bugs - but he is at high risk of chest infection is he does.

And I get everything that is going! - especially now I am on this blessed denosumab which is not good for immune system.

It is just one thing after another. Little sigh.

Oh this has made me laugh! Unfortunately I am one of those "say it like it is" sort of people when I run out of patience. I'd have been sorely tempted to shout WILL YOU SHUT UP!

Tell her you are now going to meditate for an hour and need peace and quiet.

I have a cleaner like this. She follows me around the house talking to me, including outside the loo. I pay her for 3 hours - I doubt she does more than 2. I have mug written across my forehead (and yes I know - first world problems!)

Maybe you are all she has to talk to.

I would tell her I don't appreciate any conversation before 11 a.m and at any time of day I find people talking just for the sake of it hard to bear.

If she has anything of real interest to tell or ask you will gladly listen, but you appreciate peace and quiet in your own home.

As she is leaving on Saturday, it really does not matter if you offend her, and she might just learn something that avoids her next client going batty.

This reminds me of a girl who stayed with us when we were just married. She talked and talked. The funniest time was when I went to the loo. She stood outside and kept on talking! I've lost touch with her now. She was a nice girl but my goodness she talked.

I would be concerned about a carer that lived from job to job and was now going to be homeless until deciding what to do next.
I would want someone who was dedicated and respectful of employer's space.
We have someone in our extended family that is a carer, she looks after young people in their own homes. I was horrified to hear that she didn't "do old people". you may prefer certain types of work but to voice your disgust.

Oh dear Luckygirl. I do feel for you. Regrettably, due to arrangements within your home, you have to share a huge amount of your personal space so getting the 'right' sort of person who understands boundaries is crucial for your own health, as well as her knowing what's expected.
After retirement, I did work privately and for Swindon CC but it was sometimes stressful even though the homes were large enough to afford a live in suite of rooms.
It can often be like treading on eggshells unless duties and expectations are very clearly defined and adhered to on both sides.
Frankly, I was glad to just do driving and shopping but principals often ignore your time off.

Pick up a book and pretend to read. And ensure she takes all her gear when she goes - no excuse to return.

That's just the way that some people are and they often have low self esteem.
Maybe most of the people that she cares for are on their own so enjoy her chatter.
There is no easy way without being rude,unless you quietly explain that your DH (even if it's not quite true) , prefers a quiet house, or that you like to wake up slowly and quietly in the mornings and can't handle too much noise until about lunchtime ?

Luckygirl as you say you are in a very difficult situation having to share bathroom and lving area with your husbands live in carer. Are you recruiting these darers directly off the internet or does and agency send them to you? If an agency is sending them then you should discuss the arrangements and behaviours you want with the manager sending the staff out.

Sounds like you need a good carer, with excellent skills, who is an introvert and loves reading books or doing cross words, or jigsaw puzzles etc.

Good luck.

I sympathise. It must be difficult having strangers coming into your home for these periods of time and having no say as to who is coming. I would find that very challenging. To maintain my own equilibrium I would be polite but not engage other than with what is absolutely necessary. I would make the carers space very well defined and comfy and welcoming and point it out to her calmly. And I would make my own space private and also point that out and that can be done by your actions as well as speaking. If you have very firm boundaries at the very start both you and she will feel safe. Remember she too is in a strange situation and she may need you to give her guidelines within your home. You can say things like. I need to get on. I have things I need to do. I’m tired today and not up to chatting etc. Sounds like she’s made the right decision to stop being a carer and hopefully a new one will be more sensitive and it’s an opportunity to set your boundaries at the start. I agree with the idea of a few therapy sessions for support. I know there are also organisations that support people in your situation. In the immediate moment go for a drive and scream, thump a cushion etc ie.. let it out. Good luck.

Yes I have worked as a live in carer doing holiday relief work while the regular carer was away. This carer should not be sharing her personal details with you. I only shared the fact that I was married with 3 kids, how long I had been doing the job, town I lived in and that's it. Was always friendly but professional, welcomed visitors with tea or coffee then retreated to my room. Gave family privacy but on hand if they needed anything. Was offered several permanent jobs but that was not for me. Her personal life should not be shared with you it's a business client relationships not family and friends.