Babysitting

I dont know if this will help but this is what we do, we babysit our 15 month old ggs every friday, he also doesnt want mum to leave and usually cries, but we have made a little routine, as she is about to leave i take him and we walk her to the door(he is usually still crying) we stand at the door and wave goodbye making a big thing out of see mammy wave to mammy, then see the car, wave to the car and then we play with a toy that is beside the door. It was still upsetting for him for the first 5 or 6 times, but now even though he still cries a little by the time we get to the waving goodbye bit he is fine. Maybe something like this will work for your little one

I know this isn't much help, but my son couldn't wait to see the back of me. He'd stay with anyone and happily wave me bye bye. I was the one who cried.

I know this isn't much help, but my son couldn't wait to see the back of me. He'd stay with anyone and happily wave me bye bye. I was the one who cried.

I know this isn't much help, but my son couldn't wait to see the back of me. He'd stay with anyone and happily wave me bye bye. I was the one who cried.

I used to work in a Day Nursery and can confirm what others have said about children crying whilst their parents were leaving but then being quite happy all day until pick up time when the tears started again. One little boy in particular could turn his tears on and off as required - one afternoon his Dad turned up early and spent 15 minutes watching his son playing very happily with the other children. Once he spotted Dad on came the tears - but at least Dad knew he hadn't spent all day like that. Oddly, when he was occasionally dropped off by his Grandma there was no crying at all, he waved her goodbye and trotted in quite happily (maybe he knew it wouldn't work with her)

Our little grandson had massive separation issues too but as others have said, tough it out and be near him, soothing him till the crying subsides, distract him. Our DIL would “accidentally” leave a cardigan or something that smelled of her which was a huge comfort to him.

When my son was little, Saturday was 'Grandad day'.
My son would fill his little backpack and wait patiently for my Dad to arrive...often he'd be waiting at 8.00am! He'd be off without a backwards glance and those day's are now really cherished memories for him, he absolutely worshipped my lovely Dad.
Totally off topic but when everything settles, you can enjoy making lovely memories too.

Maybe just pop him in his buggy and walk out door with Mum. Then take him for a little walk.

My friend and I took our two little boys for their first day at playschool; they sobbed and cried pitifully when we left - we both spent a really awful couple of hours, and couldn't wait to get back to collect them. They were both at the window, scarlet faced and sobbing, on our return. We took them back for the second session, as they were both due to start school a few months later, and had the same performance, but the helper suggested we go away for ten minutes and then look through the window. Our two little dramatic performers were running about laughing and happy. This is always a horrible experience but so many good ideas on here to amuse the little one and distract him - I love that laundry basket idea! I'm sure that he will soon be coming happily to your house and will have a store of things to tell his Mum.

I'm also going to be looking after my grandson in November , for 1 1/2 days a week , when DiL goes back to work . We have had him since a new born , for a few hours and also overnight a few times . He still cries when mum leaves , sometimes sobs , but I just tell his mum to say bye , see you later and just go , when she is leaving , then distract him .I know it's tough and upsetting but he will get used to it , you sort of have to weather the storm .....it will improve ?xx good luck x

I had a toddler like this when I was childminding who had never been left with anyone before. I found a walk in the buggy worked well and also just walking around shops seeing strangers shopping helped with socializing. Not to do any shopping but to get used to people being around apart from mum and dad.

My grandchildren settled with me fairly easily, but if they were crying and clingy when Mum left I found that it reassured my daughter to send her a photo or short video of the child playing happily soon after she arrived at work. Does depend on the workplace though, may not always be possible.

Have just read welshwife’s comments and totally agree with them. I looked after one of my grandsons who was a few weeks old in order that his parents could go to a wedding for a few hours that was in a hotel minutes away. He was absolutely fine and I found out years later that his mum cried most of the time, but my son insisted they had that little bit of time to themselves. She said it was the best thing they could have done because it made life a lot easier as the years and more children arrived. My son who had grown up witnessing the children that were happy to stay with us as a childminder and how quickly they settled when mum was out of sight

this reminds me of my youngest boy, at 5 years of age, I took him to school, to go to work, he cried, the other ladies told me to get off, and later told me that as soon as I had left, he dried his tears and was very happy,, He is nearly 50 years old now

just saying

Lots of good advice and reassurance on here Susan, so I only have one little suggestion.
As mum will be feeling terrible, could you send her a picture or a little bit of film during the day, so she can she he’s settled and doesn’t have to think of his distress all through the day.

Ask mum to give him something g to look after for her then he knows she’s coming back
Have something to distract him as quickly as poss I used to sometimes sit mine in a low laundry basket and pull them around until they were laughing
It will get better and remember it’s a natural reaction he’s not ill he’s worried you can’t protect him it’s a learning curve

Can you do this in his home susandevon53?

Having been a childminder for more years than I care to remember I can assure you this will sort itself out. Quicker if you can persuade mum to leave him with you for a what I always referred to as a breaking in period. Starting with a quick trip to the shops and leaving her coat or bag behind, gradually increasing to a morning then a full day. If this can be done as often as possible over the next few weeks it will be a lot easier on everyone concerned. Going back to work after all that time will be hard enough without worrying about the wee one left with you.

Often with young children they are better if they leave the mother rather than the mother leave them. No idea of logistics and if it would work but could you collect the child and leave Mum at home - looking a bit sad is good too! Try it out and see if it makes a difference.
Often it is just the parting but anything to avoid distress.
It usually works when they are going to school too - a person other than the mother leaving the child.

Thank you all for your wonderful advice I will try all of the ideas fingers cryxxxxx

I think love, firmness and determination are required in equal measures!

Each time, take him to the window and help him 'wave bye bye to Mummy. She'll be back soon'. Immediately give lots of cuddles and whizz into an activity, a good book or even the television.

Repeat this routine daily so the little chap knows what will happen, feels secure with you and realises that yes, his mummy has gone but always returns.

Keep strong, it's difficult for everyone at first but soon becomes the norm.

My son was exactly the same - my mum used to look after him on a Monday afternoon so that I could go into town on my own and he used to cry as he waved me goodbye but was ok after a few minutes. Mum used to sit him down with a book or a special toy to distract him.
Some children just take a while to realise that when mummy goes out without them, she will be coming back and they haven't been abandoned!
He was also the same when he went to playgroup - I just cut down the time that I stayed with him each time bit by bit and he was fine eventually.
You just need patience, try different things - even take him out of the house for a walk or in the garden after he says bye bye to mummy - who has to walk out and keep walking, not coming back in !!!

Lots of excellent advice. Strikes me that if he cried for 5 mins and she came back then from his point of view it worked. So next time maybe 10 mins etc. I would have half days from now on so that he can get used to the new routine. Love the glove puppet idea too. Also you do need to try to relax as he will pick up on your worries. Just needs time and patience.

Marilla, what a lovely teacher you must have been. My daughter leaves her two year old at nursery and sometimes he cries when she leaves. The nursery staff then take photos and email them to mum during the day. He's playing happily and mum is reassured.

Find things to amuse him before mum leaves so that he's settled and happy before she goes.If you start now as soon as you go in have a game or walk round the garden with him and point out things that he can repeat back to you.Just sky,and tree and grass etc .He'll get into the habit of doing it and mum will be able to go with less tears .

My son had to be scraped of me when he started school ,only because it was a strange place he'd been at work with me from months old and went to nursery at 3 ,but school scared him.His lovely headteacher let me take him in the front door to her office where he dusted her phone and opened her letters for her and after the bell went she walked along with him to his class.That was all he needed ,to be kept busy when mum left .Good luck with this,his poor mu must be in bits with it.Its horrible leaving a crying child .