Moaning thread

You’re priceless ???

Ah well, I suppose it comes to everyone eventually.

Last night I flung my knickers into the toilet and tried to flush the adjacent laundry basket.

BradfordLass72. You have made me laugh so much I have to restart my pelvic floor exercises. I do not like doing them. ?☹️

After weeks of rain, I went out into the morass garden to put compost around the fig tree.
Was crouching but then bent too far forward and fell on my face into 6" of glutinous mud (go on, laugh, you're allowed). My lawn is not well drained and is a bog every rainy season.

Trouble was, I was mid-lawn and there was the potential for many neighbouring eyes to see this bums-up catastrophe, which had me helpless with laughter as well as pinned down in the mire.

Also nowhere to pull myself upright.

So squelching with every swampy pace, I crawled on hands and knees to the boundary fence and was able (unseen, thank goodness) to haul myself to my feet, without having yet another 'accident' from laughter.

Every stitch of clothing into the laundry sink (too thick with mud to put straight into the machine) a good, hot shower, change and cuppa put me right.

Talk about The Creature From The Black Lagoon!

We spent a couple of hours clearing the front garden of twigs and leaves after last weekend's gale.

Just looked outside and the front doormat is covered in

LEAVES!

Someone said earlier about their dressmaking scissors being used for opening a bag of cement, well Mr Barmey has ruined two pairs of mine in the past and he now knows that if it happens again he will be looking after himself and my room for dressmaking etc will have a lock on it. I reckon its a hanging offence.

Tell him "It's just a game"
That always cheers them up!

Mr R is watching his favourite football team on his ipad and they are losing
You'd think the end of the world was looming.......I wish he'd just shut up!

Sorry lovebeige You may be asked to leave, you have inadvertently provided....good news.

Mr Less is parading around like some sort of custodian (of what?) quite irritating, the fence panel that was ruined 23 years ago still remains taunting me and I have eaten too much again.

The good news, my favourite programme - Who Wants to be a Millionaire will be back on Saturday 24th August.

The bad news - I'm not on it. C'mon Jeremy, give us a ring.

Those damn lottery numbers haven't come up either.

Note to self: Don't rush and scoop up a Jack Russell that's come bounding into the kitchen having rolled in something disgusting. Getting her into the Belfast sink for a bath PDQ was not worth waking up with a bad back this morning.

#heavierthanshelooks

shysal thanks for that advice. I rarely make pastry but next time, I'll use the paper.

MissAdventure Some time ago I fell in my garage and damaged goodness-knows-what in my bum and it took over a year before I could sit anywhere, even temporarily, in comfort.
Gave a whole new meaning to running buffet.

Too long at my computer still give me a pain in the bum. And that's not counting the constant complainers.....poor souls.

I wish it was as easy to soak your fundament in Epsom Salts, as it is your feet.

MissAdventure - come on Lass, fill in that form, we've already had a spell without you on GN and we don't want it to happen again.

If nowt else, get mad with me for calling you 'Lass' !!

I have come out in a rash - why? I got stung by nettles when weeding - too lazy to look for my gardening gloves. I can’t sleep because I nodded off after lunch. ☹️

mabon1. Nice to see you. Please add a high octane moan to qualify for a prize (cake ???). Ps nice to see you back.

Love that you are back mabon
I’ve missed you!

Marydoll was Rab C Nesbitt's wife in the comedy serious and my teaching colleagues , including my headteacher, found it amusing to call me that, as I'm such a refained lady.?

Today, at the seaside, I was in a clothes shop ( where else would I be found?) when I heard a voice calling, " Marydoll , where are you?". It was my three year old granddaughter. My son has taught her to call me that, he thinks it's amusing! ?

Marydoll...I can hear your name being said in a (male) Scottish accent and in my imagination it sounds beguiling!!
Didn’t ‘doll’ get used as a pet name for a girl in Scotland at one time?

Kelvinside or Morningside - I can be as 'refained' as anyone if required! My 'normal' speech is RP with Scots vowels and more pronounced 'r's.

I too can speak the best “pan loaf “ when required. Marydoll [grin

Namsnanny, you wouldn't have any problem understanding me, as I was brought up in the same town as David Tennant! . Just like David, I can "do" broad Glaswegian or refined Kelvinside.

It's a pity this isn't a Boasting thread, as I can mimic many accents!

Thankyou Namsnanny x

Happy Birthday crazyH, poor you and your ribs!! Still you got your bruises enjoying yourself!

Happy Birthday Ile35. It was my bday yesterday. Had too many Proseccos - tripped and fell on the arm of the sofa and bruised my ribs. We too had a take-away yesterday....but I paid -- hmmmm....my children should have paid?Hope your door is sorted.

mcem….I was one of the complainants, sorry!!
No Scottish bias from me.
Love Billy Connally and David Tennant.

I can understand them though!!

Oops! forgot...Happy Mirthday!!