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Does anyone else still feel a bit lost without their Mum?

(138 Posts)
Kandinsky Sat 20-Jul-19 20:22:51

I’m 56 & my Mum passed away 5 years ago, yet I still feel a bit ‘lost’ & uncertain about everything.
My Mum lived to a good age & I know ‘that’s life’ but I just never imagined life without her.

Does anyone else feel the same?

Poppy11 Sun 21-Jul-19 14:47:27

Kittylester
I too envy people who have a relationship with their mothers.my mother is still alive but I don’t have or want any contact with her. God bless you all.sorry this is short but this is my first chat.????

EthelJ Sun 21-Jul-19 14:35:38

Yes I do, mine died nearly 11 years ago but I still think about her almost every day. Maybe even more now than when she was alive I took her for granted when she was alive and didn't really think of her as a person on her own right, just my mum. Sincw she died I have thought alit about her difficult life and how I didn't consider her feelings as much as I should have.

Madgran77 Sun 21-Jul-19 14:02:15

My mum died 11 years ago. I still miss her particularly when I could do with talking things through with her and hearing a dose of her wisdom!

wicklowwinnie Sun 21-Jul-19 13:57:17

My mother was the centrepiece of a very large family. After she died over 20 years ago the family disintegrated. She had kept the family together and would be very upset if she knew how things were now.

All the childhood and later grievances came to the fore and nothing has been the same since.

MiniMoon Sun 21-Jul-19 13:53:44

I don't really miss my mum all that much in a physical sense. I miss not being able to ask her things family related. She was the one I went to when I wanted to know what was going on in the wider family, cousins and their children for example. She anchored everyone, and without her I'm rather adrift.

Horatia Sun 21-Jul-19 13:50:13

Willynilly. Well said.

grannytotwins Sun 21-Jul-19 13:44:46

I was just 40 when my mother died suddenly at 68. I’ve lived longer than she did now. Although it’s over 29 years I miss her so much. I had my dad for another 17 years and as they grew up together as children, they were next door neighbours, he really suffered with her loss and I was his support. I could cry now thinking about her.

pen50 Sun 21-Jul-19 13:40:22

Twenty-two years since my mother died and I still miss her - as does my dad even though he's had two more wives since. She was an exceptionally lovely person.

Loislovesstewie Sun 21-Jul-19 13:28:34

Yes, it's 51 years ago that mum died. I still miss her and think about her every day. I was a child so never got to have adult conversations with her , I wonder what we would have talked about , what advice she would have given ,lots of things.

Marilla Sun 21-Jul-19 13:04:48

Kandinsky, I’m sorry you are feeling so lost without your mum. There is an enormous hole in your life and those feelings of being lost and uncertain are all part of grieving.
I might suggest you be careful not to slip into a depression.

I have read lots of advice and at times it can be helpful.
Just writing out in a notebook why you miss your mum might bring you to tears, but it also allows you to indulge in those feelings and then put the book away until the next day. Wipe those tears, make a cup of tea and relax. Then make yourself get up and do something even if it’s just wash the cup and saucer,

Let us know how you are.

Carlos66 Sun 21-Jul-19 13:02:28

I miss my mum still very much and she passed away when I was 35 and I'm 52 now. She was a beautiful soul. I wish I could talk to her all the time❤

omega1 Sun 21-Jul-19 12:55:50

Surely your mother is still with you, inside of you. Her thoughts, ideas, personality, etc stay with you, even though she is no longer with you physically. You can even talk to her because you knew her so well just as if she is still here

grandtanteJE65 Sun 21-Jul-19 12:53:43

Five years is a very short space of time in consideration of the fact that you knew and loved your mum all your life.

I still miss my parents, but not as badly as at first, so it does get better.

moggie Sun 21-Jul-19 12:52:37

I still miss my mum she passed away 33 years ago. I was 9 months pregnant with my first baby, I was heartbroken. She was the best.

TwinLolly Sun 21-Jul-19 12:40:24

Mum passed away in April 2016 and I still miss her. It sounds selfish but it isn't - that her death was a blessing. She had suffered debilitating and painful rheumatoid arthritis for nearly 40 years.

Dad passed away a just over a year before her so it was a double whammy.✝

I have a good cry every now and then but then I try and think of the good times we had; and that they are in a better place.?

I send big hug to all of you who have lost loved ones. You are not alone. flowers

Joyfulnanna Sun 21-Jul-19 12:36:52

Oh Emelle that is so sad

Emelle Sun 21-Jul-19 12:34:35

I am sad for those of you who miss your Mums and I'm also quite envious Like a few others I have no feelings for my mother and only feel relief at her passing at 99, three years ago. She never cared for me, I can never remember sitting on her knee or having a cuddle and she never told me she loved me. It's been a long road to recover from that.

Magi Sun 21-Jul-19 12:19:10

Nobody loves you like your mam!

gilld69 Sun 21-Jul-19 12:18:49

My mum died 7 years ago she was 67 id lost my dad 6 months before at age 66 im 50 now not a single day goes by thst i dont want to ring her up to speak to her or see her theres very few days that i havemt shed at least one tear . I imagined it would be hard before she passed but never knew id miss her this much just goes to show how lived they were i suppose x

Rosina Sun 21-Jul-19 12:17:27

My Mum died when I was 34 - half a lifetime ago almost. We spoke every evening, and she had a dry wit; I occasionally think that I'll ring her and tell her something that would make her laugh - and then realise in that split second that I can't. Our relationship was far from perfect but I do miss her, still.

beautybumble Sun 21-Jul-19 12:15:17

Yes I miss mum so much it actually hurts. Its been 5 years now but I still wish every day that I could be with her again. Also dad who died in 1994. I love them both.

Nannyxthree Sun 21-Jul-19 12:09:57

Yes I do too. 15 years for me. Mothering Sunday is the hardest day to cope with. More so than her birthday or anniversary of her death.

annep1 Sun 21-Jul-19 12:07:49

I feel such sadness for those who have lovely memories and miss their parents so much. I once read on a death notice " To have, to love, and then to part, is the greatest trial of the human heart" and for many this is true.
I feel so sad too for those who didn't have the good childhood that we all should have, feeling loved and secure. Every child deserves this.
Sending hugs to everyone.

quizqueen Sun 21-Jul-19 11:57:42

I feel sad that both my parents worked very hard in factories and earned very little, they never lived anywhere nice in council property and died very soon into their retirement, both suffering long lingering deaths. They were good people and deserved so much better.

Disneyfan Sun 21-Jul-19 11:54:51

My mum passed 3yrs on Monday. Still miss her so much but we keep her memory alive. I converse with her in my mind and heart everyday so it feels shes still close to us all . Mother in law passed 10 weeks ago and it's the same with Her. Yes there are times when the tears flow and when I think "oh I must tell mum". But I still do. I hope you find comfort from all the post. Big hugs. X