When did you last say something meaning something else ?

chicken's post took me back to when my Nanna taught me to play cribbage. I've forgotten it all now, but "one for his nob" did ring a bell.

I looked it up here:

www.mastersofgames.com/rules/cribbage-rules.htm

About halfway down the page: There it is! (under "The Show")

Neither my Nanna nor I, age 9 or so, would have had any idea!

I've got tummy ache from laughing at this thread! Thanks everyone

I don't dispute the T-word used by grannysue05 might have other connotations as a local dialect word of some fondness but according to the Broadcasting Standards Authority, not in New Zealand where it is just as offensive as in the UK.

I'd stick to 'twit' if I were thee.

Thank you everyone just what I needed!!

Headteacher at school fete said now we are going to have the willy (welly) throwing competition?

Years ago my now late DH and I used to,play cribbage sometimes and the scoring definitely included ‘one for his nob’ . Think I laughed when first played , but then just accepted it! Probably not allowed now!

I saved these for when OH was out tonight as I knew I'd have a good laugh. A Freudian slip for your colleague I think Davida1968. That really made me laugh out loud. I guess the other teachers were trying not to giggle.

Always think "It's a big ask" sounds like "a big arse".

I was watching a tv quiz programme with my six year old granddaughter and said someone's response was a bit half-hearted. GD looked shocked and rushed to tell her parents that granny had said the word farted!
I was doubled up laughing and tried to explain the word to her without success. I'd never thought of it sounding like that before.

Chicken, my mother always said "one for his nibs"

angelic Haha! Haha! Oh dear, lol. My kind of humour. I couldn't have asked either. I'm still laughing!

I was telling SiL about the game of cribbage and that the scoring included "One for his nob". He and DD were absolutely horrified, but honestly, that's what the scoring was, no matter what k--b means now. I wonder if the old chaps in the pubs still use that scoring?

My ex used to call me that
I rather liked it.

The difference between "nice" and "rude" words is a minefield, isn't it.

I have known people who used "Silly bugger" as a term of affection, which would have been unthinkable in my childhood home.

I scandalised an American colleague when I said of a school child that we couldn't really expect good manners from him as his mother was a cheeky besom. Apparently, no American would use that word, which is common (no pun intended) in the west of Scotland.

So sorry GrammaH, how very hard for you.

It was once my job in a hospital to read through patients' notes to extract data. In those days, consultants dictated their reports into a machine and a typist then typed them up. My favourite gem was "During the war, the patient was a member of the Polish Gorilla Core". I think the consultant had actually said "Guerrilla Corps".

Twatt is a small settlement in the parish of Birsay on the Mainland of the Orkney Islands, Scotland. It was previously the location of a RNAS airfield, HMS Tern, 1940–1949.

Lxrl perhaps your friend means Physalis plant. Never mind though as long as it makes you chuckle ?

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss.
Glad if you can smile a bit though.

Thank you so much for these everybody. I haven't got one myself but my mum died very suddenly this morning & they've given me such a good laugh - she would've enjoyed them too

This is a great post, so good to be able to have a laugh as
Things have been sad things going on.

I had my neighbour in hysterics. Her Gardener was working in her garden and I wanted him to come and tidy my bush in the front.
I just could not get the words out to ask him?

My late MIL had a heart valve replaced and a few years later she was retelling the whole story (yet again) She announced, to a rather packed room, that they cracked her scrotum to get to her heart. There was a dead silence and then everyone just fell about laughing. She still insisted it was her scrotum and not sternum even when the difference was explained to her.?

Grannysue05 I call my husband a twat all the time! I also mean it affectionately cus he's a dope (though I do use it on the odd occasion not so lovingly! ?) Here in Somerset (as far as I'm aware) it's not normally used in a derogatory way.

Good point, greengran!

She sold them to a pigeon enthusiast; I wonder how he got them to return to his house rather than hers?

GrannySue05 this made me laugh. My husband is a Kiwi and over there t**t doesn't mean anything bad, often used when someone whacks a ball really hard - they t**ted it out the park.
First time my husband met my parents and he must have said it about 5 times, their faces were an absolute picture. I had to explain it had no meaning over there but it does here. He has also been known to slip up and say it in meetings but luckily they know him well enough to know it is a Kiwi thing.

My brother before walking beside me up the aisle at our mother's funeral asked why I'd chosen "one of the Enema Variations" as the coffin entered. This made me snort with undignified laughter. I suspect he did it deliberately!