Things children say [smile]

I had a pregnant friend. On the rush hour bus on the way to nursery my daughter call down the bus to me “how’s the baby going to get out of Mary’s tummy mummy. The other passengers went very quiet then a voice said “go on answer that” sniggers all round then silence. My answer - I’ll tell you when we get home. Coward came another voice.

We all laughed, it cheered the journey up no end.

My DD always called her duvet as bedclo when she was little. It stuck when she was older because she said, bedclothes was wrong as she only had one duvet.

Yes, midgey, apparently my face is cracked too. My older GS, when about 4 told DD he would like toast for breakfast....but not cooked!

Jaylucy, you are lucky to have crinkles, apparently my face is cracked!

I said to my 4yr old DG, "Would you pass that book to me please pet.......?." She replied - 'We're not pets grandma, we're darlings'. Fair enough.

My Grand-daughter attends a church school and during the Easter break was playing in our garden. She scratched her finger on something in the garden so I washed it and applied some antiseptic cream. She went back into the garden and Grandad asked if everything was alright now- ' oh yes,' she replied 'its all better now, Grandma put some Salvation cream on it'. She was referring to the Savlon cream I'd used!

When we were small we were taken to my Uncle and Aunts for tea. It was shortly after the war and we were given half a tinned peach with evaporated milk in a dish. My brother said Auntie I don't like raw eggs! He was six years younger than me he died in 2010 I miss him every day.

I was in my swimsuit and talking about my tummy being too"fluffy". My grandaughter who is six was sitting with me at our bonfire and said, "Grandma, you have more fluffy spots on your arms!" Gotta love their honesty!

When my daughter was small she had long hair and when I washed it I would wrap a towel round in a 'turban'. One bathtime she said 'I don't mind having my hair washed Mummy, but please don't put a turnip on my head'

We recently had a holiday with all our family. The 5 year old decided to have a competition for the best drawing but only herself and Grandpa knew about it. She decided that Grandpa's was the best. Later that day she produced a winner's certificate. She then went up to Grandpa and whispered in his ear telling me it was a secret. When I asked later what she had said DH replied that she had asked him to leave it on his bed for her when he dies as she was the runner-up! He is only 72. Hopefully it will be many years before we have to find it!

We were on holiday at a caravan park and our sons had been playing with other kids on the site. I asked DS1 who his new friend was. 'Oh', he said, 'do you mean the spotted boy, that's Ears'.

Turned out the lad was called Ian and had freckles....

My brother when little had a prolonged stay in hospital and, when back home, begged Mum not to give him "shiny pudding". One day, she dished up tapioca pudding and it was greeted with floods of tears and wails of "I told you not to give me shiny pudding"!

In London last week walking past St Pauls Cathedral my neice says ‘Wow the Romans were so good at building things’!! Ok then lol

My then 2 year old grandaughter quotes
In a mimit Nana. .....
Meaning minute. We now use mimit instead ?

My youngest daughter went on a nature trip with her nursery school. When she came home she was very excited because she had seen a pancake tree! Took us ages to figure out what she meant. Pancake =oatcake, oatcake=oak. She’d seen an oak tree

My four year old at Christmas asked “Gran why have you got that shiny wool on your wall? Meaning tinsel! And another time “Gran can we play picking flowers .com” .....only a child of today!

Apparently, after a holiday in our caravan in Malvern, DGD asked her Mum, our DD, if they could have the caravan when Nan and Grandad die!

My son, a bird lover, tried to teach his children the names of birds in the garden. On day a Wood Pigeon was walking about outside and he asked his younger daughter, aged three then, "What's the name of that bird?".
A look of desperation crossed her face and she eventually said "Trevor".
All Wood Pigeons are now known to us as Trevor.

I was once out for a walk with my then 3-yr old Son. He was walking by my side. An older gentleman was walking toward us.

My son points in the direction of the man walking towards us and starts shouting, "PERVERT!", "PERVERT!" .

At this point the gentleman was a little out of earshot (what with the noise of the passing traffic) and I start asking my son what he means (he can't possibly have had any understanding of the word etc) and ultimately trying to subtly get him to be quieter. He continues, more excitedly and even louder, "PERVERT!", "PERVERT!", "PERVERT!" and thrusting his arm with each shout, pointing in the direction of the man walking towards us.

The man is now in earshot, he's heard what my son is shouting, he looks shocked and as though he's about to protest his innocence, we make eye contact, I pick my son up and just as I do, I notice there's a large black crow perched on a wall a little further behind the man who's now pretty much next to us and I realise this (the bird) is what my son had had been pointing at and it occurs to me what he thought he'd been saying... I respond (LOUDLY) "Oh! you mean a PARROT [son's name], you think that bird is a PARROT?" and my son replies, "YES! A PARROT! A PARROT!"

I laugh (loudly), shoot the man an apologetic look and quickly walk on past him, highly embarrassed, cringing, though admittedly chuckling to myself.

I do hope that man got over it

A friend was getting dressed and her 4 year old helpfully passed over her bra.
‘Here’s your boobie-pants, mummy.’

my friends son wouldn't eat his burger at a nice local restuarant...because it was upside down? The waiter took it back to the kitchen where the chef apparently turned it the right way up for him..and he ate it

My friend's daughter came home from first day at school saying she didn't want to go again as they use plastic toilet paper! That was in the days of that Izal scratchy stuff!

My son at 3 called the hoover a hoomer. He's now 34 with his own kids and is an intelligent man......yet he still calls it a hoomer ?

Edit! the broken house!

When my DD and DS iL were extending their cottage my 2yr old DGS called it the brown house.