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Things children say [smile]

(139 Posts)
BradfordLass72 Thu 11-Jul-19 04:04:04

Reminiscing with a friend.
She sent her son (7) outside to watch Dad mending the car. When he came in Mum asked, 'Did Dad say what was wrong with it?'
'Yes,' said, the wee boy, 'some cake was stuck in there.'
Puzzled, she questioned her DH later. The boy had asked if the problem was serious and Dad had answered, 'No, son, it's a piece of cake.'

One of my sons, when he needed the lavatory would say, descriptively, 'My bottom's heavy.'

What's your offspring's droll or funny saying?

Foxglove77 Thu 11-Jul-19 12:41:45

My daughter when much younger came running outside shouting "all the horses have been evaporated". She was watching the start of the Grand National on the TV. Due to a false start all the horses had been eliminated!

gransal Thu 11-Jul-19 12:33:03

When Dgd was about 3, she was helping me look for mozzarella cheese in the supermarket. I was having trouble finding it so she said maybe they don't have mostly yella cheese in this shop .

Mapleleaf Thu 11-Jul-19 12:27:58

My DH was doing some diy once which required the use of his jig saw. Our neighbours little boy heard him say to me, “I need to get the jig saw for this”, to which the little boy piped up “I’ve got a jigsaw”.

Mossfarr Thu 11-Jul-19 12:27:32

When my son was about 5 we went on a caravan holiday with a large group of our family. My daughter said she needed the toilet - which was in a separate toilet block some distance away so I grumbled, " not again - you only went a few minutes ago"
My son piped up with "she must have a weak gladys" obviously he meant a weak bladder.
Needless to say it stuck and its still used today even though my son is now 36.
In a café my daughter (who is an extremely fussy eater) was reading the menu and couldn't find anything she would eat. After a few minutes she said "whats Kwitchie"?
It was quiche! She's never lived it down as she was 15 at the time!

annep1 Thu 11-Jul-19 12:26:07

My young grandson came running in excitedly from school where they had been celebrating some royal event.
To mv atheist daughter - "Mummy, mummy, you have to believe in God now, because he saved our queen!"
Another time my daughter was trying to explain how to dial 999 in an emergency. Don't worry mummy. No need, if you're ever ill I'll pray for you!

BlueSapphire Thu 11-Jul-19 12:23:12

DS, aged around two always asked for grumbled (scrambled) egg, And loved bejjies (strawberries).

annep1 Thu 11-Jul-19 12:17:23

Purplepoppies I would love to have heard your explanation.
Rosina you made me laugh out loud.
What a lovely thread. Thank you Bradfordlass72

Dancinggran Thu 11-Jul-19 12:15:50

When my daughter was 5 (she's now 35) she said to my mum 'Grandma, when you were a little girl had the wheel been invented?' My mum was only 54 at the time!!!

Esmenonna Thu 11-Jul-19 12:13:52

Walking my son home from his first day at school, he told me he couldn't believe everyone had ' the same clothes on!' He hadn't really enjoyed it much so I assured him that tomorrow would be different. 'I'm going back?!' he exclaimed.
Just the other day I asked my 3year old GD what she wanted to be when she was older. ' I want to be.....just like you.'

SueLindsey Thu 11-Jul-19 12:12:19

I was once travelling on a coach with my 3 year old daughter when she pointed at the (bald) man in front of us and said loudly "That man's got skin on his head". At a similar age she pointed to a tattoed man and said "That man's been drawing on himself!!"

user2058 Thu 11-Jul-19 12:06:41

When my son was about 3 we had a plumber in at our new house doing 'snagging'. As is customary,the plumber had a pencil behind his ear. My son followed him about all day and eventually whispered to me "How does he do his writing like that?"

Hattiehelga Thu 11-Jul-19 12:04:03

My son is 45 now but we still call the garden hammock "the Haddock". We used to call having a wee "going for a tinkle" and my mobile hairdresser asked him one day if he was going to have a tinkle on the piano. Very indignantly he said "NO, in the cloakroom !".

Purplepoppies Thu 11-Jul-19 12:01:53

Dd , then aged 10, packed bus after school. Rather loud voice... Mum, what's a blow job? Everyone stopped and looked waiting for my answer ? I told her when we got home, in child terms, obviously. She'd heard it from a boy at school ?

Urmstongran Thu 11-Jul-19 11:58:32

I’m giggling away here! Wonderful stuff.
??

Rosina Thu 11-Jul-19 11:50:31

Listening to some pop music one day my serious little DS asked me 'Did they have music like this when you were alive?'
Most of these have made me laugh out loud - thank you everyone!

GrannyLaine Thu 11-Jul-19 11:49:32

My one and a bit year old son listening to his Daddy shaving in the bathroom exclaimed "Face hoover!"

Swanny Thu 11-Jul-19 11:41:27

Deni1963 we call them 'mimits' too, thanks to DGS. He also combined a hug with a cuddle so we now have 'huggles'. Don't you just love them grin

Patticake123 Thu 11-Jul-19 11:29:59

I’ve written this one before but it still makes me chuckle. Having complimented my SiL on a delicious meal my 5 year old granddaughter exclaimed ‘yes nanny , my daddy is a good cooker, he’s a better cooker than you’. Love it!

Coconut Thu 11-Jul-19 11:28:12

Son no:1 was very put out at the arrival of son no:2. I explained that we’d had another baby so he’d have someone to play with “I’m not playing with him, he’s not even a proper person” ?

Apricity Thu 11-Jul-19 11:26:58

Long, long ago I said to my daughter, then aged about 3, that I was just going to 'dive into the toilet'. It took me a few moments to understand the look of horror on her face as she wondered what on earth I was about to do!

Coconut Thu 11-Jul-19 11:24:29

8year old grandson : “mummy made us go in the ladies changing room at the pool today as Daddy was working away. We saw 2 bums, 4 lots of boobs but at least we didn’t see any vagina’s “ ?

Grammaretto Thu 11-Jul-19 11:21:34

My friend's children were clamouring for her to buy them treats at the supermarket. She told her 6yr old that he could have the sweetie bar if he could read the ingredients - out loud.
He got down to carnauba wax and his sister said ergh that's car wax!
I love carwax said the boy!

missdeke Thu 11-Jul-19 11:18:31

I was practising for our village music hall show, all the usual songs including Waiting at the church. At a special family church service my husband told us to wait in the porch whilst he got the car as it was raining, my daughter looked at me with wide eyes and asked 'Is this the lurch mummy?'

Whilst on a ferry to Sweden my middle daughter then aged 2 looked at the vapour trails left by a plane in the sky and shouted excitedly 'sky pencil' Still known as sky pencils in our family.

Willow500 Thu 11-Jul-19 11:14:51

When my eldest son was about 7 or 8 he was getting excited about Christmas and decided to write a list of what he was going to have for his Christmas dinner. I wish I'd kept it but can remember the first item was 7 cuttings of'chicky' and it finished with 'one of everything else there is'! We still tease him about it now - he's 47!

My DIL had been giving my 5 year old GS ham sandwiches for his lunch for several days as he wouldn't eat anything else. A couple of weeks ago she told him he didn't need any that day as he would be coming home at lunch time. He said thank goodness I don't have to eat any more of that damned ham!! grin

Yaya79 Thu 11-Jul-19 11:09:43

Nanny why have you got fur growing up your nose ? Oh dear!