Calling round to see if a neighbour is all right after an ambulance has been called is a neighbourly thing to do. You may both be misinformed about each other; give her the benefit of the doubt.
If you are worried LOCK YOUR DOOR.
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In total panic
(193 Posts)Had awful shock Monday , this is not connected to My agoraphobia .
I moved to this bungalow two and half years ago. Very quiet
Cul de Sac. Only know the gentleman next door but one to speak to on telephone.
There is a woman living next door, never seen her, have often seen police and ambulance there and carers. I was advised to have no contact with the woman .
Monday afternoon a woman knocked my door, asked me If
I was alright my next door neighbour was worried about me, I was baffled and said there must be a mistake I was fine.
Then the woman came to the door, said I saw an ambulance here.
Last Thursday my spine locked, I couldn’t move, surgery sent ambulance, very embarrassing, two paramedics got me mobile. Having x ray today
Anyway this woman started talking about my daughter who died, said they were best friends, my daughter phoned her the night she died and was going to the woman’s house but went to the bridge instead, and said my son in law had been brutal to my daughter. I was shaking.
My daughter didn’t know her , certaintly didn’t phone her. I have my daughter’s mobile.
I have been told she has a drug problem and she played hell
with the people who use to live in my bungalow, disturbing
them at night, the woman said she would look after me !
No one in the Cul de Sac has anything to do with her, she never goes out.
I don’t lock my front door, always left it unlocked for my daughter. I know you will tell me t lock the door, I cannot
This all sounds hysterical but I am afraid of her .
Annie It's not at all silly to be rattled by that.
You clearly won't want to take up a siege mentality and I think that's how it would feel if you started locking your door when it's never been necessary before.
This woman didn't try your door and is likely never to do so. You can report her to the police if she does that.
If the woman does come to your door again, tell her straight away that you don't want to speak to her and don't want her to come round.
If she persists and/or if she looks in your windows you can report her to the police.
Here's hoping you never see her again.
change CHAIN, for goodness' sake!
At the very least, Annie, get a sturdy door change fitted. My son fitted one for me and I also have a 'fish eye' in the front door so that I can see who's there before I open it. All the advice you've been given here is good and you need to take heed of it.
Could your daughter get a key cut so that she can let herself in?
A storm in a thimble.
One call in 2.5 years and an unlocked door.
Sense gone out of the window.
Well then Anniebach calling once is hardly harassment.
If the person you are allegedly worried about calling on you, tried the handle of your unlocked door even if she (or anyone else) didn't step over the threshold, it would be your fault.
You're an adult woman with mostly sensible viewpoints but you fail to see that some of what you say is ridiculous. Lock your door.
Try telling police you want assurance that she won't bother you but you won't lock your door.
Why waste police time?
Anniebach If the police came round to your house and told you a brutal homicidal maniac had escaped and was believed to be in your area and you should lock your door until he was caught. Surely you would do so. You must do so now.
I understand how you feel about your daughter and not locking the door, but circumstances have changed and surely your surviving family have advised you to keep your door locked. Would your daughter have advised you differently?
I would speak to the police. I believe you are the widow of a police officer, I think they would treat you with kindness.
I would also complain to the Housing Association and keep a diary of any other incidents.
Your health and security should come first. if you leave your door unlocked and harm comes to you, you will be considered to have contributed to the event by being reckless about your personal safety. You must act for your own self-protection.
You cannot change other people's behaviour, but you can change your own. You must take responsibility for your own actions.
If you don't lock your door, then you only have yourself to blame. Give your daughter a spare key, and get a key safe so that in case of emergency, someone can get in.
Annie you really do need to lock the doors. Get a key safe.
Is Wales really that small that it's only got one cul-de-sac with a mad woman living on it?
My thoughts exactly lessimore, sadly something that should not be shared has been put on a forum that can be read by anyone. My suggestion is to do what you have been resisting, this modern world is far from safe.
Can you not go out with your younger daughter? That is very extreme. I have suffered with agoraphobia in the past, after the birth of my first child. Never felt really comfortable outside, even with DH and the baby, but it got me out.
You HAVE TO lock your front door Annie. Everyone has to these days. Not to keep this woman out, doubt if she would bother to come in, but, like everyone else, to guard against burglary.
Please,nobody attack me because I am not able to handle that.
Is there a risk of over sharing information?
Annie I've pm'd you.
You don't need this Annie
Tell your younger D and she will arrange for keysafe, Carecall etc
Keep your door locked at all times.
Good luck.
I'm so sorry you have been upset by this woman Anniebach . Lots of good advice on here especially a chain for the door and nets or blinds for the windows.
Don't allow this to take over though, you need to get on with your life and ignore this woman who is clearly seeking attention. Be strong.
Another thought Annie might it be possible that this woman is desperately lonely and saw talking about your DD as a way to break the ice ? I know it was a clumsy way of doing it but just wondering ?
I can understand your feeling fearful. Is there a reason you don't lock your door? If it is so ambulance can gain access is it possible you could leave a key with your other neighbour or as previously suggested get a key safe.
If she calls again, don't open the door - perhaps just speak to her from an open window. Don't engage in conversation with her - if she tries to bring up your daughter, say you don't want to talk about it and close the window.
She shouldn’t have used my elder daughter as an excuse to
talk to me, I don’t want her to tell me again how many died on that bridge
I talk about my daughter here if I need to.
Oh Annie, just seen this and know that you must be so upset by this woman’s actions. There has been very good advice given, re chain and/ or nets. Do you have a PCSO in your area, that could pop in and talk to you?
I hope you get it sorted quickly, but we are here to ‘talk’ to.
I don’t do tittle tattle and I said she called once Gabriella.
If she opens my front door it is her fault not mine .
Annie how frightening for you - this woman sounds to have a lot of problems and you need to stay clear of her. I know you won't lock your door but you do need to feel safe in your own home (as well as actually being safe). A strong safety chain is a must - could your SIL who isn't fit one for you? There is another latch which you can get which allows you to have the door/window open but it is safely locked. Definitely contact the local police to make them aware of the situation and don't answer the door to her any more - are you able to see who is there without going to the door? Do you have blinds or nets - if not can you get some online and have someone fit them for you.
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