In total panic

So the poor woman has to stay in her locked house with shut windows in case someone breaks in?

Hello Annie I have only just seen your thread
I am so sorry your space and calm has been invaded.
I will send a PM.

Grammaretto, only at night. To guard against burglars. Don't you do the same?

Gabriella there are ways to talk to people without sounding like you are being hard, dictatorial and without an ounce of compassion Presumable you’ve never felt vulnerable or scared, well done to you
If you think your comments are just good solid common sense that’s not how they come across
We re all different and you obviously think the no nonsense direct approach is the way to go but if someone is down or feeling vulnerable I can assure you it’s not helpful

Oh for heaven's sake! Locking your door at night is simple common sense.

Gonegirl I don't think the OP is saying she leaves her door unlocked at night - I assumed it was just during the day, I know several people who do the same

Remember, Annie has been leaving her door unlocked, I deduce 24/7, because when her daughter was deeply mentally ill she wanted her to be able to get to her at any time of night and day, in case if she found the house locked, she would walk away and possibly commit suicide, which, tragically, she did eventually do (commit suicide, not find the door locked.

Not locking the door has since taken on an almost religious meaning for Annie, in relation to the death of her daughter, a symbol of how far she would have gone to protect her if she could. So locking the door means far far more to her, than the sensible obvious thing to do it is to the rest of us.

That Annie must lock her door, for all kinds of necessary safety reasons is obvious to all of us, but she needs to be gently helped to overcome this deeply embedded feeling that locking the door is so connected with her daughter and her openess to help her at any time in any way, that locking the door is a rejection of her daughter and all she would have done for her to save her.

Hmm Monica. I'm not sure Annie is that "damaged". She has still got all her marbles!

I think front doors should be locked 24/7 when an older person is home alone.

Sorry to talk about you AB!

Perhaps Annie should consider her options and consider what she puts out here.
Clearly some of this could make it very easy for her to be identified.

How?

Thank you all so much,x

I was so distressed this morning, and was facing going from the bungalow for an x ray , been arranging my mother in law’s funeral and things just piled up, sorry.

I phoned the one person I know here, he gave me details, my younger daughter arrived today, she went to the library
and checked back issues of the local paper, what my neighbour told me was correct. My neighbour will speak to the warden tomorrow, because I don’t know anyone in the
Cul de Sac I didn’t know there is a procedure regarding the woman .

My son in law who isn’t has called and fitted a very strong door chain .

I was distressed because the lies were so horrible, and using my darling daughter’s death as an excuse to ask questions , she went too far.

My younger daughter lives a five hour drive away so no point in her having a key our taking regular walks with me .

Again you were all there for me when I reached out, and I
thank you. X

Poor Annie suffering from a long traumatic time, long before her D died , and now subjected to vilification by unfeeling people who have lived untroubled lives.
A dysfunctional family is so hard to deal with, I know to my cost.
It does make me empathetic to others in a similar situation.
Thank God those of you who criticise have never been there.
You are so lucky.

Try not to worry anymore Annie. Have a peaceful restful evening. x

Yes Monica exactly,

when I can erase my promise from my mind
‘I will never lock the door my darling, day or night ‘ , I will lock it but cannot do it yet

annsixty Don't be silly.

What's the worst that can happen? I don't think locking all the doors necessarily makes you safer. I realise insurance companies - bless them - won't pay out.
When burglars are determined they break in anyway.

In the bad old days when we left our dog or occasionally children in the car for 5 minutes we always left the door unlocked in case there was a fire and a passer by had to rescue them.

Sorry Gonegirl would you explain that post please.

It seems you want to turn this thread into a row. Not a good idea in my opinion. It's about helping Annie.

I will withdraw then , all I want to do is what you are all doing, helping.
I truly thought others who shall be nameless had already tried to turn the thread into criticising.
Silly me.

A frightening and upsetting experience for you Annieflowers]. It's awful that anyone could use the tragic loss of your DD in this way. Thank goodness you now have a strong security chain fitted.

We keep our front door locked at all times, even when we're both in and if one of us is out we make sure the key isn't in the lock so the other one can open the door.

If you do the same then your daughter will always be able to unlock the door with her own key. The chain will prevent her from entering but she'll be able to call out to you.

It's so important that you feel safe and secure in your own home so do what ever it takes to ensure you do. I hope the x ray went OK and that you'll feel settled enough for a good night's sleep.

Ok BlueBelle , have it your own way. You are right and I am wrong. Better? I'm not bothered. I'd give the same safety advice to anyone regardless of their circumstances or back story.
You obviously tailor it to fit the 'recipient'
I don't like being told how to comment to another poster. I'm sure the OP has enough about her to whip me herself.
Finis.

Safety comes first Annie,
As a caring person yourself I’m sure you would not want your family worrying about you, I expect they would be horrified at the thought of you not locking your door under the present circumstances.

I'm so sorry to read of this experience and completely understand why this has troubled you.
Sending kindest thoughts to you

I also agree with alot of what GabriellaG54s has posted