I have just out-screeched Boris's missis.
Son, home on a visit, asked if he could use my exercise bike. I said yes, albeit reluctantly. (mine, all mine).
Went in there when he had finished. Sweat all over the mat and even on surrounding carpet!!! Disgusting!!! Eurgh!!! I told him not sweat on my carpet. 
No China was thrown, but I definitely out did Boris and co.
No police on doorstep. Yet.
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Calm down dear 
Bicarb solution or just soda water out of a bottle works wonders on spilled body fluids.
I’m still trying to picture how the sweat got onto the carpet though. Did it run off him or spurt out in droplets?
I haven't got a clue ja. I didn't stand and watch.
Look! I'm not so cruel! I put a lovely roast chicken dinner in front of him regardless.
It's a bit hot to be cooking a roast dinner, well done you.
It's a pity your DH cut the grass, we could have had the paparazzi hiding in the undergrowth, photos in the Guardian tomorrow.
Blimey! That's some sweat he worked up.
Did he slither off the seat?
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