News update on Family Group Meeting

Oops!
ecpect/tp/her
expect/to/health

Woah! With respect, it seems out of order to ecpect you and your DH tp do the job she should be doing.
You can be sure that it would escalate and your own her would suffer.
We love our children but don't always like them so don't be afraid to politely but firmly decline to be any part of it unless it's (in your eyes) a real emergency.
2 children is no big thing and your DD needs to have a firm attitude with her son and step up to the plate.
SS needs to decide, with yoyr daughter, on a plan to get your DGS back in school and help with his behaviour together with your DD.
She cannot abdicate responsibility as she is his mother, therefore she makes and implements the rules.
I hope you stick to your guns and tell her that love isn't all about doing tbings fir her thst she should be doing herself. That would be enabling her to offload her mothering duties onto you which could make you resentful and impact your health.
Lots of good wishes and stay strong.

Jane, he is being monitored by SS and school, but the different levels have to be ticked off as they escalate, bureaucracy, before anything will be done

I am so sorry Hildagard and I think you and your DH should not have been made to feel guilty.
Schools do have access, in some areas at least, to Psychological Welfare Practitioners. Could you approach the school and ask if a referral for your GS might be possible?

I can see both sides of the issue of involving you in the care plan.

Absolutely, you have the right to say you're not willing to pick up the slack. OTOH, SS may decide that if you're unwilling to pick up the slack, your DGS may be better off in foster care.

I'm sorry things did not go better.

Exactly, Sparkly Gran

We are now looking at the possibility of having DGS referred privately, but I think the cost will be prohibitive.My DD only works 3 hours a day, her argument is she needs time to herself, she is a single Mum. She has time to herself, grrrr.

It’s common for professionals to push or assume help from family members.

Ask for a one to one for you and DH and relevant social worker/s, either to express what you can do, or no to giving more help.

Be assertive or they will write you into the care plan.

My comment is I'm so so sorry. What on earth is wrong with people? A Primary school child should not be having MH issues.

Are there any support services for you and your partner? Could you try a different SW?

Does your daughter have a job?