Is it beyond the wit of humanity (note, not "man") to...(lighthearted thread)

rufus
humptydumpty jars with lids that cannot be opened. Using cloth to hold jar give the edge of the lid a hard bash on a solid hard surface. This should release the pressurised seal and allow you to open the jar. Hope you enjoy the marmalade ..... but if the jar breaks I’m not cleaning it up. ?

I once bought a bottle of oil from Waitrose. I couldn’t unscrew it, DH couldn’t unscrew it neither could young strong neighbour. Back to Waitrose with the bottle and complained to staff member ....who promptly lifted the flip up cap on the lid

Bleach bottles are made unopenable for safety but once I’ve smashed my way in I have to leave the bottle open, so defeating the safety intention completely.
The designers of all these hard-to-use items should be required to try them out on their grannies before they can be sold.

Tablets in a blister pack that have had a sticky label added. I don't have arthritis in my hands, but heaven help anyone that does, because those tablets are so had to remove.

Those ready to roast chickens in bags, all seasoned and herby. The instructions on cooking times are on the underside of the pack. To read them, you need to either turn the whole thing upside down and redistribute the gunk that goes with raw chicken all around the pack, or elevate the pack to a height where you can get underneath it, tilt your neck to almost breaking point, to read the perishing thing!

Obvs designed by people who never have to cook the things! That wouldn't be men, now, would it?

2old4hotpants
You really made me laugh so much, that was brilliant. How can I send it to my daughter with 2 cats? Give her a laugh too. Thanks

Am concerned for Willow10 ! Presumably your innards are nice and pure now!

Evie64 yes they should, but they arent, hence my post of 15.43!

Oh, and cans of mackerel fillets that don't spurt the tomato sauce all over the worktop when you open them and cans of corned beef where the tin seal doesn't snap after two turns of the key.

The words Shampoo and Conditioner should be printed VERY LARGE. Who wears their glasses in the shower?

To make jeans and trousers that fit pear shapes without gaping at the waist. To make them in 28inch leg as well as 27,29 &31.

Try getting Weetabix out of the wrapping without breaking them?

I spend a lot of time banging jars on hard surfaces it they are glass one day I expect to find the contents blood coloured and slithers of glass all mixed up so all goes in the bin

I have good eyes but for some reason many labels are printed in tiny writing that needs a magnifying glass to read.

2old4hotpants
You are responsible for a pair of wet knickers!

It is obvious that the plug hole trap on a shower tray, and the detergent drawer on a washing machine were invented by a man who never had to clean them.

I have not laughed for so long in such a long time thank you 2hot4 hotpants that was brilliant. I could not get my breath where I laughed so much

I don't know how many jar lids I've had to run under hot water before I can open them. Any household appliance or foodstuff I find hard to manage I always say it could only be designed by a man who's never going to use it. I have a Shark stick Hoover not cordless and bought by my DH. The main part where the dust goes is near the handle so that's where all the weight goes. It absolutely kills me to use it I end up with painful,shoulder, back and side. I agree with everything else that's been posted. Grans on here should have to test everything before used by general public,we'd soon sort them out.

2old4hotpants ????

No it's so that they all fall on the floor and you have to buy more !!!!!

Day6 I’ve cracked the biscuit issue. Use a sharp knife and slice the packet between the biscuits An day heh ho, packet open and no biscuit casualty!

DoraMarr, here's a tip for you, put an elastic band around the conditioner bottle, you can remember which is which by thinking ABC, "Always Band Conditioner"

2oldforhotpants and mielp thank you for making me laugh until I got hiccups!

To break the seal on a jar which won’t open, pop the end of a blunt knife under the rim of the jar and gently twist/pry it - you should hear the air rush in and the lid should twist off easily .

I wish there was a way of opening cereal packets without ending up with multiple paper cuts from the boxes.

And why, oh why, must the wee plastic bags with sweets in be so hard to open? Is it a ploy to stop me eating them?

2oldfor hotpants, thanks for the best laugh I've had in ages.

A vet visited our house to check on our poorly cat and I explained the pill problem. He was a very large, strong willed black cat with large teeth and claws. The sort which used to be mistaken for escaped black panthers. The vet (a small, slight young thing), removed her overalls picked up cat, slid him headfirst down one trouser leg. Just his head popped out and she’d pushed the pill far down his throat before he had time to spit. Because of the angle of his head - as if he was looking up - and his inability to move, the pill went straight down.

It works with denim trousers too!

I agree about the milk bottle top thing. I’ve often resorted to my mother’s method of stabbing two holes in the top. One to pour through and the other to let the air back in.

I wish someone could invent face recognition for house doors so I didn’t have to fudge around in my bag for front door keys with bags of shopping.

And pockets in women’s clothes. Why can’t we have proper man sized pockets.

Another method for feeding pill to cat:
1) Entice cat to within arms length with handful of cat treats
2) Whilst sweet-talking to cat, grab by scruff of neck
3) Kneel on floor with cat wedged between knees, head facing forwards
4) Gently prize open cats mouth using fingers of left hand behind jaw
5) Drop pill as far down cats throat as possible. Close jaws, massage neck gently, count to one hundred. Do not block cats nostrils whilst doing this or cat will expire
6) Let go of cat and watch as cat runs out of room, spitting out tablet en route to back door
7) Rugby tackle cat, catch by trailing back leg/tail, repeat steps 3-6
8) Repeat steps 3-7
9). Give up, put tablet on coffee table and go and make coffee heavily fortified with spirit of choice
10) Return to room with coffee table, watch cat jump onto table, look at you with puzzled expression as if to say 'you want me to eat this tablet, right?'
11) Watch cat calmly eat tablet and lick lips

To 2old4hotpants that is a classic!