Do you ever wonder why people’s lives are so different?

I agree with MOnica. No one I know goes to church to 'book a place in heaven'; it's not really about what we do but about our relationship with Jesus - though that should in theory lead to living a caring, responsible life. But many committed believers have suffered badly and 'undeservedly', just as non-believers do; it is an imperfect world and no one is guaranteed a peaceful or healthy life, though there are clearly things we can do or avoid to make that more likely.

I wish things had improved gillybob. Sadly these days grammars may as well be fee paying because of all the expensive tutoring/hothousing that artificially raises the points required to pass 11+ and then to do well once in grammar

I grew on a North East council estate in the 1960's , my dad still lives there although not in the same house. The thing is we were all in the same boat. Most of our dads worked in heavy industry and our mams worked part time in a shop or factory. Very few of us had cars or foreign holidays (we certainly didn't).

When I passed the 11 plus and went to high school things were VERY different and I began to see "the other side", where dads worked in an office, wore a suit to work and drove a car. Mums often stayed at home and kept house and the ones that did work, worked in local government or in a professional capacity.

Some would say that because I had passed my 11 plus that I was on an even keel with the rest of them, but this is so far from reality. I had nothing whatsoever in common with those I went to school with. They lived in "owned" houses in nice areas, their family had a car, they had foreign holidays. Most of them stayed on in 6th form and went to college or university whereas I had to get a job (any job would have done) and earn money. If they didn't do well in their own right, daddy or mummy would get them into the civil service or whatever.

This may sound bitter, it isn't mean to at all. It's just how things were.

On Saturday night I was chatting to someone I went to school with, who later became a teacher herself. I told her that I had hated grammar school as I felt like a duck out of water. She said that she had met our old (all girls grammar school) head teacher a few years after qualifying and she had said "that if it had been up to her, she would not have allowed council estate children in the school at all as they lowered the standards".

madmum38. I understand your comment about " if my life was made in a tv programme people would say it was too far fetched". Mine too.
I love what you say about your home being filled with love! It is very moving for me to read that.
You are the salt of the earth. Bless you!

I am currently reading a series of books covering the lives of Jewish people during the Second World War. It puts everything in perspective. What amazing people they were! I am overwhelmed by their courage and endurance. We must never forget - I am sure we will not. It desperately distresses me that a minority of ignorant people are reviving a kind of evil Nazi attitude. These people are incredibly misled and dangerously misinformed. I am proud that in Britain we stand by the Jewish People and do all we can to support them.

I think having to earn my own money as a teenager and learning to save up for things, therefore really valuing them was a great start for me. Also having a father who worked all the hours he could without complaining, I am so proud of him.
My marriage to someone so cruel was the loss of my freedom in what should have been my best adult years. I know money worries are terrible, but being with someone cruel is worse. I am very hard-up now and have constant pain but I value my freedom to be myself. I value good people above anything else on this earth, after that my dogs (probably equal actually!). I know we are only here for a passing time and I try to spend at least some time each day with the Lord. Without Him I could not cope.

Been told so many times that if my life was made in a tv programme people would say it was too far fetched. Life is far from easy, never has been and since losing my husband money is even less and I don’t know which way to turn but my children have all grown up polite and understand the value of things, something that people with a lot of money don’t.
May not have two beans to rub together but I will always help anyone.
Our home is full of love and as long as it is we will make it through

I know there is a lot of inequality notanan, I grew up, not in poverty, but on a council estate, and certainly not in the bosom of a loving family, no one has ever given us any money, or left us any money, yet I still consider us fortunate.

We’ve had our fair share of bad things happening, we’d both lost someone very close in our early twenties, we’ve been through periods where it seems that everything that can go wrong, does go wrong, we’ve taken chances, and they haven’t always paid off, I think our children who have had a more middle class upbringing than either of us, think we sail too close to the wind at times

I know I’ve been lucky, I could have ended up, like a lot of girls I went to school with, living within a stones throw of my parents, working in a local factory.

I know it’s an unequal world, but unfortunately it’s unlikely that will ever change

I think that life is very random in what it deals out to us. By a certain age, I think most of us realise that accidents, ill health, financial worries etc will strike, regardless of background, status, religion etc. Just makes you appreciate the lovely things that happen too!

Exactly gillybob. And that means not taking a year out from earning to explore pie in the sky business ideas (that could make either millions, or zilch).

I know people whose business ideas have gone national and are now well known brands. They worked VERY hard (no harder than many work on min wage though) but were in a position in the first place to explore their ideas which meant being able to take a break from earning a consistant wage

I absolutely know what you mean notanan . I have never been bailed out in my life. There is no family money, no help up the ladder, no inheritance to fall back on, nothing......zilch.....bloody get on with it or stave .

The tenacity and drive that may make someone comfortable take chances in careers etc is the same tennacity and drive required by others just to get ends to meet.

There is a lot of inequality within Britain too. There are people who have to battle for the basics daily and that doesnt allow room for taking other "opportunities"

Okay! Good point!

But my point is still valid, maybe not in Aleppo, But here, in the UK, where we are neither victims of war or famine, you will always have people who look for opportunities, and others who don’t, and I think it’s about the person, not their wealth or lack of it, and of course a bit of good luck

I concede that a child born in Aleppo would need a shed full of good luck, to change the course of his/her life

I think luck is equally apportioned, but some people spot it, and take full advantage of it, while others hesitate to act, and then the opportunity is gone

Right. A baby kid in Aleppo gets the same chances as kids in leafy surrey.... they're just not grabbing life by the balls as much??

Having said that notanan, I feel bad luck strikes randomly, rich or poor, successful or failure, but I suppose even then, people deal with it in different ways

I think luck is equally apportioned, but some people spot it, and take full advantage of it, while others hesitate to act, and then the opportunity is gone

I think we’re back to the willingness to take a chance

"Luck" = opportunities or hurdles that do or dont present themselves to you

Good luck presents itself more in some environments, and less in others.

Its still what you make it but you get more or less chancea to grab it depending on where life positioned you in the first place. (I dont just mean geography)

Petra

So back to luck again! And I imagine a lot of hard work!

This thread got me to thinking about the young ( 35-45) women I work with in a voluntary capacity.
We all come from more or less the same beginnings, council house, basic schooling.
These women's lives are more or less no different to how they grew up whereas mine is is not a world away but a planet.
The difference: I got the breaks, they didn't.

Notanan

I’m sure cancer is terrifying and utterly debilitating for rich or poor, you can’t buy yourself to good health

But like every aspect of life, it’s harder if you’re poor, and of course I get that the rich cancer patient will be able to afford things to make life easier, but I still don’t think that it will necessarily make him any happier than the poor patient

Money can't buy happiness but it doesn't half help to oil the wheels.

Statistically it does. There are of course exceptions.

And not all born with privilidges have the personality or luck to take full advantage of it either but....

Take serious illness. A huge trauma whatever your economic situation, but look at what we applaud as "positivity" (as a society): the cancer patient embracing trying different wig and head wrap styles, the amputee who can afford sports limbs & adapted vehicles to travel to accesible sport facilities etc. These of course take courage and personality, but are not an option for people facing illness and poverty

That’s true. But many people from low income homes do well, I know it’s harder, and here, we’re back to that little bit of luck again!

Maybe it’s more to do with personality, some people aren’t programmed to take risks however rich or poor they are. Whilst others take risks all the time.

Obviously it’s better to be born into a wealthy loving home, but just because you’re not, it doesn’t mean you’re born to fail

Well statistics would disagree Sara.

It takes monet to make money. Children from low income families on average earn less than children from high income families. It doesnt mean that one works harder than the other, however, higher earnibgs often require an initial period of internship, training, or risk that isnt as easy to absorb if you have to help your family pay the rent/bills