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Need to vent.

(61 Posts)
Bopeep14 Wed 05-Jun-19 09:14:10

Husband is on annual leave this week, my children organise there annual leave around him so i have no one to look after while he is at home.
We agreed we would get on with some home improvements this week while he is off.
So far we have done absolutely nothing, he stays up late every night until 3am rarely gets up until lunch time.
He does have a stressful job and I realise he needs downtime but we agreed and he promised he would at least start the jobs if not finish them.
We have been living with no wallpaper in the hallway for 5 years I got my hopes up it would get done, silly me.
We got invited to go away with friends in a caravan this week but we said no we have jobs to do at home, wish we had gone now.
Oh how I wish I could do it myself.

Kerenhappuch Wed 05-Jun-19 11:48:34

My husband used to decorate, but he is really bad at it - jagged lines where he's cut the top of the wallpaper, generally not prepping very well, wallpaper peeling off etc. In fact, the only wallpaper he managed to stick firmly to the wall was woodchip, which is still haunting us in parts of the house?

When I was able to, I used to start jobs because I was fed up of waiting and we couldn't afford decorators, but he'd take over without asking and mess it up.

I now have chronic fatigue, so my plan is to get some quotes for decorating the really bad bits as we finally have a bit of disposable income.

Poppyann1 Wed 05-Jun-19 11:22:16

I'd get a couple of quotes, I've not asked my husband to decorate for 25 years,he gets to stressed,takes ages,more so in preparation,I can't be doing with the hassle of it all.

Gonegirl Wed 05-Jun-19 11:07:20

Your son did good there gillybob. grin

MiniMoon Wed 05-Jun-19 11:02:59

I absolutely hate wallpapering, although I can do it. My husband is hopeless at it! We always have to get a professional into do the job for us. I wouldn't put up with living for 5 years with a n unpapered wall.
Hire someone to do it.

Jaycee5 Wed 05-Jun-19 10:58:05

If your husband has a stressful job and seems to have trouble getting to sleep, surely he deserves a decent break. It takes more than a few days to unwind and is going to be more difficult when you have a job ready for him to do as soon as he has relaxed.
He has left it for 5 years but so have you. Unless you are in a flat, stairways are difficult because of height of the stairs and it is the one area that justifies a decorator.
Not all men like or are good at DIY. Having done a job myself that was very difficult to switch off from, he has my sympathy. Find another solution and help him relax.

Daisymae Wed 05-Jun-19 10:56:44

Call someone in to do it. Seriously 5 years?

gillybob Wed 05-Jun-19 10:48:48

On a lighter note …

Many years ago my dad (short tempered and a miserable old b*gg*r ) wallpapered the toilet that my mum had really wanted tiled. He was grumbling and grousing the whole time and when he had finished he said "there its bl**dy well done....you happy now?"

We all trouped upstairs to see it and low and behold he had put it all on upside down ! My mum, ever the peace keeper told us not to mention it as it would "push him over the edge" so we didn't, we just smiled knowingly.

A few days later my son (who would have been about 9-10 at the time) went to use the toilet and came down stairs saying loudly "grandad, I think all the wallpaper in the toilet is upside down" shock We all just stopped in our tracks and held our breath, you could hear a pin drop !

If he would have just left it there it might've been okay but he proceeded to take my dad by the hand and led him upstairs to see for himself ! 2 days later he ripped it all off in temper and my mum got her tiles .

lizzypopbottle Wed 05-Jun-19 10:40:18

I'm widowed these eleven years. My husband always took on any decorating jobs and made a proper song and dance about wallpapering, ripping whole lengths off in temper if the job wasn't going well! ? I papered the end wall of my kitchen diner last Halloween night. It was the first wallpapering I'd done for more than thirty years. It went well, even round the window and the kitchen cupboards. My point is, wallpapering isn't so hard especially if you get paste-the-wall paper.

However, if you're not confident or fit enough to tackle it, can you get the stuff out, set it up and start measuring the wall? He might take the hint! Alternatively, you can enrol at your local technical college for their next beginners home decorating course.

inishowen Wed 05-Jun-19 10:38:54

I would pay a decorator to do the wallpapering. Life is too short. Your husband probably needs to chill out this week.

kazziecookie Wed 05-Jun-19 10:36:02

I am not sure if you have problems physically doing the wallpapering, but I always do it in our house (and we have a four storey Victorian town house) as DH not very good at it.
I taught myself after I was left on my own when my previous husband divorced me (left me for my friend over 21 years ago)
I couldn’t stand looking at Ex’s handy work so took great pleasure in ripping it all off and doing it to my taste.

henetha Wed 05-Jun-19 10:35:48

One sure way to get my husband to do anything was to start the job myself, - I always knew he would take over when he saw how incompetent I was being. It worked every time!

dragonfly46 Wed 05-Jun-19 10:31:57

My DH had a stressful job so I did everything - painting, decorating even moving!

gillybob Wed 05-Jun-19 10:25:18

I don't think Franbern was boasting at all ditzyme . Its the same with me, I taught myself to wallpaper as I had no-one else to do it for me and could never have afforded to pay a professional. I am really rather good at it now and quite the perfectionist. Sometimes we assume we can't do something because we have never tried.
Obviously if the OP is not physically able then that's a different matter entirely.

ditzyme Wed 05-Jun-19 10:21:37

I'd arrange for a decorator and then tell him it's a done deal. And if he protests, point out that if he'd got off his backside and done it, then paying someone wouldn't have been necessary. And as for Franbern boasting almost about her DIY achievements - and good for her - she might do well to remember that not all women are physically able to do these things themselves.

PamGeo Wed 05-Jun-19 10:18:39

9 hours is really good sleep no wonder he's not tired before 3am, I'd be walking a brass band round the bed at 9 am !

Seriously though, I'd do something along those lines then leave the house for the caravan for a few days with or without him.
I'd get a decorator in when he's back at work and I'd do the whole house, get it all done before he's retired and under your feet again.
Memo to self, Never refuse a for a break with friends again wink

JS06 Wed 05-Jun-19 10:17:37

I agree with the posters suggesting get someone in to do it. You've said your husband has a stressful job and it's understandable he needs down time. His mistake was perhaps in agreeing that jobs would be started. I'd tell him the decorators are coming and the money you saved by not going away with friends this week will, in part, fund it. Good luck.

gillybob Wed 05-Jun-19 10:16:39

Where to start to reply to you Bopeep …….

My DH and I very rarely get any annual leave together (in fact he rarely gets any at all, but that is besides the point) and my own leave is usually booked well in advance for childcare.

Anyway, I was a single parent for many years and it was a case of if I didn't do it myself it wouldn't get done, so with years of practise I am now pretty good at wallpapering and really quite enjoy it, as long as I don't get interference. If you are not able to give it a go yourself however I would definitely get some quotes to have it done. Its not fair that you have to live with bare walls for years.

FlexibleFriend Wed 05-Jun-19 10:11:50

Personally I wouldn't put up with it for 5 weeks let alone 5 years. If you can't do it yourself employ someone to do it for you. Maybe having to put his hand in his pocket might spur him on in the future but don't be fobbed off on this occasion.

Boosgran Wed 05-Jun-19 10:08:14

Definitely tell him you are getting quotes in for the job. He obviously doesn’t want to do it and I certainly wouldn’t start it myself. Great if do it yourself is your thing but I can quite understand if not.

PenelopePopcorn Wed 05-Jun-19 10:06:24

I learned to do a lot of DIY from watching Youtube tutorials. If your husband feels too weary or low in energy I would accept that and either do it myself or pay someone to do it.

Barmeyoldbat Wed 05-Jun-19 10:01:24

Get a decorator to do it.

sodapop Wed 05-Jun-19 10:00:53

Definitely pay someone to do it after five years of waiting Bopeep just getting the quotes may spur him into action. Good luck.

Davida1968 Wed 05-Jun-19 09:56:55

After five years I would definitely get someone in to do the decorating. Job done!

Buffybee Wed 05-Jun-19 09:46:58

What would be say if you had a decorator round to give you a quote for the hall?
In fact, that is exactly what I would do.
5 years!!!
He has no intention at all of doing this job.

leyla Wed 05-Jun-19 09:40:55

I ended up paying a painter/decorator.