A day of lows. How do you cope?

trendy sounds like an allergy?

Yet again, thanks for the kind words. I’ve just booked a weekend away and will make sure I enjoy e.v.e.r.y minute! ???

Ohmother. Also having a low day today.Mainly because my lip has swollen ,which it does every now and then .Have no idea why ,but always takes around 24 hours to go down again. As a result there’s no way I could go out . Luckily a free day so don’t have to let anyone down,or miss any meetings or appointments. Feel caged in if don’t even get as far as the shops -and coffee bar.
Hoping my lip will be ok by tomorrow as supposed to be going out for the day with a former friend and neighbour. Looking forward to that! ?

If you want to be a negative nelly then carry on! We all have our off days, some more than others (?‍♀️ guilty) Everything is ALWAYS my fault so I get where your coming from! ? Hope you feel a bit better today ?

Friend didn’t see text till too late for meet up info this morning. (She didn’t want my company?)

She was probably not avoiding you but was busy.

Best friends have bought a house mikes away and hope to move imminently. (We’ve upset them enough to move right away?)

No one buys a house because people have upset them unless they have neighbour-from-hell problems. You sound sensitive and pleasant.

Quote for work on house twice as much as we thought it would be. (He didn’t want the work ?..although we think he’s great!)

Never miind if one tradesman is great. He might be available for the next job. Plenty of fish in the sea. Get onto Checkatrade for local recommendations.

Imminent retirements of long term, nice, colleagues at work. (Smaller fish in large pond of toddlers?)

You can still keep up the acquaintanceships. Have meet ups and exchange emails.

I need to sleep on all this don’t i? ?

You have had a coincidental group of experiences which can be interpreted negatively and you have done this because one thing seems to have come hot upon the tail of another. It is really a series of chance occurrences and you are tired and sensitive.

OP, yes, sleep on it and reconsider in the morning.

Stress and worry can have serious ill effects on your health and well-being. My new motto is “if you can’t do anything about it then don’t worry - if you can, do!) Easier said than done but it works and I know, I have had a a terrible 2019 but since I have adopted this motto I feel much better. Problems are not gone, and they are all personal (not someone else’s) but I cannot do anything about them so I don’t worry about them. One day at a time.

Maybe try to think positively instead of dwelling on the negative. You are causing yourself to feel low so if you turn things on there head and see things in a different light you will feel stronger. What rules your mind or your feelings?

There is so many people who are worse off then all of us.

Again...thanks to all who gave me sympathy, a kick up the a... or made me laugh.

Today is a better day. ?

Ohmother - I do hope things seem better after a night’s sleep. Mawbroonsback’s response is wise and kind. Take care of yourself! ?

Maybe a quick call rather than a text would be more productive for a short notice arrangement? My friends are often slow on texts but immediate on calls, I find.

Presumably you knew something of your friends' plan to move? That doesn't mean you have to like it. Of course not, but it does help to ease the pain methinks.

I always imagine a horrid estimate to come and then reality is sometimes a 'pleasant' shock.

Losing old colleagues is a pain but, in actual fact, a double whammy bonus because, presumably you will continue to meet up in a social context? The added extra is the opportunity to make new friends of the new recruits. All pluses my opinion.

pour a large wine and relax
Actually I worry intensely about whether to pour the red wine first or the white!
Anyway, it's un-Australian to worry about something you can't do anything about!

It is strange as I often have low days at the moment but at the back of my mind I know that it is temporary and I will soon begin to see the positives in little things. I feel I am lucky in that way. Maybe it is living a day at a time and not looking too far ahead.

Oh come on you lot!! The poor woman can have an 'off' day. Don't we all have days when we feel the world is against us?Oh just me then!!
You just wallow in it Ohmother- we all need a day like this sometimes. I bet you feel much better today anyway.

Now I have got to have lunch with the Wicked Step-Mother today & that really IS something to get depressed about. That woman can bore for England & if you DARE to try to talk about something that does not involve all her (imagined) problems heaven help you!
By 3pm today I will be reaching for the gin!

Ohmother, I know exactly what you mean. I had a friend who I always got in touch with, ran after non-stop, did all the driving and suggested every time we met up. I got texts back often too late to do anything that day and end up meeting the next week. Then when I was ill for months on end I just didnt hear from her and havent heard since! My tip dont expect people to think the same as you. Step back and do your own thing. Maybe have a pamper day on your own and chill. Also dont over think things, your friend is moving and you can go and visit them, or they can come to you. Then work on our homes is expensive, so why not get a few little jobs done at a time? Do you have hobbies? Maybe try something new and clear out the old stuff and refresh your brain. But I do understand. Take care and be kind to yourself. We are all only human.

I think you need to chill out and think positive things .
All the time you think negatively , negative things will happen .
Take a couple of days to unwind , then start with a positive attitude .
Then watch your world turn around .

I am so sorry to read that you are feeling low and it may well be tiredness or even hormones.

Even I, at 72, can still feel low during certain times of the month and my doctor tells me we women never truly finish with the wretched hormonal effects.

If I were you, I'd ask your friend, 'Did you get my text? I hope you're not sick or anything?'
Make it light hearted because her answer is the only way you'll know.

Logically, you would have to be one absolutely dreadful neighbour for someone to move house to get away from you!!

Think of the expense and upheaval - have you been putting stink bombs through their letter box and sending unwanted taxis and pizza to their door?

Of course not, so there's another explanation, isn't there? Maybe you could ask them, saying how much you'll miss them and how much you've appreciated their friendship.

As for the lady at work - ask her too. Has she got a job offer she can't refuse?

All these things give you an opportunity to express your own affection and appreciation.

Then go out and buy yourself a large bunch of beautiful Spring flowers and know that someone in New Zealand is thinking of you and hoping you feel 100% better today.

Sleep on it. Things often look better in the morning although I appreciate you can't always take this attitude with serious worries.

Just reading the latest before I settle down to sleep. Thank you for the latest kind words. It’s nice for them to come in my direction for once. ?.

Wise words Merlotgran

You do need to put a positive spin on things when you feel like you have today.

Your friend might have been in a grumpy mood so you got off lightly.

Your best friends will miss you and invite you to stay as soon as they have settled in.

Get a more competitive quote. You don't need to do business with greedy b***ards.

Don't feel miffed about your colleagues retiring. They've earned it.

Sleep well.

Ohmother - Please do not pay too much attention to the criticism about it being 'all about me'. Its a reaction that we all probably felt at one time or another but then life and experience soon showed us that we are all individuals. One person's minor hiccup is another person's dire tragedy. We all cope in different ways and at different times. I've been struggling with a complex house sale and move and it pretty much ground me down. One day I started to remember a similar situation I was dealing with back in my 30s (whilst also going through a divorce and coping with a new baby).....it all seemed a huge adventure and each 'problem' was simply seen as just a task to be completed. Nowadays I worry if the phone rings.....for one reason or other....then worry if it does not for a whole other range of reasons. If a DD does not answer a text inside a few minutes (and one could be working nights) I have them dead in a ditch in my mind!
Its not about you....its the fact that your coping mechanisms are not what they were and also at this stage in our lives we do tend to have the whole range of disasters and emergencies to cope with without the resilience of youth. I wish I could be that callow carefree 30 something I was.,....but I'm not and I just have to live with it. Also I really must stop imagining what others are thinking - I'm always jumping to conclusions - and I'm usually totally wrong. The neighbour who I though was being a bit sniffy with me had toothache and just wanted to get home!

Life is too short to worry about others don't you think,pour a large wine and relax, I never worry about anyone.

ohmother - go with your feelings of dismay. I know what you mean. Sometimes it gets too much to be always looking on the bright side, always finding positives in negative situation, and always being the one who rallies and uplifts others.

This is personal to you, but you will re-frame it all in time and I hope appreciate that you are not the catalyst for all the let downs and the people moving away. It's probably not personal but I don't blame you for feeling you're being deserted, overlooked, ignored, etc, and wanting a sounding board.

If you cannot do anything about it but feel sorry for yourself (and that is OK in my book) then go and make a nice cup of tea, play some music, do a puzzle or something just for yourself, and say 'sod 'em all' to yourself. You'll feel differently soon, I am sure.

Gloria Gaynor's "I will survive!" might be appropriate here.

Thanks all. It does look all about me doesn’t it? ?. But then my stuff is MY stuff and I have a right to be sad don’t I? I was just feeling sooo fed up when I posted and I’m usually the advice giver and cheerer upper of others. Perhaps I’m exhausted by supporting others?

I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. Thanks again all.

I know what you mean Maw.