Suddenly realised I was getting old!

I agree with some posters that after retiring I seem more forgetful. I used to work in a bank in a customer facing role, and prided myself on remembering their names etc. Now I occasionally see some ex customers when shopping and think “ Oh, there’s Mrs So and So”, but cannot recall their name at all. Also used to be in a pub quiz team, and thought I was pretty quick thinking. Now I would still be puzzling over question 1 when question 6 is being asked. Also think we just google stuff now and just don’t have to retain stuff like we did in the past.

I do worry about my DH as he seems to be unable to do things that were always 2nd nature to him like his mobile phone and things to do with the internet. He has PTSD and has also been having to accept my health problems at the moment. But I think he is on too may different medications and feel I need to write to his psychiatrist before his next appointment in 2 weeks. Yesterday he was trying to book a flight to England and got in a terrible muddle so I had to continue with that. Then he couldnt find his emails to find the confirmation. So I had sort that out. Then later when I was taking my plate and cup to the kitchen he said the he had already set the dishwasher and it would be halfway through the cycle. No he hadnt even put the wash tablet in . But everything is someone elses fault.

Anyone else keep losing things? I'm forever searching for my glasses, purse, keys etc. It happens a lot.

I add comments on GN and want to mention a poster specifically and can’t remember their name, especially if it is odd or with numbers in it.

I’ve only just read this thread but it couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m 62 and have had a few incidents recently when I can’t remember a place or someone’s name and have been convinced it’s the start of dementia. It’s so reassuring to know how common it is.

Place names and peoples names disappear from my head.
Been anywhere lately? Yes I went to what you call it with thingamebob. It was nice!

I thought I was a good speller but recently have noticed I hesitate over certain words. I think this happens as I have spellcheck on my IPad and if I part write a word and think, how do I finish it, the correct spelling pops up on the IPad and I just click on the word without actually typing it. This is stopping me practising the word. Not good ?

Today in the supermarket I wanted to ask the assistant to pass me a basket and all I could think of was trolley!

A good few years ago I earned a salary as a proof reader in Avon Cosmetic's sales prom department. I was responsible for checking and re-checking all the prices and product descriptions in the three weekly sales brochure before going to print. I have lost the ability to spell certain everyday words and refer to the dictionary on a regular basis. What's more distressing, is that I no longer remember how to punctuate. My husband is familiar with my plaintive request...do I need a comma?
Thanks for allowing me to share.

I haven't had time to read all of this thread, but Craftycat, I have been having that experience since my 20s! Well of course, when you're younger, you haven't been making Royal Icing, Yorkshire Pudding, whatever, for quite as long, so it may feel less frightening.
It happened to me recently when sewing a French seam. I do exactly as you did - take a deep breath and calmly look at what needs to be done.
As for being a fore-runner of dementia - well almost anything can be! Rather like feeling mildly unwell and a bit feverish can be anything from a mild cold through to developing flu or even septicaemia!
I do think that we need to be kinder to ourselves as we get older and look after our physical, mental and emotional health.
So Craftycat, I would neither dismiss it or read too much into it. Maybe you were rushing too much or feeling pressured, so you could take the message to be a bit more careful - but maybe it's just one of those things! I hope you're feeling better.

purplepatch, that is exactly what I have found. If I am reading, say, a long newspaper article, or listening to something complicated on Radio 4 or Radio 3, I find myself not following - then I realise it's only because I am being lazy in my thoughts and not making the connections between the ideas properly.

I have noticed that this is what happened with my father when he got older and is happening with my mother, too. So I make myself concentrate and work out what is going on.

This is not quite the same as what craftycat describes. I have had that happen a couple of times and it really is scary. Fortunately, it does seem to happen, as you say, when you are doing something that you do very often. If you are doing something new - driving in unfamiliar surroundigs, for example, you are more alert.

It is awfully embarrassing if it happens when you're out shopping, though, or at the doctor's, as happened to soop.

Reading through the thread I'm struck that so many examples of forgetfulness are when doing things that we normally do on autopilot so to speak, suggesting that a lack of concentration might be an explanation in many cases.

Being distracted is possibly another explanation. Since my DH died six months ago I find myself listening to someone saying something to me but not 'hearing' them IYSWIM. My mind is simply not properly engaged.

Also, dementia is the latest big fear disease, like cancer was in the past. I know it has increased because of demographics but it is so much in the forefront of health news now that we get into panic mode more easily I think.

I thought it was just me having senior moments. Forgetting pin numbers and a few other things. I seem ok now thank goodness. Hugs to everyone having memory lapses.

All so interesting & reassuring.
I particularly like the idea that it might be caused by enough alcohol!!
That can be easily sorted.
Looking back I was stressed that day as I had limited time to make the cake & I wanted it to be perfect.
I won't worry next time I have a senior moment- it's obviously just what happens to us all in time.
Thank you all.

I dont know if it is just me, but I have a theory that some of my forgetfulness is down to less stress in my life, not more. When I was at work I was constantly on edge, trying my hardest to perform to the level required, making huge efforts. Since I left work three years ago I have got less and less stressed and more and more forgetful. I am now swanning through life in a chilled out sort of way and forgetting loads of things like when to put the bins out, or how to drive to particular places. Before I would have been really angry with myself about this sort of thing, I would have checked and double checked to make sure I 'performed', constantly reminded myself etc, but now I just shrug my shoulders, because mostly the only person it inconveniences is me. I am in fact making much less effort to remember stuff in general and so of course I am more forgetful.

My memory is hopeless. Tonight I came across an interesting word I hadn't seen before so looked up the definition and sent it to my daughter as she is interested in language. Now, 2 hours later, I couldn't recall the word if you paid me £1,000. My DD often asks me to do things and I tell her ONLY if she writes them down OTHERWISE there is no chance of me remembering. Am 70 and have been like this for at least 10 years.

Good luck Daisyboots with your treatment - I hope all goes well for you. x

Reading these posts has been hugely reassuring. Thank you so much for starting it craftycat

Grandad what a kind, reassuring post but Rufus2 I agree with you actually.
?

I find this thread frightening as I have a mum with advanced altzimers and both my grans has it too.

I put it down to their total alcohol abstinence.

Seriously no way am I living to 89 like my mum and being doubly in continent so from my garden right now!

Gin and tonic cheers.

I too have noticed these incidents of forgetfulness have increased over the last few years, I'm 68. Usually it's just forgetting names or dates or the word I want to say. But last week I went into the kitchen to make a Shepherds Pie, a dish I have made almost every week for the past 40 years, but I stood in the middle of the kitchen and my mind was a complete blank! I knew what I wanted to make but how did I do it? What ingredients did I need and what did I do with them? I just had no idea! I made a cup of tea and watched TV for a few minutes and then went back to the kitchen and made the pie as if nothing had happened. It was a bit worrying but I blamed it on being a bit unwell at the time and perhaps having a raised temperature. So I won't dwell on it too much. My grandmother had dementia for the last 10 years of her life. We first noticed something was wrong when she forgot to pick me up from primary school as she did each day. My teacher walked me home and my GM looked at me as if she'd never seen me before, then she returned to making a cake in the kitchen. When my Mum asked her about it she had no recollection at all of having forgotten me and was most offended at the accusation. Similar episodes occurred over the next few years none of which my GM was aware of. But it was several years before the doctor diagnosed dementia. I sometimes wonder if history will repeat itself with me but so far I am quite aware that I forget things, and I devise ways to remember why I went into this shop; what I went upstairs for; or where I parked the car!

Recently, at the surgery, I was given a dish in which to pee prior to transferring some into a sample tube. I emptied the wee into the toilet bowl and flushed. I returned to the nurse and handed her an empty tube.
There are frequent occasions when I sit and stare at the computer screen because I have completely lost the thread of whatever it was I intended to say. Yes, it's scarey. Knowing that I'm not alone, helps in some small way.

Momentary lapses are common in one's 60s, and yes I think after caring for someone with dementia for 13 years that this is how it all starts - but sometimes these forgetful episodes (and it happens to me a lot - I walk to the fridge, open the door and have no idea what I went there for and have to work through all the shelves to see if what I want leaps out at me) occur just because we are over-tired or stressed. The key is to prevent them happening more frequently by eating brightly coloured foods that ward off strokes, keeping out hearts fit and drinking plenty of water.

I am not sure we can take reassurance from this thread about it being normal. Think of all the people on gransnet that didn't post! 20% of all of us are going to have dementia in our lifetime and if 20% of gransnet members have posted in this thread, then that means we're in the 20% and these really are early warning signs. Sorry - I am the glass half empty type

It can be frightening but I think a number of things could be the cause.
Mental overload. Tiredness.Hormones .
If it really is bothering you badly
check it out with dr.

I often have a problem when in shopping malls, I leave a shop but have no awareness of the direction I should be walking in. DH now says "turn right" or "turn left". I never shop on my own because he would have to send out a search party.

I have never possessed a sense of direction and so forgetting where I am or where I am going is normal. I thank God for Google maps!

As for communication with DH, it is just as grandtante described it with each of us saying it was the other who either said or forgot something.
We have agreed to try texting important things to each other so that we have a written reminder of what was agreed.

A couple of weeks ago we were in Belgium visiting WW1 War Cemeteries. In Zonnebeke (forgive me if I've spelled this wrongly) a large mansion has, underneath, a myriad of underground tunnels leading out into trenches. We walked through the really very interesting museum area, coming out at the top of some very steep wooden steps which led down to the cellars and tunnels. I couldn't go down as I'm claustrophobic (and also have a dodgy knee). DH went down saying he'd be back up shortly. He didn't come back. I waited about 10 minutes then doubled back, trying to find where we came in. This was awkward as it was one-way and very busy. On reaching reception I explained my difficulty to the lady on reception. She called on a volunteer to show me the way in from outside the building 'that way you will find your husband', she said. Volunteer duly walked me through a beautiful garden into a lift, which went down into the tunnels and left me. There was no-one there, except me. I couldn't hear anyone and the only lighting was flickering bulbs. My sense of direction has always been bad, and I could feel myself starting to panic. Anyway, I just kept trying not to veer off left or right and gradually found myself at the bottom of the steps that I wasn't able to descend. Suddenly, a horde of children came dashing down (school trip) and I think they did get a bit of a fright when they came across me - a wild-eyed, white-haired witchy looking woman cowering in a corner as they dashed past. Believe me, I flew up those steps (knackered knee and all) and outside into the beautiful day. I was terrified. DH eventually turned up, by the way.