What do you want ‘ professionals’ to call you?

Happy birthday Bijou

It really depends on circumstances. Had a very young angsty plumber in house calling me darling. Which I did not like. My gardener calls me mate, which I don’t mind! In a hospital, I’d be happy with first or surname.

Happy Birthday
Bijou ? ???

If I know the professional well,
Eg My Gp I am happy to be called by my christian name (may be I should say first name)

What drives me mad is when I get a phone call from services eg BT, energy provider etc and they assume without asking to be on first name terms.

Or I receive an advertisement letter saying Hi Cherry or Dear Cherry .....

Then of course there is the cards that wish Cherry a happy christmas. Grrr

Other than by friends and relations I prefer to be called by Mrs....
rufus. I don’t expect you are older than me. 96 today!

NoddingGanGan

To me, respect is not shown by the use of an endearment or name, which is why I don't mind being called dear, love, Sweetie etc., as it is usually done with affection and a smile.

Respect or patronisation is an attitude, not just a misused appellation.

I think a lot of what people see as patronising is a combination of their own mindset (it's in their minds and not that of the speaker) and the British class system: 'I'm better than the cleaner/waitress, so she shouldn't call me 'Love'.

Not sure a barista, or someone who doesn't know you, needs to call you anything. If they do, then it's obviously from friendliness and possibly customer service. So what?

A bright smile and 'Black coffee?' just to confirm the order, is enough, especially as s/he is going to learn that whatever endearment s/he uses, it's going to be misconstrued.

I don't see 'love', 'dear' etc., as patronising when the rest of the attitude isn't.

And I really don't come across many patronising professionals, in fact the last one was a doctor in the hospital, very patronising indeed and he called me Mrs BL72 the whole time.

Can I ask for a poll on what people prefer to be called by waiting staff in cafes and restaurants when they don't actually know your name. My dd had a temp job in the uni hols waiting tables in a local eatery and I cringed to hear her call mature ladies, "my love" or, "my dear". "But what am I to call them?" she asked. "I can hardly call them, "hey you!" I suggested madam as, though I realise its connotations I just feel it's more respectful, especially from a much younger person, but it would seem a lot of you object to that also?

My friend always refers to us as 'girls' - she's 81

There are so many younger women using the names babe and hon on a recycle facebook page I use. I dislike it and refuse to have anything to do with these 'girls'.

Don't mind, just do not like love or dear when said in a passive aggressive way.

I was brought up in Yorkshire so I'm in the habit of calling everybody "love", now in the West Country it tends to be my lovely, my lover no I'm not or hun, none of which I object to.

I dislike the assumption that I am called my by first forename, this has to be used on Official forms but I'm unlikely to respond to it unless at Doctors/Hospital/Dentist etc.

Hospital staff have always asked me what I wish to be called.

I resent people using my forename if they don't know me, I may only be 63 but I am Mrs & like to be referred to as Mrs Legs unless I am asked is it alright to call you L (forename). I hate guys, dislike Madam or Lady no I'm not & hate daaarling

Both my husband and I have had hospital 'experiences' in the last few months/years and each time have been asked what we preferred to be called. This more than once by different members of medical staff.

It's just occurred to me that my butcher calls me by my first name - but I've never told him my name!

I hate it when a group of mature women are referred to as 'the girls' as in the MEN on the shop floor and the GIRLS in the office.

Strangely I am happy to be referred to as LASS although there are very few older men around to call me that now.

and no, he wasn't laughing!

It was Mr Cook, lemongrove - well, at least he went into her room and never reappeared!

I don't mind, within reason.

That said, when I accompanied DH to an appointment in the hospital's audiology department, I was slightly taken aback when he was asked by the audiologist if I was his "missus"!
Still, as English clearly wasn't the woman's first language, and there was a slight pause before she said it, suggesting she couldn't think of the best word to use, I let it go.

Callistemon was it Mr Cook she was calling?
Did he laugh?

Cock is very popular round my way!
I was waiting to see the nurse this morning and another health professional popped out of her room and asked for 'Mr Cock' - no-one responded so she kept repeating it until the man next to me said 'Well, I'm Mr Cook, do you mean me?!

Generally, I don't mind but I do prefer my full forename or Mrs Stemon unless I've told someone otherwise.
I know that when anyone calls DH by his first forename they are being over-familiar because he never uses it.

An American man on my train wished me "Good-day, Ma'am." I loved that. Thinking of going to America just so I can hear it again. Much better than "my love", "dear" or - worst of all - "lovely". Not even "MY lovely". How absolutely patronising. When we got carers for my elderly Mum I insisted that they call her Mrs....
Lovely to be in Italy or Spain and be called Senora or whatever.

Oh yes, and don’t get me started on ‘hun’. That particular American import is all over the place at the moment ?

Just don’t patronise me with dear, darling or ‘luv’. I prefer to be called by my first name, but I don’t like a power imbalance so I’m glad Doctors etc now tend to introduce themselves with their own first name. I am fine with madam, most common if someone is providing a service at a hotel or a car driver.

Jeez I hate Madam

Interesting Lully. My son attended a nursery to sixth form special school and the students all called the staff (including the head) by their first names. Except strangely one teacher. No idea why, she was always Mrs xxx, obviojsly her preference. And parents weren't always told the staff members surnames either!!