Do you ever regret having children?

I had no intention of having children but eight months into our marriage my GP told me I was pregnant because I had long gaps in my menstrual cycle. He had made a wrong assumption but by the time I attended for a further check I really was pregnant. It was a nightmare because there were no scans to ascertain dates in the 60s, my baby was supposedly due in January but was not born until the end of March. DD married but made the decision not to have children.

We decided we would have a second child so as not to leave DD an only child, good choice as this DS has given us the beautiful GC who bring great joy.

My two have never given me any problems so no I don't regret having them even though I gave up my career to care for them.

I grew up vowing not to have children but fell in love with a man who wanted a football team! Although I love my AC dearly and am absolutely grateful for my 3 lovely GC, I feel like I shouldn’t have been a mum as I’m not really the maternal type that I had hoped I would be. I struggled with being depended on and putting my own needs way down the list when they were small and always felt that I should do more/better than I could actually do, even now. Now they are grown up and independent, except the last one, I would do absolutely anything for them but still wish I had been a better mum. I wouldn’t change anything now if given a magic wand to erase the past But if I’d had a crystal ball then I probably wouldn’t have fallen for my DH and had kids.

Urmston I too was scared when our first child was born in 82. I wish I'd let my mother help more, especially as she died when he was just two and a half. I wanted to be the ' perfect mother' of course there's no such thing. I would have learnt so much from my mother.

I do fear what life will be like when DS and DD are retirement age the way society is going though.

It’s not that I regret having my children but if I had my life again and knew what I know now I wouldn’t marry and have children.

My children are my delight, and they have made the world a much nicer place, wish I could have had many more.

Mmmm no obviously I adore my 4 AC they are our world.

That’s the issue for me unfortunately as our youngest dd was very badly injured aged 12 on a school trip abroad and for a whole hour we thought she had been killed.

Since then and she’s now 20 I am anxious about them all and it overshadows every happy moment. Grandchildren are another thing to worry about. I forced my son to go to paediatric first aid lessons incase he choked!

So yes I adore them and love them but it had its price. Your peace of mind and your mental health.

BradfordLass72 - I'm sorry about your eyesight and that you no longer volunteer.

That is a real shame. Are you sure you can no longer do that? You must have been such an asset.

There have been moments when I have been a bit jealous of my two oldest friends. Neither had children, but both had lovely houses, expensive cars and lots of holidays. Fast forward 50 years and one has a deaf husband and now has cancer that seems to be spreading. The other's husband is bedridden with a degenerative disease. Neither has any close family and has to rely on paid help.

I have two children and their partners always on hand to help when my husband is ill. Plus I've had the pleasure of three more babies to play with and they still seem to like me now they are growing up. I never realised I would enjoy having children around so much.

Despite all the trouble and now estrangement caused by my elder boy, I do not regret having children for an instant.

In fact I would have loved more.

I love children and even now, at 72, have only recently stopped volunteering at a kindergarten and that only because my eyes are failing and felt the babies were unsafe (if I stepped on a Lego I couldn't see and tripped, for instance).
Having babies and toddlers around has never annoyed me, I revel in it.

So NO, quite definitely NO regrets. My only regret is that I couldn't have more than two.

Seem to be the outcast on this. Had 3 and would not have changed them for anything. But given the world as it is today and predicted to be in the future, not being able to afford to look after them but hand them over to other people to do a very large part if the child's caring, I would not have children now.

Like another poster said, I've never been comfortable with small babies and so I didn't enjoy DS until he was about a year or so old. But once that milestone was reached and I could see a proper little person there, the full force of maternal love kicked in. And just grew and grew. I don't regret only having the 1 child and I certainly don't regret having the 1 I did.

No regrets except I wish I'd had more than one. Lots of ups and downs along the way, but worth it!

And of course we have six fantastic grandchildren!

Willow, my husband and I were also very young when we had our first baby and we went onto have another three. My husband has always said that we all grew up together and I guess he is probably right about that. Our eldest is now almost 46 and the youngest is 37! They are brilliant - all four of them and life wouldn’t be worth living without them in it!

Don't regret having our two sons even though we were only children ourselves (both 17). We grew up with them and although we missed out on the clubbing/nights out and had no money we wouldn't have changed it. They've also provided us with our wonderful grandchildren as well as 2 fantastic DILs.

Never ever. We have 2, but if we could have afforded it we would have liked 2 more. But the 2 we have are great ,and we now have 2 granddaughters.

Absolutely not.
If I could go back in time and do it all over again I would, in a heartbeat.
I have 5.

I'm with you Esspee and Chloe1984. I should have 100% stuck to my guns and carried on taking the pill

No regrets at all.

However when our first daughter was born in ‘78 I remember feeling scared. That this ‘was for life’ and unlike say a pet, I couldn’t have her re-homed. The enormity of it all hit me at at once.

Never, ever!

If you could see what wonderful girls they are and how devotedly they have supported my OH and me in the last month. What great treasures they are!

Not that I want them to spend their time helping us - but, they just say "We are family, we are a team, we all help each other."

Ups and downs, tears and laughter. Worry and wonderful moments.
Never for one moment do I ever regret having my 3 DDs. Just can’t imagine how quiet life would be without them , sons in law and gorgeous DGSs.

You misunderstand me Paddyann I didn't mean stay at home Mums but being able to have a full blown career. I was offered a Ward Sister's post in the 60s but then you had to work full time to do this. It was not possible for me as I had a young child. I worked part time, my husband was a nurse and worked Mon- Fri and I worked weekends. It was a struggle.

For me it would be a case of going back and doing all over again but with much more maturity and better understanding. I am sure things would have been much easier if i knew then what i know now.That is true of all aspects of life though.

sodapop what decade did you have your children in? I had my daughter in 78 and worked at building a business while taking a baby to work with me.I didn't know ANY stay at home mums.Most women in my area worked in shops,offices and factories,many part time.I was back at my desk when my daughter was 8 days old .It did neither her nor me any harm whatsoever . I thought SAHM's were a thing in the 50's ,my own mother was the only one of her generation I knew who didn't work. My children and GC have been a huge important part of my life my only wish is that my daughter didn't have the ill health that has plagued her for the past 6 years or so,causing her to be bedridden.She's still a fantastic mother to her 3 children though .

No, never for a moment. We have three, and they are all wonderful, different and loving. Our third was born after a long gap, and I was offered a termination by our family Dr, which was never for a moment considered. I think I wish now, that we had tried for no. 4, but we decided not to.
I lost twins during the gap years, but they were never real to me at the time. I do wish I had known that with No 1 son, that you can actually relax, and they will grow up fine.
Now we have seven grandchildren and three great grands. Life is good.