Heartbroken!!

Oldest grandchild, a boy has just turned 13 and I miss him! He often doesn't come up with the others as is allowed to be at home on his own for a couple of hours. I always get a hug from him when I do see him but not always much of a conversation. We have to accept that our grandchildren grow up and don't need us so much although they know we are there if they need us.

Growing up, I'm afraid. It's quite sad. Nothing you've done. Let them go and they will always come back is the best advise I've heard.

I am sure she will choose to spend time with you again.
I was always close to my nan but in the teen years my life seem too full of new things......once I turned twenty I wanted to be close to her again.
I have seen a similar in my oldest granddaughter. I give her the space to choose how much see stays in contact and that feels right.
I always remember that being young is a time to explore it doesn't mean you have turned away from people you love.

if you're on FB add her to your page ,my older two MSG me regularly about silly stuff and about other more serious things ..they help care for their mum who is often bedbound.I'd be delighted if mine could have a normal life instead of looking after mum and their little sister while Stepdad is working away .Let her enjoy being 16

Charlies, she is 16 and its not cool to shop with your gran and as for visits, well she has other interests now. Give it 4 years or more and she will come back to wanting to visit. My gc was the same so I backed off now at 22 she is messaging me about every two months asking to meet up as she hasn't seen me for a while. Just give it time.

My grandson is 12 and loves to come and stay but that could be to get some peace from his little sister. But I’m under no illusion that any year now it’s gonna be “no thanks man, I’m sleeping over with mates” . Think yourself lucky that you’ve had her company until 16. Very unusual.

*"We used to go shopping and I would always treat her"
"but to not want your nan to treat you at all seems strange?"*

Reading all your comments I realise how lucky I am
My 16yr old Granddaughter texts me with updates & photos every few weeks It’s so good to get them Sometimes she even asks for a bit of advice xxxxx

If she's studying for GCSE's then when she stops, she wants time to do the things she most wants to do and that will probably be relaxing with her friends. My 18 year old son is studying for his A levels and although we have a great relationship with him, our company is not what he wants when he has his downtime.
Just let her know you will be there for her if she needs you for anything and get ready to send a present for when she gets the grades she wanted at GCSE results time. You may well find that, by that time, she is ready to visit again.

yes. really.

(Mind you, I sometimes think I'm better off without .) No getting up early to provide breakfast.

Not really!

13 year old grandson coming here today for the rest of the week.But, he freely confesses it's mostly to get away from the killing exercise regime his mother imposes on him. Don't see sight nor sound of the 17 year old these days unless his mum physically ropes him up and bundles him into the car.

Where did those little sweeties that loved coming to granny's house go to? Bit

I 'returned' M, my 12 year old grandson, to his parents yesterday and am expecting L, his (almost) 17 year old brother, to arrive later today for a 4/5 day stay.
M expressed that it was 'too quiet' and he missed the 'noise' of home. (He's also ASD/ADHD). I have a feeling that anything other than an overnight visit is a thing of the past with him now. L will probably still pay extended visits for a few more years for "chill out time".
It is hard watching them grow up and become independent but so rewarding.

It's called being a teenager, don' take it personally as mine are the same but when I do see them I receive a smile and hug fit to die for

Your grandaughter is growing up, has a lot of study to do for her exams and just other things to do ! Just leave her to her own devices for a bit and when she has time, will no doubt be happy to go shopping with you- especially if you are paying!
Mind you, for several years my niece used to come over at weekends and I used to take her shopping. We even went to several concerts together (I usually bought the tickets) but one day, while she was at college, she announced that she didn't want to go with me the next year. I could understand that, and she said she'd come again once she had finished college. Then she met her husband, got married, now teaches and I very rarely see her - apart from a brief visit right before her birthday !

Just a normal teenager I'm afraid.

Thought it was just me crazyH !

You're a very young grandma Charlie2468 - the same age as I was when my 16 year old DD decided she'd rather go shopping with her friends than me.

She's probably studying for her GCSEs too.

Perfectly normal at that age. Give her a couple of years & she will want to come & see you again & be a real friend.

I'm sure you've got the gist from the replies - she's a teenager!! I'm sure as you've been close while she has been growing up, that she'll gravitate back when she's a bit older.

DancesWithOtters is certainly right. A 16 year old would almost certainly not want to go shopping with their grandmother.
I don’t think it’s her studying that’s changed - she (sadly but rightly) has better things to do.
When she’s older I dare say she’ll be more available. She’s finding a new place for herself in the world.

They are all the same. I'm trying to get them over for Easter Lunch, but no replies from them. And their mother (my daughter)is the same ...if I did text her, she will reply the following. If I ring, she's always in a hurry to get off the phone. What's the point ?

'Heartbroken' is someone who has actually lost a beloved GC, you haven't lost her, she's just growing up.
You have been loved these past 16 she won't have forgotten that, she's put you on a shelf for now but sooner or later, when she's gallivanted about as they all do, she will remember how much you mean to her and that special bond will resurface again and you'll get her back. I agree, let her do her thing and be patient.

Yes afraid this is all part of growing up and moving on. Two of mine are 17 & 21 - they still love us but coming to stay now is not on their agenda especially as the eldest lives with her boyfriend. Be happy for her and enjoy the visits you do get.

She's 16. 16 year olds don't want to hang out with Nan at the weekend. They want to be out with their friends and boyfriends.

Very normal. Don't take it personally.