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Argument with DD’s neighbour

(127 Posts)
gillybob Sun 14-Apr-19 16:59:00

As I have mentioned on the Good morning thread a couple of times, DH and I are in the process of doing DD’s garden .for her and the baby. Yesterday we cemented the fence posts in and today we have been fixing the fence panels, clearing etc. My DD lives on a small estate where each resident has one marked parking bay but unfortunately hers is no where near the gate to her garden . This morning my DH pulled the van into the bay right near her gate temporarily so we could unload. Quick as a flash this woman appeared and started shouting “ this is private property , it’s my bay... get out .... bad language... blah blah blah”
I explained that we would be less than half an hour unloading etc. Then we would move ..... oh no not good enough ..... the next thing a man appears and made some serious threats to DH of what he would do if he didn’t move the van ( it’s a small van btw) right now ! I tried to reason with him by saying
“If you just let us unload we would have been moved by now”
Which seemed to make him worse as next thing he puts his fists up ( silly old b*gger) and says he’s getting the police .... Now we did carry on and unload the van and then moved it but DD is really worried (frightened even ) as we are going to have to move rubbish out and have sand , topsoil etc. delivered soon. Incidentally the nutty bloke is the boyfriend of the woman who’s bay it is he doesn’t even live there ( or at least not officially) . Not sure how we can empty the garden of rubbish without crossing/ using “her” bay ( that she doesn’t even bl**dy well use ) ? DD is really worried . In a way I wish he had rang the police ( how crazy ) . Any ideas how we should handle this ? I have never come across 2 nastier old farts in my life !

Overthehills Mon 15-Apr-19 21:56:07

I really do wish people would read the whole thread before diving in with unhelpful and inaccurate comments.
I just hope it all dies down Gilly and you never see them again. But if it doesn’t I hope you can smile sweetly and tell them the facts of the situation.
My DD has exactly the same attitude from her neighbour and the road outside her house is a public one where anybody is entitled to park!

Jaycee5 Mon 15-Apr-19 21:33:32

Own the road that should be, not property.

Jaycee5 Mon 15-Apr-19 21:33:11

Barmeyoldbat Glad someone else knows what it is like when someone thinks they own the property in front of their house, especially if they are relative small terraces. You were lucky with the police. If my neighbour was warned, it didn't show.
It is disgusting when people complain about ambulances. It is hard to understand how their mind works.

Barmeyoldbat Mon 15-Apr-19 19:24:00

Suggest you stand firm. It’s public highway and so you will have a right of use as long as you are not blocking him in. When and if he starts just call the police and tell them you are being threatened by an aggressive person and you feel frightened. Also suggest you get your daughter to talk to police as well about her fears. I had a similar silly old b.......r living next door to me who didn’t like anyone, including an ambulance when it was needed, parked outside his house. I got fed up with him one day and called the police. They were excellent and warned him about his behaviour. It worked.

dragonfly46 Mon 15-Apr-19 18:30:31

Gilly now that you know they were in the wrong just let it lie. If they protest again just tell them calmly that you know the space is not theirs and you have permission to be there. It is not worth rising to people like that. I am sorry your DD is upset but it will pass. Under no circumstances should you apologise as some have suggested - you did nothing wrong.
You have right on your side.

crazyH Mon 15-Apr-19 18:21:01

Wrong thread Ginger79 - or, are you having us on?
To answer your question......see your GP

Gonegirl Mon 15-Apr-19 18:13:56

I would have thought the neighbours could quickly see that they were unloading only. Or at least have accepted the explanation when it was given.

Nasty people.

So glad you got it sorted with the management Gillybob. Anymore threats, speak to the police.

M0nica Mon 15-Apr-19 18:11:54

Is this a house they own or, if rented, private or housing association? I would certainly approach the management company of there is one and get the deeds out and read them in detail if they own it.

The wall of next door's house is also the party wall between our two properties and our deeds say they can have reasonable access to our garden to maintain it. They usually ask for access for a day every year, to clean gutters, paint windows or wall or, on one occasion, to repoint the wall.

cornergran Mon 15-Apr-19 18:06:07

What a good job you checked with the management company gilly. Thinking of the helpful young man I wonder if the management company have a simple list of which bay is attached to which property - as they are leased no residents ‘own’ them. If they do I then wonder if they would consider distributing it to all residents ‘for information’. It won’t stop Mr Aggressive if that’s his usual way of navigating the world but it might help your daughter relax a bit. Can I echo other thoughts here? Have a care for your safety, he sounds as if he acts first and thinks later. Good luck with the rest of the garden, it sounds quite a project.

Nannyxthree Mon 15-Apr-19 18:01:00

I'm surprised your DD doesn't have anything written down about access or that the Management couldn't provide something. This sort of thing was bound to have happened at some time with the arrangement she has.
With any luck the unoccupied property will be lived in soon and they might have a vehicle to park there. That will really upset the nasty neighbours and provide your DD with some entertainment!

Callistemon Mon 15-Apr-19 15:46:23

25Avalon there are posts upthread that explain that this parking space does not belong to this abusive couple.

Callistemon Mon 15-Apr-19 15:44:55

I'm glad you phoned the management company and know exactly what the facts are regarding this parking space gillybob.
This type of confrontation does make you feel rather sick and upset, though, but now you know where you stand and, if there is any more trouble from that woman, you should log it and inform the management company straight away. I wonder if they know that she has 'a lodger'?

I hope that your DD is not too nervous and can hold her head up and ignore these bullies.

Enjoy the grandchildren's company tonight! They will take your mind off it.

OmaforMaya Mon 15-Apr-19 15:41:14

Are you having a bad day? ?

harrigran Mon 15-Apr-19 15:27:04

With you all the way gilly, no way would I exchange pleasantries with these neanderthals.
People who tell you to pop round and take gifts are seriously deluded, would not work, trust me.

gillybob Mon 15-Apr-19 15:24:36

Thank you for your kind words Bijou smile

Just another thing to add to my ever growing list of worries. Typical that we are trying to do a good thing for my DD and her baby and it all turns nasty for no reason whatsoever. It has really spoilt things for her and us too.

Seems so stupid worrying even though I know we have nothing to apologise for.

Anyway I'm off to pick up the 4 grandchildren for an overnight and tomorrows childcare. Not that I feel up to it today because I don't.

ayokunmi1 Mon 15-Apr-19 15:20:29

I dont see why OP should have asked
They werent camping the night they were dropping of some items and would have finished within the hour when the neighbour came through OP Explained why they were there
What about neighbours being neighbourly we are so selfish .Nasty people nasty freaking bullies

vintanner Mon 15-Apr-19 15:12:44

Sorry but if you had parked in my bay without asking first I would be annoyed too.

I wouldn't have been as bad as you say they were but I would have challenged you.

It is only good manners at the end of the day.

Bijou Mon 15-Apr-19 15:04:21

I feel sorry for you Gillybob that posters like 25Avalon have not read that you have contacted the management and are still accusing you of being in the wrong.
All this stress is not good for you or your daughter.

Ginger79 Mon 15-Apr-19 14:57:35

We are going abroad on Sunday and i have been light headed a couple of times last week and this morning I have fallen over.Should we still go ?I am not on any medication and there isn't an obvious explanation

25Avalon Mon 15-Apr-19 14:53:41

I think you were in the wrong. You just pulled up in someone else's bay whithout a by your leave. How incredibly rude. And then do you apologise? Do you offer to move? No, you say you will only be there a short period of time and it's your only way in - so hard luck they will have to put up with it. Again what a cheek. No wonder they got uptight.

Why on earth didn't you apologise instead of thinking you could do what you liked? An apology and a request to use the bay is the right and polite bay to behave. If they say no, they have every right to and you have to accept it. Your unreasonable behaviour caused their response.

gillybob Mon 15-Apr-19 13:32:27

Oh I think he was absolutely ready to fight ReadyMeals ! He even rolled up his sleeves. His face was about an inch away from my DH's (its a good job he is cool headed) and using very threatening language. It almost makes me laugh thinking how anyone could get so worked up over something so damned trivial.

There is no way on this earth I would have taken flowers, or chocolates (even licked ones) round to this pair of nut jobs JenniferEccles . They strike me as just looking for a fight and yesterday we provided the perfect excuse.

Looking forward to getting the garden finished and then they can rant and rave somewhere else. Sadly I think there might be more to come before we are finished as we can only do a bit at a time and we have topsoil, sand and paving to be delivered yet.

ReadyMeals Mon 15-Apr-19 13:20:17

Often the people waving the fists end up not really wanting to fight. The most dangerous are the simmering quiet types.

Jaycee5 Mon 15-Apr-19 13:20:14

JenniferEccles I agree. It is one thing if it is a continual problem, as I had, when it does get annoying, but basic give and take is just common courtesy.

JenniferEccles Mon 15-Apr-19 13:17:41

It's really good news that the foul mouthed chap doesn't own the parking bay gillybob, and also such a relief for your poor daughter that she probably may never set eyes on him again.

I honestly couldn't understand those on here who said that you should have asked permission before you parked briefly to unload. Most people would have had no problem with that surely?

As for those who said you should take round flowers and chocolates to the awful couple - well honestly...…..

Jaycee5 Mon 15-Apr-19 13:13:32

Egalanteen21* Why? Do you like to drive into the back of cars of people visiting your neighbour?