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‘Mum Tell Me’. A give and get back book

(19 Posts)
littleflo Mon 08-Apr-19 09:14:04

I received this book from my daughter for Mother’s Day. It has all sorts of questions that give a history of your life for future generations. I wonder if anyone has received this book and whether you completed it.

I think I will fill out parts of it but some questions I will avoid answering. Questions about my childhood and my Mother I will leave blank. I do t want to relive my unhappy memories. I wonder though if it defeats the object of the book.

grannyactivist Mon 08-Apr-19 12:20:12

I am obsessed with interested in family histories and in years to come I expect it will be exactly what you're leaving out that would have had the most interest for those who will be reading your book in the future. smile

Squiffy Mon 08-Apr-19 12:55:42

littleflo I was given one of these a few years ago and I still haven’t completed it! blush

I found it an odd mix of being both cathartic and upsetting! Also, I couldn’t decide what to put in/not put in it. No skeletons or anything exciting!

Hope you enjoy doing yours smile

littleflo Mon 08-Apr-19 13:50:32

Sqiffy, that is exactly it. The factual stuff is fine and I do have a rich history of stories told to me by older family members.

I will write loads about my wonderful Dad who died at just 50. I don’t want to write about Mother as no-one except my DH knows what she was really like. I would not want my daughter to know what a wretched childhood I had.

As Grannyactivist says, that would be of interest but I cannot bring myself to write about it.

janeainsworth Mon 08-Apr-19 14:07:16

I think facts are all you need to put in, littleflo, and only those facts that you want to share.
No one is entitled to our innermost thoughts and secrets, however fascinating others think they might be.
flowers for you.

BradfordLass72 Tue 09-Apr-19 08:49:34

I'm extremely fortunate that I'm a writer and have found it easy to write about my childhood (95,000 words in just a few weeks) and all the traditions that went on just after the war, traditions we no longer see anywhere.

I made sure that 99% of it was factual, although I have made up a few conversations but they were always the sort of things that would have been said by people I knew.

What amazed me was just how much I could remember.
One memory led to another.

I had 6 copies printed for various family members and so far they've all loved it (but would they dare say so if they hadn't) grin

As for the unhappy parts of my childhood - my sons already know those bits, no need to reiterate in a story.

littleflo Wed 10-Apr-19 09:02:02

That is really interesting @BradrordLass72. Are you a Novelist? I was wondering if you wrote in the form of an Autobiography. The book I have is lovely but it is in the form of questions with pages to write the answers.

Some of the questions are personal some are for facts and some are a bit quirky. For example, “If you could rule the world for one Day what would you do?” I think I would probably stay in bed and hide under the Duvet.

Anniebach Wed 10-Apr-19 09:13:02

I have been wondering if my grandchildren would be interested or bored to read of life in a coal mining village

1inamillion Wed 10-Apr-19 09:22:35

I'm sure they would want to know Annie

My grandparents lived in a mining village and I know very little about them except that he was a blacksmith ( came from Sunderland to South Wales looking for work) and she was a school teacher.
I would love to know about them and what my father was like as a child, but sadly there's no one left to tell me.

littleflo Wed 10-Apr-19 09:24:22

Anniebach, I think it is more interesting for the Grandchildren. My eldest two, in their 20s, often ask my about my life as a child. These are my DD’s children, so I wonder if that is why she gave me the book,

harrigran Wed 10-Apr-19 09:27:11

I have one of these books given by DD. I started writing but not completed or returned it. A lot has happened since she gave me it, perhaps I will fish it out and write some more.
I am wondering if she really needs to know I didn't have a story book childhood even though my elder sister describes it like an Enid Blyton novel.

Jane10 Wed 10-Apr-19 09:35:55

I wish so much that I could have asked my grandparents so many questions. This book sounds like an interesting idea.

Gonegirl Wed 10-Apr-19 09:44:05

I have scrawled over pages and pages in a large book, at the insistence request of my younger daughter. Maybe one of these books would have saved me some wrist ache. Especially as she has probably forgotten all about it now. And possibly won't be able to read my writing.

Squiffy Thu 11-Apr-19 18:31:04

Annie I'm sure your GCs would be interested. You lived through real history. My GCs make me feel about a hundred when they show their shock at the fact that we lived in a house without any heating upstairs, ice inside the windows, minimal appliances etc. I must remember to tell them that we still had gas lighting in my school - in the 1950s!!

NanaandGrampy Thu 11-Apr-19 18:36:47

I have one I’m just completing for my sister. I tackle the odd questions like ‘if you could rule the world’ - just honestly . Some of my memories are funny, some sad and some just a description of how life was back-in the day.

I think it’s a brilliant idea, I don’t need to write about bad stuff there’s always more than one answer to any question.

Maggiemaybe Thu 11-Apr-19 19:47:17

I’m just ploughing my way through a similar book, The Grandparent’s Journal, typing up the answers, printing out three times and stapling into separate copies so that I have one for each of my children (whether they want it or not grin). I’m no writer, so find the prompts very helpful. I mentioned this on an earlier, similar thread and a GNer suggested I handwrite at least some of it, so that there’s a record of my writing - I’ll be doing that. Once all my contributions are made, it’ll be DH’s turn - there’s a space on every page for each of us. There’s a pocket for photos and documents as well, so I’ll need to get some sorted out and copied.

I wish I had something like this from my grandparents. My paternal grandma told me a lot about her family and childhood, but I know nothing at all about the other side as there was a family rift. I don’t even know what my other grandparents looked like, let alone what they were like as children. sad

jogginggirl Thu 11-Apr-19 22:48:12

When it was clear that my mum was in the early stages of dementia, we completed one of these journals. I asked her the questions and wrote down - word for word - her replies. I am so glad I did, she passed away just over a year ago but I have my book full of her memories. Her long term memory was still quite good at the time and her face was a picture as she recalled some lovely times when she was a child in Ireland ?? I would definitely recommend littleflo Once the people are gone, so are their memories and thoughts x

jogginggirl Thu 11-Apr-19 22:50:29

Well done maggiemaybe your DC will treasure it x

Maggiemaybe Fri 12-Apr-19 09:19:54

Maybe, jogginggirl, though they haven’t shown much interest as yet. smile Though I think that sometimes we want to know more as we get older, and by then it’s often too late to ask questions.