Troublesome children

I expect the OP has sorted it all out now.

Ps, their own house is a safe area where everyone looks out for each others kids so maybe we don't have that in our area.

OP are you saying you let 5 year olds out to play alone in an area they don’t know their way around? An area, your own, where you yourself don’t know whether ‘everyone looks out for each others kids’? Really?

the op posted on another thread about zipping up jackets. She pm'd me and I replied but never heard anything until this new post popped up . Something not quite right.

granniequeenie

Yes I agree Tuppnce, it is all rather confusing, so it really is no wonder people are making mistakes - I too noticed the discrepancies about the 'single mother' and 'parents' comments

Oops my apologies, but like Bluebelle I too am confused by the parental situation

My daughter is a single parent so that means that I pick the girls up from school due to the fact that she works
but OP does speak of the parents being on a week’s training course.

Either way, the parents need to be addressing their twins’out of control behaviour - at five ?

It'll all be fine if she follows my suggestions


but zip up their coats before you take them to the park Bellesgran

Tuppence may have got the ages wrong but their are many discrepancies in the three posts Bellesgran has made
In her first post about the twins not zipping their jackets up she says my daughter is a single parent so that means I pick the girls up from school in this thread she says ^ yes I m in charge as the parents are on a weeks training course from work^ at the same time in the troublesome car thread she is trying to pick her daughter up from work with the twins squabbling in the back This information just doesn’t add up so it’s no wonder poster are getting muddled up

Try doing more with them, eg baking - they can flick cake mix at each other then have a row about who gets to lick the spoon.
Play Dough (as I already suggested) but they could eat some (it is non-toxic)
Puzzles - one each and no squabbling
Puppet shows, that's good for causing arguments about who is the puppeteer and who is the enthusiastic audience
Painting - outside if possible but not on their own in the street
Chalking paving slabs
Go to the park - with you

The possibilities for arguments are endless and keeps them off the streets.

Me too granniequeenie me too.

Sometimes I look at a gransnet thread and think I’ve entered a parallel universe......

Do they have any active Social Services in the OP's area, and do they know half of the infant population is running wild, unsupervised?

Think someone should tell them.

You need to sit the parents down and tell them they need to re-evaluate their jobs in order to correctly parent their children.

No 5 year old should be out unsupervised full stop. No excuses about safe areas or what other reason they can come up with for their laziness.
April Jones would’ve turned 12 the other day. Would’ve being the most important word.

I have a 5 year old. Sometimes he doesn’t want to do things. That’s life. It’s hard being little. When your brain develops to a point where you have your own wants and desires but you’re under the rule of adults.
Tough.

Get down to their level. Tell them XYZ is happening. End of discussion. If they argue or do not comply send them to their room.

I thought it was the 10 year old and 8 year old granddaughters (see previous thread) that were causing the trouble over doing up their coats ? Not 5 year old twins?
Or have I missed something?

Tuppnce yes you have missed something. If you actually read that previous thread instead of just the search results, you'd see that it was a different poster on the thread who said she had 10 year old and 8 year old granddaughters. The OP, Bellesgran, started the thread by saying she was "grandma to twin 5yr old girls"

Tuppence ?
Love your name my grandad used to call me tupenny hapenny

I thought it was the 10 year old and 8 year old granddaughters (see previous thread) that were causing the trouble over doing up their coats ? Not 5 year old twins?
Or have I missed something?

I would consider a 4 year old knocking on a strangers door to show bite marks a serious safety concern and neglect.

As I said, unpredictable and not always honest.

I am very confused as in my world tiny children of 4 and 5 don’t go out without an adult or much older teenager. They don’t have bruises they show to complete strangers or knock on complete strangers doors to show bite marks.

It sounds to me as if all the parents here are checking out and tiny children are being left to fend for themselves or go their own way.

Baffling.

Op you need s proper approach from the parents and yourself and school to tackle this behaviour and stop them being in charge here.

If the 2 of them are joining as a 'gang' it would be an idea to separate them as much as possible. eg different schools. Though that would be another burden in organisation for you and the stressed out parents.

when I try that they just take major tantrums then throw things

Good grief.
It sounds as if the twins are firmly in control - of you, I'm sorry to say.

Let them have major tantrums, in rooms away from each other, and you, and let them stew for a while. If they throw anything, or break anything then further punishment, in that they pick things up and 'pay' for damage (in some ay) must be made clear to them.

They are only five and at that age you have to have the upper hand and they need to know YOU are the law makers, you are in charge and bad behaviour is not acceptable. Make sure they appreciate this before they grow any older. It means being consistent and on top of everything, which can be hard work, but that sort of effort and consistency pays off. If they don't behave for you now, they are likely to be little monsters before they are ten.

It's called discipline and it doesn't have to be draconian, but it does have to be taught. I do hope you have taken the twins around to the house of the little girl they bullied and made them apologise.

Then they need 'a stern talking to' as my Dad used to say. Stop the rot now.

It's evident here that there's not enough parental involvement or control as parents are either at work and when not they're quite happy to allow the children to play out ( out of the way again ) These twins have an attachment disorder.

Bellsgran things sound a lot more complicated than your initial post. I would want to sit with parents and discuss in detail rules and sanctions you want to put into place so the message is clear. A consistent use of language for praise and discipline/consequences can help e.g I like the way you helped because......... well done you made the right choice...... I don’t like your behaviour because.... you chose to do the wrong thing so......

Totally agree with all of your post Anja. School wouldn’t just send notes and would speak to parents and or grandparent with the parents permission.

There is often a long waiting list for CHAMs but the school would be able to refer you as well as a doctor. The Twins Association would also have advice.

Not sure about the point of posting ‘I’m not getting involved’ as Bellsegran asked for some suggestions of help/support.

mmmmm strange times with small children, so very very unpredictable and not always honest.

I thought the zipping up of jackets was a strange thread but this is even stranger. There is also another one about the car not starting!