Moody son-in-law

Thank you for your comments, they were very helpful. I had a lovely Mother’s Day - we all went out for meal & had really good time, except for SiL. Needed to vent a bit.

Someone like that just sucks the joy out of any occasion

I think that's how my DM would have described my DH! He was normally quite chatty and friendly, but he just did not get on with her and the less he had to do with her the better, and was always quiet when she was around.

My daughter's partner is delightful and a pleasure to be with.........it's my daughter who is moody. She always has been a bit difficult and now she is pregnant her stroppyness has not improved. BUT when she is on form she is very funny and is always there for me........we just never know which version of her we are getting. I do know, however, that she is worse when she is hungry so that's easily sorted!

Is he depressed?

My ex could throw a mood cloud that killed all sense in the house. It’s a selfish, controlling, childish behaviour. I never cured him of it. Did it to me, his mother, our children. He’s now less so, since giving up smoking, weirdly.

I have a SIL like that too. I'm always uncomfortable when at their house. When he is at our house for a family get together, he seems bored. He's quick to ask me to have the three children when he wants to arrange something for he and DD. I'm spending a few days with them in a holiday apartment later this year. I'm a bit apprehensive, but it's only for five days. It's an opportunity to go to a city, quite far away, and not be totally on my own. I'll do my own thing most of the time, and keep out of their way as much as possible. I'll pay for a third of the apartment cost, even though I'm only there for half of the time, so at least I'll be benefiting them. The kids are always ice breakers.

When you say 'moody' do you mean he has a temper and shouts (as with other posters) or do you mean he's just not very chatty and is quiet?

I know my mom would describe my DP as 'moody'. He isn't very chatty with my family (or his own really) but is with me and with his friends and some colleagues. He's polite and will make some small talk but just won't sit around for hours chatting with people that he doesn't want to, which my mom expects from her SIL. If it's a similar situation then you just have to accept that you probably won't have a close relationship with him, but if you're both polite and civil then there won't be a problem.

Ask your daughter how to react. She should know what works.

My dil is like this.oddly she can pull herself together and cater for a family party but by staying in kitchen a lot she avoids certain family members.
My son has accidently offended my other dil by saying that his dad's birthday is a boys only day out(because his own wife won't go).

Bbbface?

I wonder whether he thinks “abrupt MIL”

I have a moody husband ....if I’d known then what I know now eh! 40 years of tip toeing around him like he’s a special case! Drove me mad...and our kids.... both moved out straight from uni. Last 6 years I’ve learnt to ignore him for sanity’s sake. If I ask what he wants for lunch and he shrugs....he gets nowt. When he opens his mouth finially to ask where his bacon sandwich is ...I say you didn’t answer me so you get it yourself ...he does, but it’s made no difference. A stubborn refusenik!

Crazy H I hsve one like that my son, tread on eggshells some days

When he visits next ask him “ do I have a pleasant (name) here today, or Kevin the teenager” ....

My SIL was moody. He could be delightful and charming, but could turn on me in seconds. He shouted at me in front of all the guests at my DH’s 70th. He was also controlling. I worried for my DD and the children. Eventually they split. He was arrested for something very unacceptable and subsequently banned from teaching. My advice is keep a close eye on his behaviour towards your DD and be supportive. You don’t know the reason, but it’s a big red flag. It might not be as extreme as my experience, but it’s not right.

Allykat1946
Join the club! My tactic is to carry on with my life regardless. Why should I pander to his moods?

I have a wonderful SiL who is always the same and brings out the best in my DD.

I also have one of those my DH... not easy to live with...

My Irish friend always say when anyone in a mood, 'They have a humour on them!!'

I call it rudness and bad manners if you have guests no matter who they are.

Sorry can't think help.but did you know moodiness is a form of bullying behaviour.if you think about it actually sounds that's what happening..... when I worked in an office the moody girl depressed everyone else with her bad moods. So much so that we went to our boss to complain about her moody behaviour.she eventually stopped the moods.what a diffrrence to our workplace it made. We were much happier there.

I've got one of those too! He can be civil sometimes but mostly he's constantly angry, shouty, moody and intimidating. D spends a lot of time rolling her eyes and say's he's not usually like that - so it must just be when I visit then?? Luckily, I only have to see him once a week or so but I do think it's ridiculous for me to have to tip-toe around him - he's supposed to be an adult!

I've got two SiLs, one is outgoing, chatty and friendly, the other hardly speaks to me although is not unfriendly. I ask him questions he answers but never asks anything about how we are etc. you can guess which one I would rather spend time with.

We had one of those. Then just before Christmas he walked out on his family and moved in with a new woman. I'm glad I'll never see him again.

Maybe he thinks he has a moody MIL.