Drinking alone ...

DH and I always enjoyed a glass or two of wine at the weekend but after he died I couldn't face drinking alone. And then, one Friday evening, I opened a bottle, on my own, for the first time, feeling mighty guilty. 'Well' I said to myself, 'This is how it starts, and how it ends is on a park bench with my belongings in a carrier bag'. Five years on and I have a glass or two most weekend evenings, being very mindful of the need to stay upright and not fall up the stairs. So no park bench.....

* should read: an indispensable way to wind down...

Beckett
I didn't and don't have a philosophy of complete abstinence.
I've had my drinking days before I married but not wine and only when out with friends. Not as a bolster or to 'wind down after a hard day/week at work' nor as aid to relax.
During my first pregnancy I, of course, didn't drink and I just never bothered with alcohol again. It adds nothing to my life.
I'm not bothered what anyone else does but I certainly wouldn't accept a lift from anyone who'd had a drink.
None of my friends drink when they're driving even when meeting for lunch.
I was remarking on the way it's become an accepted routine and, for some, an I responsible wsybto wind down after a hectic week...or just because you feel like blurring the edges a bit, which is, in essence, what alcohol does to varying degrees.

So, a G&T before dinner and two glasses of wine with the meal would definitely render you unfit to drive and your edges would definitely be somewhat blurred...unless you're a regular imbibed. In that case it might take more to have a dulling effect.
The trouble is, that having a couple of drinks makes you less able to recognise your own capabilities.
It matters not what I think regarding alcohol. You have your views and that's good. I'm not against it except when someone drives after drinking.
Then, I'd have no compunction about saying something.
Bottoms up

Probably not as he is upstairs. Why is it bothering you? I don't know why people make such a big thing about alcohol. I don't touch it.

KatyK I agree! Coffee is revolting with whisky in!

Perhaps I should've said Im very happily married! Just alone for the next few hours!

Whenever my MIL made me a cup of tea or coffee, she would insist on putting a drop of whisky in it. It ruined it for me as I hate whisky.

My Gran loved a tipple and always had a sherry before dinner and a slug of scotch in her coffee every day and she was alone. Oh and the odd brandy to 'keep out the cold'. When my Sister got married, I had to run over the road in my bridesmaid dress to drag Gran and her Sister out of the pub, where they were enjoying a Mackeson in the snug, so they could be in the family photos! Gran was always happy and lived well into her 90s in her own home! I must take after her, as I'm well into a bottle of red right now and no sign of hubby. (bliss)

Granny had a dram of single malt in the evening, Mother, a sherry.

Just wondering where I fit into the drinking alone theme. DH is clearing out papers in one room, I am doing a jigsaw in another room. Both enjoying a glass of wine before preparing dinner. Does this constitute as drinking alone??

I seem to remember Milk Stout being bought for an elderly Aunt , no idea what it is/was

With regard to previous generations not drinking so much wasn't gin referred to as 'mothers ruin' at one time?

If people need wine or a G&T to wind down after 'a hard day at work, I wonder how our mothers and grans coped

Three guesses - and that was without a hard day at work!

Although in my Gran's case it would have been a large sherry!

I have a small glass of Guiness with my lunch, third of a bottle, and small glass of red wine with my evening meal. Sixth of a bottle.
When my husband was in hospital in France some years ago he was served red wine with the evening meal. I spoke to ,the dietitian and she said it was good for you but not white wine.

Thanks Blue ! We were there supporting Tigers! It was enough to make us turn to the bottle when we got home ?

Well Gabriella you clearly don't drink because you have such a sunny disposition, don't you

My husband's health problems mean he no longer drinks. It tastes like tin, he says, no matter how expensive the bottle. I now find I don't have any pleasure in a glass of wine unless we are with others then I thoroughly enjoy it
He goes to bed very early and I often wish that I felt like a nice chilled glass but it just doesn't work.
However we are going to my son's house tonight and I am looking forward to a convivial evening...???....???

I don't drink much alcohol. An odd glass of Damson Gin or a small bottle of Peroni beer which I really like.
Hubby stopped drinking a good few years ago but , not that he ever drank much anyway.

I agree Beckett. Each to their own, whatever floats your boat etc. I remember the actor Richard Harris saying, after he was advised to give up drinking which he did, 'the world without drink is a very boring place'. Of course his drinking was excessive.

I think that moderation is the key, as with all things.
If you enjoy a glass or two of something sometimes, that's absolutely fine. If you prefer no alcohol at all, that's also absolutely fine.
The problem arises when it becomes a case of feeling you need a drink, and that need arises more and more. If you recognise that that is what is happening, then it's time to take stock and re-evaluate what you are doing, because then it's becoming a problem and might be being used as a bandage for something else going on. An occasional drink, though, if you enjoy alcohol, and it's safe to do so (i.e. won't interfere with medication, or if you don't need to drive anywhere), then why not?

But, Gabriella, lots of people did drink in the past- but it was mostly men, who could escape to the pub while their wives looked after the children cooked for them, and did all the other household work. And I remember a lot of my mother’s friends talking about women who had “trouble with their nerves”, and were on medication. Perhaps a glass of wine or beer in the evenings, with their husbands, would have made them less “nervous.” And nowadays it’s rare that women don’t do two jobs, at home and away, and recent reports have shown that even women working full- time outside the home still do the lion’s share of housework, cooking etc. Besides, a glass of wine or beer is a nice accompaniment to a meal. I agree with KatyK, I drink because I like it!

Gabriella Having a drink is, for some, an enjoyable occasion. It is not "needed". If wine (or whatever) was not available we would still be able to "cope", we would still be able to enjoy our lives. What is sad is your need to condemn anyone who doesn't agree with your philosophy of complete abstinence

When I was in my 20s, a G&T after work and/or before a date, was my usual tipple. However, I've never since then enjoyed drinking on my own, except for one period when I had been told that red wine would reduce my cholesterol. It didn't. I do take a glass socially, but don't enjoy alcohol as I did 50 years ago.

I never need a drink, I just enjoy having one.

I've noted that quite a few of you write that
'I've/we've worked hard all my/our life/lives'
'after a hard day at work'
'a quiet drink'
'a nice bottle of wine' ...
as if making excuses for drinking alcohol.
Since when did we become a nation of wine drinkers ?
Not so very long ago, the average person only drank at Christmas, NY, parties or going out.
Now it's routine if the majority on here are a reflection of the trend.
A drink whilst making dinner and two at the table.
Let's hope that, if you got an emergency call from a relative, a taxi would be your mode of transport.

If people need wine or a G&T to wind down after 'a hard day at work, I wonder how our mothers and grans coped and I wonder too, if those who are on tablets (as are many on here) still imbibe regardless.
Here's me thinking that, in 2019, our working lives were made much easier with all the kitchen and household aids we take for granted, the technology at work plus cars to transport us there and back.
Life must, contrary to what I believed, be a grind and an effort for most people.
That's sad

That last sentence DoraMarr sounds absolutely delightful- perhaps that’s the key for me - to make an occasion of it!