I've heard the first one before Rufus! Thanks for reminding me 
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Made me laugh, anyway!
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."
70-year-old George went for his annual check-up. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said: "But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!" A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said: "Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night." Thelma exclaimed: "That old fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!
Rufus the first one is so shocking!!! 
The second one is hilarious!
(wish mine were silent}
It used to really annoy my daughter that my grandsons and me found it funny.
The more incensed she got, the more difficult to keep a straight face. 
I don't know why farting is funny but it just is. When my children were young we'd often visit our lovely very elderly nieghbour. She had a very significant flatulence issue but completely ignored the resulting explosions (no other word for them!). The children thought it was stunningly funny. I spent my whole time trying to restrain them from laughing or commenting.
rufus
If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? I'm from Norfolk and love Normal for Norfolk jokes. Or NFN as they're called locally
Maw; The grapevine tells me that you've had an addition to your family; congratulations and Good Health to all concerned.
I simply had to check Google for "Norfolk jokes" No contest! We are far superior!
Btw. you need to close up the brackets fore and aft to get the Smiley to work.
Oh I see!!! (wondered wtf you were on about)
should we be telling jokes about chickens and hippos
I asked that because chickens and hippos could be marginalised groups who cannot answer for themselves
Yes. Well. It took me a long time to figure out what those signs meant. 
That's very good. You think it's going to be a "blonde" joke but really the laugh is on the men.
Jalima1108
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