Soops kitchen refuge for gentle ladies

Good morning all.Really good advice Feelingmyage,I have decided to ask my brothers to help with some of my mums care as I am running on empty at the moment looking after everyone.
On a brighter note,I am having a rare day off,my eldest daughter called to say she was unwell and could we look after DGD,then called back to say nursery had a space for her.I think we are going to go to Powis Castle,not too far to drive then a walk in the gardens and lunch.
Soop,I hope your appointment goes well.Thinking of Lucky and Ann battling on behalf of their husbands.Dragonfly,hope you are feeling brighter.Synonomous,thinking of you and your husband.
Everybody else,I really am TOYA and thank you for the kind messages?

Good morning all. There is a lot of heartache in the kitchen and I particularly feel for those of you trying to care for your dear ones and having to swim against the tide. Been there done that and it is very painful. Take all the help you are offered and if it is not on offer maybe sometimes ask. People sometimes assume that if you look as if you are managing that you don’t need extra help.
I am off to visit family for the weekend, and hope I don’t have to put on my diplomatic face and voice too often.
Scones, homemade raspberry jam and whipped cream on the side, best butter for those who prefer it.

I`ve been missing for 2 days, and there`s too much for my tiny brain to remember, so please believe me when I say,
TOYA

Anno I’ve just seen your news about cracked ribs. Very painful. DH fell down some steps on a recent break away and cracked his. He’s still in pain now compounded by a cough which makes him wince even more. Sorry you’ve had a few trips recently and hope the falls clinic can suggest something . The pain will go eventually, but it’s hard having to put up with it meanwhile. Take care!

anno, sorry to hear about your fall and cracked rib. We think my mum's fall that broke her ribs was against a stair. My brother and sister are installing stair gates while mum is in hospital so that she can only go up or downstairs with someone else (she suffers macular degeneration so won't be able to see how the gate fastenings work), and a commode because both toilets in her house are only accessible via steps, one up, one down. Mum seems to be receiving excellent treatment in hospital. They are at pains to prevent her developing pneumonia in particular.

I continue to be shocked and saddened by other people's reports of poor hospital treatment. Would that gransnetters' "do it properly" vibes could make a difference

TOYA

synonymous glad your DH is behaving. Hope the much awaited wheelchair arrives soon. Don’t forget to take care of yourself in all this. You will need rest too.

ann I share with you my dear SILs last week or so in case it might help at all.
My SIL was diagnosed with advanced terminal cancer. She informed all concerned she wished no treatment having already been treated for cancer some 15 years before and felt that she wanted this to be the end. She was lucid and totally aware of her circumstances. Initially there was talk of her going home although family wanted her to go into a nursing home as we felt she couldn’t cope. SS visited and said they could provide a couple of visits a day. She didn’t refuse food but did not want it liquid intake was limited. Pain relief meant she slept most of the time. There was talk of a possible move to a hospice. She passed peacefully and in no pain in hospital. In total I think from the time of her admission to her passing was about 4 weeks and she was in reasonable health for one of those weeks. My point in telling you this is that hospitals seem unwilling or incapable of saying it won’t be long now. They talk about making plans for people to go home when the chances are they the may well not. This is not a comment about the NHS but of the way that some Doctors/hospitals talk. They very seldom say the end could be very soon and are constantly making plans to shift people on. I am not surprised the home will not have your DH back as they are probably not equipped to look after him well enough there. A hospice or hospital is probably the best place so don’t be forced into anything. My heart goes out to you. At a time when you should be being supported and helped they are trying to get you to make decisions about your husbands care that you should not have to deal with. You have my greatest sympathy ann and I hope things soon come to a peaceful end for your DH.

OK, who did it? Who shared their germs with me? Full on lurgy this evening. Not impressed, nothing in the scheme of things, others have far more to manage, it just leaves me feeling yucky and resembling Rudolph. I’ll survive, it just doesn’t feel like it .

Good luck with your guests n&g and a very Happh Easter to you.

A pat on the back for bravery in the face of dental work soop, I know it’s necessary for your wellbeing but it doesn’t make it fun. Hope all goes well with tomorrow’s appointment.

You’ve been on my mind today ann, lots of good ideas here, I can only hope something triggers improved care. I’ve also wondered if the elusive wheelchair has turned up synonymous.

A big get better soon to all under the weather and a virtual, germ free, hug for those managing life’s buggerations, be sure I am TOYA.

Evening all,

So much news and not a lot of it good in the kitchen today.

Sorry you missed your trip Marydoll , Berlin is a favourite of mine. I hope it can be rearranged for you.

Ann - oh Ann , what can I say ? I am so , so sorry. I do hope they get their act together pretty darn quick . You don’t deserve all this kerfuffle.

Soop , glad the dentist went well and hope better news tomorrow about the infection.

Syn , glad the news was good except the wheelchair. Hope that gets sorted quickly.

Sending some sunshine to all ( and cake!) . My visitors are arriving a day early and we have guests then through till after Easter, so I’ll be keeping a watching brief on you all ?.

Happy Easter !

Susan Yet another Granspal needing as much TLC as we can muster. Bless you.

anno Any fall is a buggeration. You will feel shaken and possibly well-bruised. Your GP sounds very much on the case.

Panache What would we do without your pearls of wisdom.

ann Stand firm. YOU are in the right. Your husband's welfare is paramount. Sometimes I feel like doing a whirling dervish dance with utter frustration on your behalf.

Had four X-rays. A whopping ancient filling was drilled out (oh, that noise) and the cavity duly blasted before a fresh, stronger filling inserted. I've been prescribed some very special toothpaste. List of do's and dont's re use as long as my arm. More to do. Only not just yet.

I took to my bed on returning home and was out like a light in next to no time. Awoke with a fuzzy head. Drinking lots of water.

Tomorrow is going to be very busy. The car needs attention in Campbeltown. We then visit our pal in the care home. Have a light lunch. Do a Tesco shop and keep appointment mid afternoon with the GP who will take a look at the inflammation. I shall do my best to pop into the kitchen when I return.

By the by, the programme that you lot really enjoy is not the one that I thought it was. We enjoy Countryfile. A different place on a different channel. A serious senior moment.

TOYA and much more good stuff besides.

Marydoll so sorry to hear you are having such a rough patch,these times hit hard for those whom are well used to being unwell but this time it seems longer. It is especially sad hearing you have missed out on your Berlin trip.
I wish I had a magic potion to make you well again and indeed all those suffering daily.Please know I am thinking of you and sending healing vibes.
Half the time I do not know whether I am coming or going, but realising I had "missed you out" of my earlier post" gave me a rather sharp reminder for which I have kicked myself in the undercarriage!!!
Oh! that I wish I were that agile!!

Dear Marydoll I’m so sorry about the break you’ve missed and badly needed.
Soop good luck. Is that for an extraction? (Shudder)
Ann, just awful. Looking out for news of some improvement Must say I’m shocked and dismayed at what I’ve heard from you and Luckygirl.

ann, I wonder if you could get hold of your H's urology consultant and ask him/her if they could refer H to the hospice. A referral has to be made and a consultant would carry some weight. Thinking of you a lot and hoping that you are managing to sleep. There must be so much buzzing round in your mind.
All my buggerations are self-inflicted and the latest one happened this morning. I have a step down into the bathroom and today, as I put my foot down, it slipped and took the rest of me with it. My back got the edge of the step (luckily carpeted) and I now have a very probable (and horribly painful) cracked rib. Saw GP this morning and got a very through going over. He said he could find no neurological reason for so many falls but is referring me to the falls team at a local hospital. Oh joy!

Another of those brilliantly sunny days here in West Wales but my word it is truly bitter cold outside,not to be under taken without being extremely dolled up!...........possibly wearing thermals!!

I was so appalled and deeply upset for you Ann on hearing your latest distressing news.Bad enough you are losing the love of your life, but the way you are being treated... whilst trying to find the best care for him fills me with anger.We are talking about 2 elderly human beings here and you are being treated worse than some animals.
I sincerely hope help will follow and in a form that brings both you and your H some comfort during these difficult weeks ahead.
Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you both.
At least you met with some kindness and that does make such a difference.

A very nasty looking infection there our Soop and hopefully your latest A/B`s will soon see it cleared and you back on the road to better health.
Nice and easy will get you there!

Great news from you Synonymous regarding how your husband is responding to his op,now urging to get going into the next stages.Maddening though his wheelchair was not readily in situ...........frustrating indeed.
Whilst it seems you truly need to rest some more, but being a carer in any sense does not afford much rest!
Give it your best shot.Very much in my thoughts and prayers.

You too Dragonfly as it seems you are feeling this weight too.Hope today is a little kinder.

Indeed I was also mightily impressed by your fab kitchen
Mamissimo and self designed is truly the only way to go.We ladies know how we work so are best designing these spaces.
Was it a labour of love with your husband,or mainly your own handiwork?
Another one here whom had an invite to appear on "Escape to the Country" back some 16 years ago when we lived in this idyllic cottage in Saundersfoot, overlooking the woods,Pembrokeshire Coastal path and Carmarthen Bay......friends warned us of the downside so we did not take them up........fortunately.
Amazing though seeing so many of you enjoying this show.
My interest goes back to when Catherine Gee was the presenter.It has changed over the years but the main format and my interest remains.
What a bit of a co incidence Doodle..........these "escapees" coming from near you and seemingly moving to near us!
I shall be awaiting to see if they do go through with this move!

Susan you too seem to have more than your hands can manage right now,whilst again we share our Counties in common.

Trying to flick a duster and calm the dust,not really winning but at least I can say I tried!
Have yourselves a good day dear friends and shall I add..........TOYA WILCOX!!!

Thanks to BradfordLass for the de scaling tip.
Ann I am appalled - what more is there to say, than others have already said.
Kitchen floor re-laid, ironing nearly finished, then the garden calls.
TOYA

Dear Soop I so admire your courage and matter of fact attitude to this beastly disease.

Please kitcheners take some time to be kind to yourselves, we are all guilty of overdoing things and taking on all our family problems. All these are natural to us after a lifetime of caring for others, but we all need to take a few minutes each day to just sit.

I have left cake... fruit cake and a "fridge" lemon cheesecake.

TOYA ????

Marydoll I really do not like to hear that you are feeling low in body and spirit. (((hugs))) from me, to you.

I'm away back to the dentist. Had an appointment first thing.
A cancellation has given me the chance of dental surgery to be carried out at 12:30. All necessary stuff prior to having Zoledromic Acid infusions to strengthen bones in event of secondary bone cancer.

I shall return before the end of the afternoon.

Ann I am beyond horrified. What on earth are you supposed to do? Is it any wonder that you are feeling totally let down and hopeless. Where do you turn for help? This passing the buck is totally barbaric.

Synonymous Wishing your dear husband the recovery that he deserves. Please continue to take good care of yourself.

Fab kitchen, Mamissimo - mine would fit into one wee corner.

Fennel Left breast gone. I iron with my right arm. Am taking a wee break for a while.

I have already rung Adult Social care.
They know myfeelings now, I was very forceful.
Yes it is SH eilyann
Will you PM me please about the NH you mentioned? 9

annsixty Can only reiterate what others have said. Presume the hospital is SH? My daughter's MIL was in there after a stroke and my DD and SIL were pressured to find her somewhere to go. Luckily they are young strong and good at arguing their case - not easy when sitting round a table with professionals trying to convince you they are right and you are wrong. They were used to that scenario, not all of us are. They were determined she was not going just anywhere and MIL is now in a very nice Nursing Home. It is NOT your responsibility. I am so glad your daughter is with you. As someone said contact your MP - if (s)he is not the chocolate teapot most of them are! And Council elections next month if that might help. Most of all dear ann, DO look after yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Ann it is not your responsibility to find a bed for H. I am appalled at the way you have been treated- does nobody care any more? I agree with every word anno has said. Stay strong and I am so glad your DD is close by and can share some of the load.

Synonymous delighted to hear your DH is doing so well but it is very frustrating that the wheelchair has not arrived. As said previously, nobody cares any more. Please look after yourself- he is doing so well you have to look after no.1 now.

Good morning Annsixty, I hope you managed to get some restful sleep.

Hopefully your husband has also had a peaceful night.

Just a thought have you had any contact with the hospital “Discharge Coordinator”? It is their responsibility to ensure that people leaving hospital have an appropriate place to go with appropriate care packages in place.

I can only reiterate what others have said, if you can get your husband a bed in a local hospice it would bring you peace of mind, along with fantastic care for your husband.

That is really good news Synonymous. Thank you for the update. I hope things settle down soon so you can sleep.

Sorry to hear about your daughters EDS susan but she seems to be an amazing woman.

Especially thinking of ann this morning.

I cannot keep up with all the comings and goings, but just want offer my prayers and and best wishes to all who are suffering, both emotionally and physically.
I seem to be living at a rollercoaster pace at the moment between looking after DGD, hospital and doctor visits.
I crave some quiet time for myself, but that isn't going to happen anytime soon, I'm afraid.

We were supposed to be flying to Berlin for a few days today, but I just didn't feel well enough, so I was feeling a bit low this morning until I read all the recent posts. So many Kitcheners suffering much more than I am.

Soop, I hope you are on the mend and doing as you are told. .