Finding the positive place

I bet your DD looks gorgeous merlot.

I took DD to a positive place this morning. The hairdresser!!

She had long hair but wanted it cut really short and 'choppy' so if and when she has to have it shaved it won't be such a shock. Her constant companion, 'Dilly drain bag' fits neatly into a snazzy shoulder bag so a new hair-do and stocking up with completely different make-up and earrings made it a fun morning and we intend to make the most of them

GrannyMosh My best wishes and hope your return home speeds up your recovery.

Gillybob I suspect that your family thinks the sun shines out of you! You are absolutely at the heart of it! Life sounds pretty awful right now but some people don't have the family life that you do. Also - we like you hereon GN and real life!

And I have been lucky to get to this age, which some poor souls don't.

Yes gilly you are right. I had an abusive, neglectful childhood and some traumatic events in adulthood. I struggle to think of anything positive, but then I have a lovely DH, DD and a beautiful, clever granddaughter and a lovely family in general. That's all fantastic but it doesn't alter how I feel inside.

I was born a baby with certain genetic features. I then suffered a vile and abusive childhood. Don't know if that helps

I think you would have to be a VERY strong and resilient person to overcome something like that Lily65 . I can completely understand how an abusive childhood could turn you into a negative adult.

There have always been people who look at the face / body of a person without ever looking at the person as a whole. They never see that their idea of a silly throwaway comment or cruel "joke" can effect someone deeply for a very long time, if not forever.

A good book.

I have turned into a lazy lump. I'm going to make lazy-lump-land my positive place.

...heads to sofa, cozy throw and book.

What a good idea moxeyns. I will definitely start a Joy Jar as I tend to remember the negative things that happen and forget the positive.

My happy place is usually curled up in my armchair absorbed in a good book.

I’m finding it really hard to be positive being out in a village without transport with too much time to think, my husband was a keen gardener so I am trying to keep the garden up together but there is only so much I can do, my dog does keep me going though although she is lazy yorkie and only wants to walk up the street and back, my daughter is always telling me to look on the bright side so I do try it’s just hard.

Oh how I would love to be positive. I haven't got a positive bone in my body. How lucky you are if you have good self esteem and positivity.

Apologies gillybob, that reply was to the first part of your response.
I didn't expect the second part.
Can't send real ones but please accept these and afternoon tea...on me.

You have to be ever so slightly narcissistic in order to be positive.
I like myself but certainly not in a bullish, overbearing, 'getting on your nerves' manner.
I think it's partly about having only friends and family who add something to my life, not those who leech the goodness out of living.
If people hate me, that's fine and if they like me, that's fine too. I'm ambivalent and, in real life, I treat everyone the same.
No matter how disgusting and nasty (and believe me, in my working years I've had many unacceptable words thrown my way) I can always agree that the speaker is probably right and ask for suggestions as to how I can improve myself.
That leaves them a bit nonplussed as they expect a different reaction.
As long as I'm confident and positive I can weather any storm.
Hang in there and mix with people you like, not people who drain you.

I was born a baby with certain genetic features. I then suffered a vile and abusive childhood. Don't know if that helps.

You are lucky to feel the way you do GabriellaG you really are. Perhaps it was to do with your upbringing? Maybe you were born under a lucky star? I don't know.

I think at 57 its far too late for me to "get help" . Oh and I am not bitter at all. I accept "my lot" and don't begrudge anyone whatsoever their happiness so your comment about "sucking lemons" is both unkind and not true.

No matter what you do to a 'glass full' kind of person, the glass remains full.
Turn a capped bottle upside down and the level of liquid remains the same whichever way up it's held.
You've been sucking far too many lemons. Get help ASAP.

….cont. from above posted too soon.

I was born a negative person and my upbringing reinforced my inability to ever have faith in my own judgement.

I have always felt out of my depth and doubted my self worth . I have a tendency to compare my self to others.

We are indeed "all unique" some in a good, positive way and some like me.

I could take your post and turn it completely on its head GabriellaG

I was born a positive person and my upbringing reinforced my ability to have faith in my own judgement.
I have never felt out of my depth or doubted my self-worth nor do I compare myself to others.
We are all unique but perhaps I am more unique than most...

There's something about being absorbed in an activity and losing track of time. That happens to me when I'm reading or watching TV and especially when I'm writing. Such a sense of satisfaction when a story/ chapter is finished.
I enjoy looking forward to things too: eg the DGSs are coming after school today, lunch out with my friend next week and also I love planning holidays - that can be almost better than going.
I'm feeling happy and contented right now but I know that can be very transitory. Sending best wishes to those not feeling so positive.

I think "International Happiness Day" is a ridiculous idea.

I know it’s not easy for some to stay positive, with all that is going on in their lives.

Gardening is my hobby, and fresh air every day, birds singing etc is very soothing ( and good excercise.)
Also realising that in the great scheme of things our affairs are paltry.
Helps me stay positive and calm.

Believe it or today in International Happiness Day! Maybe check out Action for Happiness website. Lots of ideas and resources....

There are days when I feel I would like to be on a blowy beach, alone, walking along barefoot and letting the waves run over my feet. It is, for me, rejuvenating and puts all the madness in the world (and occasionally my life) into place.

It would be a drive to get to the coast so the next best place would be either in the conservatory, when it's warm, watching the birds in the garden, or in my favourite armchair with a book and a cup of tea. Alone.

For all those that are in real need of switching off for a while, I hope you can find a place and time to do it soon. I know for some it could never be that easy.

I can get very down, especially on Sundays, but I know it will pass as it is not in my nature. I am lucky enough to usually be a positive person.
I am trying not to worry about things I cannot control which is hard but today the sun is shining and I am about to take the granddog out for a long walk. I love the simple things.

I am so sorry to hear how down many of you are. Problems can seem insurmountable but I do hope you can work through them.

Grannymosh I am shocked to read of your experience. At least you are in Germany where the health service is excellent. I had assumed everything was going to plan. I do hope your operation goes well and the follow-up treatment is successful.

Sending all those in need